It Doesn't Have to Be That Way
by Carebearmaxi
Summary: It's Christmas Eve. Pearson Specter Litt is letting everyone go home early. After Mitchell leaves Donna with no plans, she goes with Harvey to spend the Christmas weekend. Mitchell wants her back and Donna says no. Does Mitchell accept this gracefully or not? Darvey but all cast eventually plus new characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I know this is a little late for Christmas, but I wasn't inspired until Suits came back in January and then no resolution to Harvey and Donna so far. So this is just something I was thinking pondering how they will portray Mitchell or if they portray Mitchell in Season 6. Summer can't come fast enough. Review and see if you like the first 3 chapters. Thanks - Carebearmaxi**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Specter," Gretchen said as she was leaving the office on Christmas Eve. It was only 1:00 pm and as was customary Pearson Specter Litt let their employees leave early on Christmas Eve so they could have extra time to share with their loved ones during the special time of year.

"Merry Christmas, Gretchen. Thank you," Harvey responded. Earlier he had treated his secretary to a very nice gift with a nicely handwritten "thank you" from Harvey himself. She had been a godsend since Donna had moved to Louis' desk. It was very unusual for Harvey to have to shop for and write to his own secretary. He had been so used to Donna just taking liberties with his corporate card and knowing that he would never have guessed what she had wanted. Not realizing that all she ever wanted was for him to tell her he loved her and "how" he loved her.

That was what so stupid for him. Now just when had finally realized how he loved Donna and how long he had been in love with her, she had found someone else who could love her as she deserved. Because she did deserved to be loved by someone wholly and completely as Harvey now understood that was how she had always loved him.

"Louis, it's beautiful. You didn't really have to get me anything. Dinner and lunch and tickets to the New York Symphony's playing of the Messiah was a great gift," Donna had said as she carefully held the Pandora charm bracelet Louis had given to her as a more personal thank you for her coming to work for him and always doing her best for him and for helping him through this difficult year with Sheila leaving him, his heart attack, and taking over for Norma after her death.

"Of course, I did, Donna. You know I can never thank you enough for coming to work for me and being my friend and not going back to Harvey," Louis said. "Let me clasp it on for you and I can point out all the little charms and how I think they tell your story."

"No, Louis, I can do it myself," Donna said hastily withdrawing her hand from Louis' grasp. She had spotted Harvey coming down the hall and she did not want him to get the wrong idea. After all, Harvey knew but Louis did not know about Mitchell. The last thing she needed before leaving for the Christmas holiday was to have questions thrown at her from Harvey regarding her love life and its latest developments.

"Well, Merry Christmas, Donna," Louis said coming around her desk and hugging her. She squeezed Louis in a grateful way and wished him a Happy Hanukkah as well as Merry Christmas.

"Is Esther coming into town to see you?" Donna asked as she spotted Harvey walking back to his office. They all knew that Harvey took advantage of yet another woman seeking a little unexpected but welcomed affection except that Harvey did his usual "we had a moment and that's it" number on her and caused Esther to cry and Louis another reason to resent Harvey. Donna was jealous, yes, but she herself had made the decision to move on and now she had a nice guy named Mitchell.

"No, she's spending it with her children. I'm going to Rochester to see my parents. Last night of Hanukkah is coming up, so we'll be together for that," Louis said.

"Merry Christmas, Louis. Happy Hanukkah also," Donna repeated giving Louis a peck on his cheek. It was at that moment that Harvey alighted from the elevator and spotted her giving Louis a Christmas peck. She caught his eye and his smirky smile.

 _What's all that for? How many years did we purposefully avoid touching each other in fear of...what? Well I did always have my rule. He'll never know how close I came to breaking it all these last years-for him-just for him. I always feel so alone this time of year. I'm sure he must be feeling alone as well since I came to work for Louis. The panic attacks that he has experienced are not fun either. However, I can't call him on any of that as our reconciliation is still too raw._


	2. It Doesn't Have To Be That Way Chapter 2

It Doesn't Have to Be That Way - Chapter 2

Before Harvey accompanied Gretchen from the building, he gave her an affectionate out of character hug which she permitted and he did sincerely thank her for picking up the smithereens of his practice after Donna had left so abruptly. Harvey knew the chaos he had been left with was his own fault. Donna had done the right thing and given him two weeks, but he was such a dick that he threw it in her face. Harvey had been somewhat hurt after he finally told Donna he loved her. Just because she wanted more than what he wanted or was afraid to give was not his fault. She knew he had his limits, so for her to expect more from him was absolutely ridiculous. Her reaction to this idea was devastating for Harvey. At first Harvey thought her absence was temporary and he knew that someday she would come back to him. However, after several months now of self revelation therapy, he would not blame Donna if she had shot him when he tried to make amends and apologize for being such an ass to her.

They had reconciled, in a fashion, but just after sleeping with Esther Litt for the hell of it, Harvey was handed a revelation from Donna that she had moved on with this guy named Mitchell. According to her, he was so far from a lawyer that Donna felt almost relieved that he did not understand what her job was and how much work it entailed. Working for Louis was probably no picnic and, yes, he had shown his appreciation but not after calculating and knowing he would not miss the expense of continuing to pay Donna's amended salary requirements. Harvey had been generous to a fault. He never cared about the expense and he was very successful and felt that Donna was partially responsible for his success. They had been a great team. Harvey had admitted to his therapist and Louis, "He never cared about the money and that's why he never minded sharing it with Donna."

As Harvey alighted from the elevator back at the 50th floor, he caught Louis giving Donna a Christmas gift. Something personal to show his real affection and he was probably wishing she felt more for him than friendship _. Good luck with that buddy, he thought. She's moved on from me and she never thought of you than just a friend._

He smiled and laughed a little and walked back to his office. He did notice how Donna was uncomfortable seeing him smile like that.

Harvey returned to his office and started to remove the garland from around his door. He was surprised he let the female associates hang it in the first place. Of course, Harvey still believed his reputation preceded him in any situation. A year ago, Harvey would not have had a second thought but to take one of the associates home with him to spend a lonely Christmas Eve with a little companionship. However, tonight all he wanted was to go home, put on his father's Christmas album, and sulk into a large glass of Macallan 18.

"Harvey?"

Harvey turned around at the sound of her voice. His neck whipped so fast that he could have given himself whiplash. He put a hand up to soothe the sudden pain as he looked at Donna - his true love.

"Hey, Donna. Merry Christmas..such as it is," he said as he threw up his hands to indicate where they were at the moment.

"I know I don't work for you any more, but I still got you a gift. I guess it's out of habit.."Donna said as she pulled a little brightly wrapped present from behind her back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't get you anything, but you can have my credit card if you want," Harvey said trying to joke with her like they used to.

Donna smiled and laughed a tiny chuckle. "That's ok. I think I'm suprised I haven't bankrupted you all by myself through the years."

"No. Not at all," Harvey responded smiling and taking the package she proffered.

"What is it?"

"You can open it now or you can wait until tomorrow. It's not much. Just something I saw and thought of you."

Harvey took a few steps to where Donna stood in the doorway to his office. He tentatively came close and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

Donna returned his kiss by pecking him on the cheek as well.

"Well, I've got to go..," Donna said as she turned to leave his office.

Harvey grabbed her hand.

"Hey, are you on a timeclock tonight? Maybe we could get a celebratory drink before we head home?" Harvey asked and at once he regretted it. _She's probably got plans with her new man tonight he thought._

"I would love that, Harvey, but I have to get home and get ready for Mitchell. He's picking me up at five and we're venturing to New Jersey to have Christmas Eve with his parents and siblings. Tomorrow we're going to see my mom and sisters," Donna said.

Harvey looked at her and then at the present she gave him. He raised his head and trying not to show his disappointment in his big chocolate eyes he simply said, "Well, have a good night and Merry Christmas."

"You, too, Harvey. See you on Monday."

With that she left leaving Harvey in a pool of feelings which he wanted to express but again he put up the wall. He figured she was too busy with Mitchell anyway.

He decided to go to the bar and see who else would like to drown their Christmas Eve sorrows with him.

Donna walked away knowing she lied to Harvey for the umpteenth time. Not that Mitchell did not exist it was just that she lied about her immediate plans. Mitchell was not ready to take Donna to meet his family and she, in no way possible, was she ready to take Mitchell home to Connecticut for them to see she was attached to someone other than Harvey. As a matter of fact, no one even knew that she had moved from Harvey's desk. Not even her sisters. Donna wanted that hell to be private and needed nor wanted any sympathy. After years of dampening those feelings and having them spring up suddenly earlier this year with an acknowledgment that Harvey loved her but did not know how was a punishment that Donna felt no one could offer consolation.

Donna put on her coat and took the last of the mail from today's half day of work and headed to the elevators. As she looked up waiting for a car to open, she spotted the mistletoe that some misguided employee had placed above the cars. Donna wanted to reach out and pull it down but it was just out of reach of her tall stature even with the four inch heels she was wearing. _Oh well, it's not like anybody eligible is going to walk off that elevator and straight into my arms and lips._

Suddenly Louis walked off the elevator straight into Donna. He kissed her on the mouth although he had to stand a little on his tiptoes as she stood slightly taller than he. When he was finished he had the audacity to say, "Merry Christmas, Donna. See you on Monday!" Donna turned to see him walk toward his office with a little skip to his step that had not existed until after he kissed her.

Donna did not know whether to be embarrassed or horrified. He knew she did not feel that way about him. Of course, Louis being Louis and his ego having been bolstered by Donna's working for him, he became more obnoxious than he had always been.

Donna just walked into the car and could not fathom if she needed a drink or she just wanted to head straight home and cry.


	3. It Doesn't Have To Be That Way Chapter 3

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way -Ch 3

Harvey sat at the bar of his favorite after work hangout. It was very nearly empty this Christmas Eve afternoon except for some misguided corporation deciding to have their company Christmas party on Christmas Eve. At Pearson Specter Litt the annual ritual usually occurred earlier in the month just after Thanksgiving. As his gaze panned around the nearly empty bar he spotted someone he knew sitting at a hideaway table all by herself. He wondered why she was here and then decided maybe she could use a little of his company.

He walked over to her table. As he looked at her he noticed her head had not even risen to see who was approaching. The holiday music was loud in the bar with no other voices to absorb it, but the sound did not pervade every fiber of one's being. Donna looked as if she were asleep or just too lost in thought to even hear his approach.

"Donna?"

There elicited a response. Her head snapped up so quickly he thought she would give herself a stint of whiplash.

"Harvey?"

"Mind if I sit?" Harvey said welcoming himself to the chair opposite Donna at the small table. There was a candle lit between them and Harvey could see the luminesence of her alabaster skin and the beautiful depths in her own dark eyes. He also saw that she had been crying. Her eyes were just a little too full and red rimmed. He could never stand her tears and he wanted whatever hurt her to go away and not come back. He took her hand which lie motionless between them.

"Are you ok? I thought you had plans tonight with Mitchell?"

"Well, you caught me. I lied. Mitchell isn't ready to take me home to his parents, and I as sure has hell do not want my mother and sisters to meet him-yet." Donna wiped a tear from her eye.

"Why did you lie to me, Donna? You know I would have figured it out sooner or later," Harvey said smiling slightly and taking a sip of his drink.

"No you wouldn't, Harvey. You are usually oblivious to anything touchy feely especially when it comes to me," Donna said offhandedly like it meant nothing to her to describe her feelings with Harvey. For Donna, though, Harvey had always been safe because he was not one in touch with his own feelings. However, lately, with the help of Dr. Agard he was becoming a more empathetic person which, if anyone really knew Harvey Specter, they would know it was a revelation.

"I guess I deserved that. I'm sorry. I'm getting better with the feelings thing you know?"

"Yes, I do. You would never have forgiven me going to work for Louis if you hadn't. I know that was a big step for you and I very much appreciated it. So, no bimbos for you to take home or am I too early?"

"No," Harvey said quickly, smiling, then he paused. "Actually, Donna, I really just wanted a drink and then I was going to go home, probably alone, and listen to my father's Christmas album."

"That's my favorite out of all your father's music. He knew how to blow that sax with such a feeling. You know, I have always found the saxophone to be a sexy instrument," Donna said smiling salaciously.

"Well, I know you haven't heard it for a while; so why don't you just come home with me, we'll have a little dinner that I know I can whip up and spend Christmas Eve like two friends should," Harvey said.

Donna looked at him and tried to discern his hidden meaning. She did not want to get caught up in him again only to get an invitation shot down. She loved him and wanted him far too much to keep living through that. Twelve years sitting right outside the door had been bad enough. She wanted to make him happy. He was a good man and did deserve it, and she knew she hurt him by going to work for Louis but he kept hurting her with seemingly no regret. Day after day, year after year, finally admitting that he loved her but he just did not know how. She had some speculations on that but did not want to hope that she was his true love. He had always been hers ever since she laid eyes on him and spoke with him. When they slept together that "other time" had only confirmed it for her. However she knew he was way too much self-involved to ever have time to recognize any feeling for someone else even if he expressed it the wrong way and wanted her to come work for him. That was why she instituted the "rule". Now she would be happy if he truly knew himself and that he truly knew he loved her in _that_ way.

"Sure, sounds great. Can we walk for a little bit? I would like to absorb some of the holiday spirit in the city. I think I have been cooped up for far too long," Donna said anticipating a "no".

"Of course, we can walk for a little bit. I gave Ray the day off, so if you get fatigued we can call a cab, " Harvey agreed.

With that Harvey held Donna's chair out for her as she rose and he handed her into her coat. They both bundled up for the cold December air and once outside took a great big sniff and both smiled into one another's eyes.

"Ah, New York in December ." They both said together.

Harvey offered his hand and Donna a little hesitantly put her hand in his and felt him squeeze it tight. They walked on into the cold December air maybe at the beginning of something or maybe just a way to continue something.


	4. It Doesn't Have to Be That Way Chapter 4

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Ch 4

"Wasn't that light show spectacular?" Donna asked Harvey breathlessly as they entered his apartment.

"Yes, it was beautiful," Harvey said sneaking a look at Donna whom he thought at the moment outshone the light show they had witnessed downstairs. Her beautiful red hair was blown about, her fair cheeks were red with the cold and her eyes sparkled with starfire. He thought as he looked at her _the lights are not as beautiful as you._

"So, I'm starving. What are you whipping up for us, Chef Specter?"

Harvey removed his coat and placed it over one of the chairs at the kitchen bar. Going around the bar to the refrigerator he opened the doors and noticed the empty shelves except for the bottle of cabernet he had chilled in the bottom of the refrigerator. It was not Donna's favorite Merlot but he thought perhaps it might do with the pasta dish he knew how to make. He looked in his food pantry and was very happy to find at least he had the ingredients for that.

While Harvey busied himself in the kitchen, Donna had removed her coat and her shoes and curled up on Harvey's couch. She absorbed his scent which pervaded the pillows on which she had laid her head. She felt so safe and warm when she inhaled him. It was almost as good as being in his arms. Donna drifted asleep on that scent and the last thing she could remember was that there had been a tantalizing scent emanating from the kitchen as well.

"Donna?" Harvey said as he spotted how comfortable she was lying on his couch. He did not mind. She was there with him. That's all that mattered. Even if this evening had no more events than just being together, Harvey would be satisfied. How Mitchell was not ready to take this woman home to meet his parents was unbelievable. Harvey had introduced her to his family almost the first week she worked for him in the DA's office. Immediately his father and brother were as smitten as he was although Harvey was oblivious to what he was really feeling and he was just glad that he had such a wonderful woman to be his secretary and friend. Truth be told if it had not been for her stupid rule, they probably would have been sleeping together these past 12 years and who knows, maybe, Harvey would have grown enough to want to marry her instead of spending a life laden with one night stands covering the guilt and the depression of aloneness. Harvey had never said he regretted his lifestyle and for him it was a thrill a minute but he was getting more tired of it and sometimes all he wanted was constancy. That was what he had lost when Donna left him-steadiness, constancy, and protective care.

Harvey took a glass of the cabernet and carried it over to the couch where Donna slept. He placed it on the table for her and then took a seat on the chair across from her and watched her sleep. His breath was taken away by how peaceful and beautiful she was. His mind strolled through the years and he thought with more emphasis and thought about how many times he had watched her sleep. That other time he had turned over, carefully removing her hand from around his waist, and gently kissed her forehead gazed upon her for a couple of minutes and then abruptly left before he could acknowledge that he had fallen in love. He knew now he was in love with her and he regretted how he had ignored it and the one time he wanted her to know he was too afraid of her wanting more and then expressing it totally so she misunderstood and blew their relationship apart when actually all he wanted was the opposite.

Now she was involved with Mitchell. He hated just hearing his name when Donna said it. According to Donna, he was a great guy but he was not ready for marriage. Sounded a little like Harvey's problem if you asked him, but Harvey felt that Donna was in no way not the marrying type. The more and more he realized and acknowledged his feelings he realized he would marry Donna in a heartbeat if they could get to a place where he felt he could ask her.

"Where's the music, Specter?" Donna's voice bringing Harvey back from his thoughts.

"Just a minute," Harvey said as he ventured to his father's tapes and placing them on his ancient reel-to-reel machine flooding the spacious apartment with Gordon Specter's sax playing a sensual version of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas".

"Is this for me?" Donna asked spying the glass of wine in front of her. "What is that wonderful scent? Is that your famous Spinach Linguine in White Wine Sauce?"

"You remembered?"

"Please, you made that for me when I came to work crying after that stupid lunkhead Darren dumped me for some stupid blonde. Yes, I remember. Good choice, Harvey. I thought we were going to have to go somewhere in Jersey to find anything open on Christmas Eve."

Donna sat up and took a sip of wine. She knew it was not her favorite Merlot but she really did not expect Harvey to have anything favorite of hers lying around his apartment. It had not been too long since she had given him the cactus which was still actually alive lying on the bar to the kitchen. She was right, though, if it had been less hearty Harvey probably would have found a way to kill it. However, it actually seemed to be thriving. There were even little pink flowers on the little sprouts next to the main cactus.

"Wow, that little guy has actually grown. Good job, Harvey."

"What did you mean? I take very good care of that little guy since you gave it to me. I actually enjoy having it around."

"Do you talk to it and wish good morning when you get up?" Donna asked sarcastically not knowing to be pleased or appalled thinking that Harvey actually talked to his little cactus.

Harvey took a sip of his wine and smiled, "Now, Donna, you know me better than that. Would I really talk to a plant?"

"You would if you knew you it was the only way you could hear yourself talk."

Harvey laughed and took another sip. "Ok, yes, I named him Charlie and I happen to to talk to him."

"You see? You can take care of something beside yourself," Donna laughed and clinked his wineglass with hers.

"Where's your gift?" Donna asked after a few minutes of looking around the room and noticing the lack of Christmas decorations.

"I put it in the bedroom while you were sleeping. I thought I would wait until tomorrow to open it."

"No wonder you don't have any Christmas spirit! You don't have a tree. Not even one in a pot already adorned with a foil cover and red bows on the boughs."

"Is that what you have?"

"Yes, how'd you guess. I can't be bothered with a big tree when I am the only one who sees it. I usually spend Christmas with wherever my family decides to celebrate it."

"Where is it this year?" Harvey asked interested in her life outside from the office.

"Julia, my younger sister's apartment. She just took this swanky new job with an international computers firm and she gets paid an obscene amount of money for doing her job, so she wanted the dubious honor of having Christmas at her house." Donna said and then laughed a rueful laugh as if it was really ironic.

"What was that going on between you and Louis I caught this afternoon?" Harvey asked as he went to add wine to the baking dish and put it back in the oven for about ten minutes. He walked back to his seat and took another sip of the sweet wine.

"You saw that? He gave me a very nice gift of a Pandora charm bracelet. He wanted to show me how each charm on it fit me."

"Does it?" Harvey said smiling sarcastically up to his eyes putting down his wineglass,removing his tie, and placing it on the chair to join his jacket. He unbuttoned his top button and felt relaxed.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Come on, Donna. Louis has wanted you ever since he first laid eyes on you," Harvey said as placed his glass on the coffee table between them.

"I know. At least I have been able to keep him as a "friends-only" policy. I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea after today." Donna said giving Harvey a look from under her lashes.

"Why? What happened today?" Harvey asked wondering if this was going to lead him to punch Louis' lights out again.

Donna hid her expression for a minute and then she said, "Well, you know that stupid bit of mistletoe some fool put on top of the elevator bank; namely, the number two elevator?"

"No, but then again, I'm not surprised. A couple of the female associates hung garland all over my office door. I just smiled and charmed them and told them yes when they asked."

"I wondered who did that since Gretchen didn't look like she would have stood that type of nonsense. I know I was the only one who dare give your office a little Christmas Spirit."

Harvey smiled and agreed. "So what about the Mistletoe?"

"I was waiting for the elevator to go home and when the doors open out steps Louis, stands on his toes, and gives me a huge smooch on the lips!" Donna said now laughing about the incident thinking if that was a come on from Louis that was more of a put off than Donna would like to think.

"I thought Louis knew about Mitchell?"

"No, I never told Louis about Mitchell. You were the only one I have told about him."

"Not even Rachel?" Harvey asked taking a sip of his wine with a smile on his face.

"Not even Rachel. I didn't want for her to blow the whole thing out of proportion."

"So, what happened after Louis kissed you? Did he propose?" Harvey asked tittering.

"Stop laughing, Harvey, it's not that funny. No he just wished me a Merry Christmas and then skipped to his office." Donna then began to giggle and got up to put her wineglass on the counter next to the cactus.

"What's the timer say?" Harvey asked rising from his seat with glass in hand coming over to the bar and spying the oven timer.

"It looks like five minutes and counting," Donna said taking her glass in hand and slowly swirling what was left of the contents.

Suddenly, a _ping_ was heard and Harvey came around to the oven and accidentally brushed Donna's backside with his own.

"Excuse me, Donna," Harvey said removing the tray from the oven.

"No excuse necessary, Harvey," Donna said. Instead of setting the small dining table, Donna put down her glass and put her arms around Harvey's waist as he placed the tray on the counter.

"Donna, what are you doing?"


	5. Chapter 5

It Does Have to Be That Way - Ch 5

"I just wanted to hug you. I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't," Donna said removing her hands from Harvey's waist.

He smirked but Donna could not see his expression because his back was still toward her. Her touch gave him goosebumps. He wanted nothing than to touch her back and carry her to the bedroom and make love to her-hot passionate love. It was not that he had not had any sexual contact for a while now, but this was Donna whom unbeknownst to her he would take back any unfeeling thing he had ever said to her just for her to know how much he loved her and wanted her back in more than just a friend's name.

Harvey put down the tray and turned around and looked into Donna's expressive eyes.

"Well, I could give you a hug. All you had to do was ask," Harvey said turning around and taking her into his arms. He squeezed her tightly hoping she would know how much she meant to him.

"I thought you didn't do the touchy feely thing."

"When I have time I love hugging just as much as the next guy."

Donna felt so safe in his arms. She was surprised at his response. A few months ago when she suggested he stay the night he gave her an adamant no and said, "You know I love you, Donna." Dr. Agard must be doing wonders with him. First he said thank you for her 12 years of devoted service and now he hugged her without her having her to goad him into it. She decided maybe they could go a little farther.

"You know I meant what I said when I told you I loved you, Harvey," Donna ventured saying into his neck very quietly.

He felt her breath on his neck and it almost distracted him from what she was saying. He felt tingles up and down his spine.

"Donna," Harvey said quietly. He wanted her so badly. He pulled out of the embrace just far enough to see her expression.

"What about Mitchell?" Harvey asked. She said he was her boyfriend so Harvey still had his rule about infidelity even if there was nothing really hard and fast between them.

"Why?"

"Listen, Donna, I am in love with you, and all I want to do tonight is carry you off to my bed and make love to you. However, if you are in a serious relationship with this guy, I am not going to cause you to cheat on him. You know my issues with infidelity and I swear I never sleep with married women because of that."

Donna kissed him passionately opening her mouth and begging for him to join her in deepening the kiss. When it was over, she smiled into his questioned eyes, "Does that feel like a serious relationship with another man?"

"No, it feels like you want something..."

"Yes, I want you, Harvey Reginald Specter. You couldn't tell me a few months ago how you loved me and now all you want to do is rip my clothes off and have sex with me? "

"No, I want to _make love_ to you," Harvey said in a low raspy voice.

"Then do it. Mitchell dumped me yesterday. That's why he wasn't ready for me to see his parents or vice versa."

Harvey released her immediately and then scooped her up in his arms and whisked her to his bedroom where their clothing could not come off fast enough.

In the middle of the night, Donna woke up and realized she was still in Harvey's bed with his arms still around her and her head on his chest. She had fallen asleep hearing his heartbeat calming down after his climax in their lovemaking, and she was aware of how tightly he had held her and the feelings he was finally free of which to tell her.

 _He said that he has been in love with me for 12 years. He just never recognized it or did not want to because he thought he would scare her away. Just like he had a few months ago when he could not allow himself to be the kind of man she would want to love and perhaps be with for the rest of her life. Strange, I loved him when he broke my heart and I loved him ever since. All my life has been about you, Harvey Specter. Now I'm glad it was._

As dawn of Christmas Day was unfolding outside, Harvey smiled. He finally received the best Christmas present he ever could desire-waking up with Donna in his arms.

 _Oh I how I love you! I wish I could have said how a few months ago and now we would have been dating at night and working together during the day. You are the woman in my dreams and the one who can keep me awake or make me laugh or just love me. We have been together these last 12 years-not how I wish we had have been but that will change my love._

Harvey kissed Donna's forehead as her face was upturned to his while she slept in his arms and her head on his chest. He squeezed her again and hoped she would respond by allowing him to pick up where he left off last night.

"Merry Christmas, Harvey," Donna said as she noticed the expression on his face. "I'm surprised I'm still here. Isn't this a rarity?"

"Not for you. I hope it's permanent," Harvey said as Donna rose her head from his chest. She took the sheet with her and tucked it under her arms covering her breasts. She was not ready to resume whatever it was they had been doing last night. He says her loves her and now he mentioned permanence. Donna was still not sure if she should believe him or run for fear of her life again as she did earlier this year.

"Are you sure about that?" Donna asked as she started to pick up her clothes and headed toward Harvey's bathroom.

"It's Christmas. Where are you going?" Harvey asked coming out of bed and walking toward Donna. She proceeded to hurry into the bathroom and shut the door in his face.

"Donna!"

"Harvey, just give me a minute. Do you mind if I take a shower?"

"Not so long as you let me join you?"

Donna opened the door and leaning on one arm said, "Harvey, I need a few minutes alone. Would that be ok?" She tried to reason with him and those big liquidy brown eyes she had come to love.

"Sure. We're too high up for you to jump out the window," Harvey responded and let the door close between them. He wondered what the problem was. He knew she had heard what she wanted to hear from him. Her eyes were so beautiful and she responded so well to his touch. They had melded together as if it one did not exist without the other. He hoped she was not having second thoughts or doubts-about them.

Twenty minutes later, Donna exited from the bathroom. Harvey had apparently risen and started cooking because she could smell bacon and eggs coming from his kitchen area.

Donna had decided to ditch her workclothes from last night and found some of Harvey's things that would do for her until she could get home. When she stepped into the kitchen and came around the corner, Harvey had turned around from the frying pan on the stove.

"Wow, you were worth the wait! You look better in my clothes then I do."

"Harvey, I look like crap. I have no make up and I didn't have my shampoo so I had to use yours and I don't know what they put in that manly shampoo but my hair feels like astroturf."

Harvey laughed and his mirthful smile reached his eyes which were happy and sparkling. Something which Donna did not witness often. Normally his face creased into a smile after he won big at poker or just won a huge case. His "just gotten some" smile was totally different. More of a sly fox than a happy man smile or a relieved smile-that was it. An appetite that was sated for a little while until the urge hit him again. That other time she never noticed what he smiled like because he had hit the road before she had awakened.

"Well, if you look like crap, I would love to see what a really unattractive woman looks like in the morning," he joked back and gave her a kiss on her lips.

Donna's eyes widened. "What was that for?"

"Merry Christmas. Thank you for spending it with me." Harvey then turned around and resumed finishing preparing their Christmas breakfast.


	6. Chapter 6

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 6

After the delicious breakfast that Harvey prepared and practically force fed Donna, she looked out the window of his bedroom preparing to go home. As her gaze fell on the snow still falling from last night covering everything, even at this altitude, with a pristine white sheet, her cell phone rang. She tore her gaze from the sight and noticed it was Mitchell calling her. _What the hell could he want?_

"Mitchell," Donna said as unemotionally as possible. She did not want Mitchell to know yet that her one dream was on the verge of coming true. Not yet.

"Merry Christmas, Donna," Mitchell said in a voice which sounded very sorrowful.

"What do you want? You dump me on Christmas eve and expect me to wish you a Merry Christmas?"

"I know. I was stupid. I should have brought you to my parents today. They asked about you when I arrived last night."

"What-do-you-want? I do not think we have anything else to say," Donna said sternly hoping he would just go away and leave her alone. They had broken up last night. Just like she had told Harvey. The last thing she needed was for Harvey to think she had lied to him.

"I changed my mind. Could we talk at your place?" Mitchell asked with hope in his voice.

"There's nothing to discuss. I'm on my way to my sister's upstate. Goodbye." Donna hung up the phone.

"Who was that?" Harvey said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He came over and put his hands around her waist and squeezed her,.

Donna pulled away. "You didn't startle me, Harvey. Hey, do you think you could take me home? I need to get a change of clothes and call my family and tell them I decided to stay with you for Christmas."

Harvey looked into her eyes. "That was Mitchell on the phone just now, right?" Harvey stood there not touching her and with his jaw set.

"Yes."

"Did you lie to me? You didn't break up with him?" Harvey eyes started to grow cold and he stomped away before Donna could defend herself.

"Harvey! Don't walk away from me," she said as she ran up to him and pulled on his arm to turn him around to look at her.

"Why?"

"He broke up with me. He wants to have a talk, but I told him goodbye. I don't want him. I want you. I have always wanted you. You just never seem to want me. Last night you talked of permanence, but, Harvey, I'm scared. I spent twelve years at your beck and call waiting for you to love me. I know I did not extricate myself that far from you and to tell you the truth I was jealous when I found out you slept with Esther. Hell! I've been jealous of every woman you ever slept with. But I took comfort in knowing that I knew the real you. Even when I thought Scottie being here would be good for you. I was willing to give up the dream of you loving me so you would be happy. Then you told me you loved me but you couldn't figure out how..."

"I thought I told you last night how much you mean to me and how I love you..."

"Let me finish. Then, yes, last night was everything I ever wanted. Ever since I fell in love with you twelve years ago. So when Mitchell called, I just wanted him to get the message that I no longer care. But be clear here, Harvey, he dumped me and now he regrets it."

"So?"

"So, I think I should see him just to officially tell him that I don't want him and that I have you. You, the man, I have always loved," Donna said and took Harvey's face in her hands and kissed him on the lips. She felt his arms go around her and pull her so tight to him.

When they pulled out, Harvey asked, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. I'm a big girl. I've handled break ups before. However, thanks, anyway."

Harvey kissed her again. "You are mine now. I promised you once and my promise has always been that I would never let anything happen to you. So, if he..."

Donna kissed him again. "Mitchell isn't like that. I think he will be just fine."

"So are you meeting him today?"

"No, of course not, Specter! I plan to spend the whole day snuggling up on your uncomfortable couch and watch football, Christmas specials or whatever."

"How about some more sex?"

At that she sidled up to him and said in a very deep seductive voice, "Oh, definitely, you're never getting rid of me now."

Harvey started to kiss her with a fervor that rekindled all the flames; however, Donna stopped him before he pushed her back to the still unmade bed.

"Harvey, I do really need to go home first, though. I will need a change of clothes and at least my toothbrush."

"Oh, ok, but I'm driving and I'm giving you 30 minutes to gather your stuff, call and wish your family a Merry Christmas and then we are coming right back here."

"Well, we could stay at my place a little longer. At least I have a fully stocked refrigerator. I could cook you dinner...Christmas dinner."

"Could we still have sex?"

"We can make love anytime while we're there. I haven't entertained about a 100 men in my bed."

"No, but I'm sure there have been a few since me. I mean it has been twelve long years."

"Not as many you think sweetheart. You know the longer we stand here and have this conversation the shorter time we have to make love either there or here. So Specter can we please get going?"

Harvey at once released her and practically shoved her toward the front door where they both retrieved their winter apparel and ran to his car below in the parking garage. They took his Audi as it was too cold to drive the Aston the way Harvey liked to drive it-topless. Just how like he liked his Donna.


	7. Chapter 7

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way Chapter 7

When Donna arrived home, she went directly into her bedroom and proceeded to pack a few belongings so she could stay with Harvey over the Christmas weekend. She was going to insist coming home Sunday night before they reported back to work because she did not want to face Louis the first weekend she had shared with Harvey in more than just a secretarial capacity. Louis was always over protective of her that sometimes she felt just a little smothered.

"Hey, Harvey, let me call my mom and sister and tell them that I won't be there this year."

Before she could step away from her he took her elbow and looking her in the eye, she said, "Hey, I've got a better idea."

"No, Harvey, my mother and my sisters were not expecting you. They would read too much into what's going on between us...by the way what is going on between us, Harvey. Seriously..." she said looking into those big brown orbs that melted her legs when she stared too long.

"We're being whom we should have been a long time ago," Harvey said as he gently held her hands in his.

Donna said nothing but let go of Harvey's hands and went into the bedroom to apologize to her sister for not showing up at her place to celebrate the day with the family. Julie, as usual, figured out Donna was with Harvey although Donna hotly disputed it until the end of the phone call. They mutually hung up and Donna vowed she would see Julia's new disgustingly large apartment after the holidays when things were not so hectic.

Donna had come back into the living room where she found Harvey watching a past Andy Williams' Christmas special that they were showing on PBS. She did not say anything but watched the special and could not remember if her mother had ever mentioned this one to her. Being only in her early 40's she knew who Andy Williams was but could not exactly remember if she ever saw anything first hand. For a moment she watched Andy Williams interact with his children and his then wife through Harvey's eyes. A happy family must seem foreign to him because of how he grew up with an almost always absent father and a mother who never cared one iota about her husband and cheated with any guy she could get.

"Hey, everything ok?" Harvey asked turning around and eyeing her.

"Oh, yes," Donna said trying to recover her composure never realizing how she had lost it in the first place.

"Well, I'm ready to go if you are," Donna said.

"I thought you wanted to stay here for a while? "

"No, I think I would rather stay at your place.."

"I thought you didn't want to stay the night again in my sex infested bed?"

"I'm making an exception, Specter. So do you want to have sex again or are you through with me?"

Harvey jumped of the couch and giving her his best Chesire cat smile said, "I am never done with you. So let's go back to my place." He whispered the last of the statement and kissed her temple on the way back to the door of her apartment.

They arrived back at his condo and immediately Donna curled up on the couch and invited Harvey to sit down next to her. He went into the kitchen instead.

"What are you doing?" Donna asked watching Harvey sort through his almost bare cupboards.

"Do you want to share some cocoa? I think I still have some mix somewhere and I do have some cream and milk. Why don't you find something on the tube to watch or would you rather listen to music?"

"I'm heading for the stereo. We never finished listening to your father's album last night." So Donna rose from the couch and padded in her thick socks to Harvey's stereo controls on the wall. When she hit the button with one perfectly manicured finger, Harvey's apartment filled with sounds of a mellow sax playing "The Christmas Song".

As she returned to the sofa with one leg curled under her, Harvey came to the couch carrying to mugs of hot chocolate smothered in whipped cream.

Harvey sat down next to her and Donna bent down to pick up her hot chocolate.

"Ooo, hot," she said as she started to blow on it. She had managed to get whipped cream on the tip of her nose and Harvey leaned over to her and kissed it off.

"You didn't use all of that, did you?" Donna asked thinking of that _other_ time.

Harvey smiled from ear to ear and chuckled. "Why, are you thinking of doing lascivious things to me with it?"

"Well, one never knows where the Christmas spirit will take us?"

"I love you, Donna." Harvey said becoming serious again. "I want you to know that I love you. You make my days brighter and complete my life in a way that I didn't realize until you weren't there."

Donna's eyes were quickly filling with tears. She put down her mug and laying her hand on Harvey's cheeks said, "That's exactly how I love you, too."  
They kissed and Donna realized that Harvey never opened his Christmas present from her.

"Please Harvey? Please open it. I need to know if you want to take it back," Donna pleaded.

He could refuse her nothing right now and to open this gift was no exception. He alighted from the couch and retrieved the present from the barstool where he had lain his coat when they arrived back from Donna's place earlier.

The box itself was about eight inches square and two inches deep. It was heavy. Harvey had no idea what it was. He slowly removed the large red ribbon and crumpled the green foil wrap. He slipped the lid off the box and was surprised to see a new Scotch decanter and a glass. He lifted the decanter carefully out of the box and saw that his initials were etched on one side. Also in the box was a matching scotch glass also etched with his initials.

"Donna it's beautiful. How did you know I broke my other bottle and decanter." Harvey asked still staring at the beautiful crystal and smiling wide.

"I'm Donna. I just knew." Donna did not want to tell him that she saw the mess in his office after he threw Louis threw his coffee table which was where the decanter and glasses were set. She was also the one that told Gretchen where to purchase the exact same pieces of furniture because Donna had ordered them for Harvey when he became Junior Partner six years previous.

"I don't have anything for you, but I can take you shopping tomorrow and buy whatever you want?"

Donna took Harvey's decanter and made him place it carefully on the table in front of them and then leaned back taking him with her. She felt him put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"You already gave me the best present there is for me," Donna whispered into his ear.

"What's that?" Harvey whispered back knowing her answer but wanting to hear it from her.

"You." She then kissed him deeply.


	8. Chapter 8

It Doesn't Have to Be That Way Chapter 8

The holiday hours left to Donna and Harvey during that Sunday flew by. Donna still insisted that Harvey take her home but the thought of being bereft of the comfort and security of his arms through the night changed her mind. Harvey felt the same way. He never wanted to wake up without her in his arms or within a fingertip's reach. The thought of her not being near him at any time of the day was cutting enough but to know that they could be together now without reservation elevated Harvey's status to the happiest man in the world. So, Donna stayed until Monday. She had had to go back to her apartment again to grab her workclothes and her other toiletries she had forgotten to make sure she was properly dressed for her position without any suspicions from her new boss. She would gently break it to Louis that she was sleeping with her old boss but that it would never interefere with her working for him.

Donna slipped into bed next to Harvey and his arms immediately embraced her. She loved going to sleep feeling Harvey spooned behind her. Harvey was so happy when he felt her in his arms. He was not a cuddler by nature but he had learned in the months that she had gone that the little bit that he had of her was never going to be enough if she ever decided to come back to him. She was his lifeline. He could now go to the office and know that although she no longer worked for him he would see her. She would not necessarily be just outside his office everyday but she would be with him every night. He could survive like that.

All too soon the alarm clanged. Donna slapped the alarm off because it was on her side of the bed and felt for Harvey's arm around her. She patted his hand and said, "Good morning, Mr. Specter. Time to get up."

Harvey snuffled and blew into her shoulder to which Donna giggled.

"Let's take the shower together..." Harvey murmured deeply into her ear.

"Why, Mr. Specter, did you realize that can be considered sexual harrassment?" Donna teased turning over and coming to sit on top of Harvey.

He looked up and held her hips and said, "Depends on the person it's said to."

"Well, in that case...ok."

Donna removed herself from Harvey and he could not remove the covers fast enough to catch up with her.

Donna had quickly slid the glass door shut when she felt the whoosh of air and a pair of arms come behind her. They both stood under the warm water and Harvey started to massage her breasts and kiss her neck. Donna turned around and kissed Harvey deeply. Not being able to be patient while he fueled her fire with his tender ministrations, she grabbed his shoulders and raised her leg. She caressed his backside with her upper thigh and could feel in her spot how ready he was for them to become one. Donna already felt her world starting to collide and come together in him, so ready to feel him inside her again. She kissed his neck and nibbled on his ear to which she was glad to feel him shudder. He was hard so hard that he almost came with just his tip inside her. Finally with one large held breathless kiss between them, Harvey couldn't wait any longer and unintentionally harshly slamming her against the shower wall, he entered Donna and her ankles joined around his waist while they worked on a rhythm coalescing with the drops of spray emanating from the shower adding moisture to their already slick bodies.

"Harvey...Oh my ...!" Donna gasped as Harvey's thrusts became much harder and more rhythmic. She clutched his hair in her hands and kissed him openmouthed letting their breaths intermingle as they were one now.

"Donna...Donna...I love you..." Don't leave me...Huh..." Harvey said in a litany which became fainter and fainter with every deeper breath he took in until finally climaxing and taking her with him.

Smiling at one another in the short afterglow while Harvey held Donna pinned to the shower wall, he shakily and gently allowed her feet to touch down. With lazy kisses and touches gently washed one another knowing that nothing was ever going to be the same between them after this. It was not like that other time. At least it was not for Harvey, he had not acknowledged that he was in love then only knowing that he did not want to be without Donna. Now he fully knew he was in love and wanted no other woman than this one whom he still caressed and kissed in the afterglow of their latest lovemaking session.

For Donna she had known she was in love with Harvey Specter but she knew he was nowhere near ready for a relationship. Now after twelve years and the few months where they had not been in constant contact, she felt he was ready. He had already told her how he loved her and how much he wanted permanence in his life. He was ready. Ready for her, of course, Donna was still not quite sure.

As they finally got dressed, Donna noticed the additional unopened Christmas present which had been in the box with the decanter and glass. She forgot that it existed until just now when he spied it. With the revelations and joy spent the entire weekend, Harvey had not seen this little one to open.

"Hey, Harvey," Donna said as he came out of the bathroom dressed in his armor. He was just putting the finishing touches on his hair when he looked down and Donna had thrust the little wrapped package in front of him.

" What this? Did I miss this one? " He said "I'll do that right now." Knowing he had no choice but to open it now, he took the tiny red wrapped box and quickly unwrapped the paper. Harvey held it up and thinking aloud had asked.

"Where did you find a gold can opener tie clip?" Harvey smiled wide. He was touched that even after the bitterness of her leaving him to work for Louis she had remembered what that can opener ritual meant between them.

"I found it in a store...that's all I'm telling you. It doesn't matter where. Just that I found it. Do you like it?" Donna asked taking the clip from him and placing it halfway down on his salmon colored tie. It was 14 karat gold and no one could tell from a distance that it was shaped like a tiny can opener. She kissed him on the cheek inhaling his aftershave and she immediately felt at home again with him there close to her.

"I love it. Thank you, Donna," Harvey said and kissed her to which she playfully complained that he mussed her lipstick.

"I don't care. I'll do it again."

He did.

Leaving her off at her desk when they arrived at the office, Harvey looked both ways and especially in Louis' office and kissed Donna quickly on the lips. She feigned surprise but then smiled seductively with a "see you later" mouthed on her lips. As soon as she had removed her coat and sat down at her desk she noticed there were three voicemails that had come in during the holiday weekend.

"I can't believe people call their lawyer on a holiday weekend," Donna sighed as she smoothed her skirt under her and began to retrieve the voicemails.

The first two were emergency calls from Louis' most paranoid client. This client had a horrible merger that poor Louis had not recommended but Louis did what the client wanted and Donna should know because she typed and compiled the paperwork packages for signature.

Donna was happily contemplating her weekend with Harvey when a familiar voice was the third voicemail.

 _"Uh, Donna? It's Mitchell. I thought we could talk if I caught you early enough. I didn't get an answer on your cell over the weekend. I guess you were too busy with family..."_

Donna had forgotten that she was going to officially tell him that she was no longer needed or wanted him because she had finally gotten the man she wanted. She thought she owed it to Mitchell because he was really a nice guy and had been a good friend to her during her transition from Harvey's desk to Louis' desk which was so much more than just moving from one boss to another.

"Good morning, Donna. What's on my calendar today?" Louis said making Donna jump a mile. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. The Nielsen contracts are on your desk as Kelly Nielsen should be here in five minutes. At 10:00 am you are due at Joy Bithens and you are free this afternoon for consultations."

"Great. I hope you had a wonderful holiday," Louis said smiling. His was good although he did not see his sister and spent the end of Hanukkah with his parents.

Donna smiled remembering the blissful weekend she had spent in Harvey's arms. She could still feel the kiss he gave her this morning on her cheek and although they had washed thoroughly she could feel and smell the scent of him on her skin.

"Yes, Louis, I had a very nice holiday."

At that moment Kelly Nielsen, a petite blonde woman dressed immaculately in in a dark red Alexander McQueen suit breezed in and Louis took her into his office for their meeting.

The phone rang and Donna picked it up after offering Ms. Nielsen coffee, tea, water, or a soft drink. Ms. Nielsen declined said she was fine so Donna picked up the phone and heard Mitchell's annoyed voice on the other end.

"Do you never pick up your phone at the office?"

"Mitchell? I just got in not 30 minutes ago and I had to get my boss settled. Why do you sound so hostile?"

"I'm sorry. I just want to see you in person and apologize for being an ass and see if we can make it work again."

Donna regretted these words the minute they left her mouth. "How about lunch? I have time between 1:00 and 2:00 pm. Louis should be in consultations the rest of the day."

"Sure. Do you want to meet me at the cafe on 54th?"

"Ok. I have to get back to work, Mitchell. See you then," Donna hung up.

"See you," Mitchell had barely gotten the words out when the phone went click.

"I see someone had a great holiday," Gretchen said as her boss, Harvey, walked by her desk with a smile on his face.

"Yes, I did. How about you? Did you spend it with all of your children and grandchildren?"

Gretchen smiled and was surprised that Mr. Specter was being gregarious and friendly. He was never cold to her but everything had always been business between them and that was just fine with her.

"Why, yes, Mr. Specter, I did. Thank you for asking."

"Now back to business what's first on my calendar..."

Gretchen took Harvey through his day and much to his chagrin there would be no time for him to sneak down to Donna's desk and talk with her. So when he got into his office and sat down at his desk. He decided to text her quickly.

HI!

I'm so glad I spent my Xmas with u. Did u tell Louis yet?

Love to have lunch with u but can't...

See ya later

Luv

Harvey

Donna texted back:

Missing me already? That's ok. Having lunch with Mitch

to say it's really over. No, Louis does not know yet.

See ya later

Luv

Donna


	9. Chapter 9

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 9

Donna sat across from Mitchell, a tall, strongly built, square jawed handsome man like Harvey with bright blonde hair and bright blue eyes to match with dimples who smiled and laughed at something Donna said. As he reached across the food strewn table to take Donna's hand in his, she quickly removed it from his reach and placed it underneath the table on her lap.

"What's wrong, Donna?"

"Mitch, I am only here to let you know that when you broke up with me on Christmas Eve I met up with Harvey and he finally told me he loved me and how he loved me. We spent all Christmas weekend at his condo."

There, Donna said it. She was quick about it because she did not want to give this good man a song and dance. She just wanted to be straight with him as she always had been from the start.

Mitchell's strong jaw clenched and he bowed his head. He was trying hard not to fume at this beautiful woman whom he had wanted to marry and had planned to ask her this past holiday weekend. Of course, the break up over Christmas Eve had just been Mitchell's cold feet. He had never wanted a woman like he wanted Donna Paulsen.

"Donna? Why? Two minutes away from me, Harvey finally states his case 12 years too late and you're still willing to jump into his arms! I thought that was why you left his desk so there would be space between you and him allowing you to live without him! I can see that that was not a serious thought at all!"

"Mitchell, calm down," Donna said almost raising her voice herself. "Well, leaving Harvey's desk involved a lot more than just having a new boss. I thought I had explained this to you."

"Yes, you did but I thought your feelings had changed for him in light of our relationship."

"As much as I wanted those feelings to evaporate and reformalize into that something stronger than they were, I was sadly mistaken. She paused and lowered her head deciding how best to explain her feelings of love for Harvey to Mitchell.

She then simply said, "I love him. I am in love with him and I always have been. Believe me, Mitchell, I never wanted to hurt you. I never saw this coming. I thought I could go on without him, but do you know how hard it has been for me when he would not even acknowledge me as his friend? A couple of weeks ago, we had dinner on our "coming to his desk" anniversary which we always celebrated at Del Posto."

"What? You used to celebrate when you came to his desk? I have a secretary, too, but I don't take her out on her anniversary when she came to work for me. I treat her as my employee. I give her flowers and a nice lunch on Secretary's Day. I don't celebrate personal things with her!" Mitchell fumed. He was furious. Apparently, Donna had never given him the whole story of her relationship with Harvey.

"No, most bosses don't do that. Harvey and I were always different. Harvey never made it a secret that it was partly due to me working for him why he has had so much success."

Mitchell slammed down his napkin and said," I bet you slept with him a long time ago and this is where it has led you! Waiting for a man who never remembered you were a woman until two nights ago!'

Donna bowed her head and wiped a tear beginning to fall. Mitchell was so close to the actual truth that it made her feel pathetic. It was she that told Harvey that long ago "day after" to never mention the "other time". It was not all Harvey's fault. She instituted that rule to protect herself. In the end protect herself from what? Harvey was Harvey and he was no way ready for a relationship, so he would have slept around no matter what they had agreed on during that morning after conversation so long ago.

"Harvey only stayed away because of what I said. I instituted a rule because I did not want to wind up one of his dependables if he had the itch. It was an "out" for me because he was nowhere near ready when we slept together. It only happened the one time!"

She hated hurting this man who had treated her as a woman should be treated and made her feel special which Harvey had been unable or unwilling to do until this past weekend. Donna had many similar experiences with other men who did not understand and did not like her complicated relationship with someone who should just be regarded as a boss and nothing else.

"Donna, I know Harvey's type. Now that he has had you he'll go on and forget all about you again."

"You don't know him as well as I do Mitch. Down deep Harvey is a loyal person and he has always loved me. He just has had a lot of personal issues to work through before he would allow himself to acknowledge and allow this. Lord knows, I have tried to get him to fight for what was in his heart whether he loved me or some other woman. I just want to see him happy. He really is a decently good man."

"He's a lawyer, Donna. I don't know Harvey that well, but I know his reputation. He's a dick!"

Donna laughed and smiled and looking away agreed with Mitchell. Then she said, "Yes, he is a dick. But he is my dick! However, he is a good man with a big heart. He just doesn't like to be perceived that way. Do you actually think that I would be stupid to work for a man that I didn't know underneath?"

Mitchell had to laugh at that one and then just shook his head.

"Well, I suppose my pleading will do nothing to help, will it? Mitchell said with his blue eyes staring into Donna's dark hazel ones.

Donna remained silent and took Mitch's hand in hers. "I'm sorry. I did not want to hurt you like this, but when Harvey finally made his intentions clear and I thought we were over, I found him waiting for me. I know you may think he's an asshole, but we have always had a complicated but good relationship. I didn't use you if you are thinking that. I genuinely care for you. I never thought that Harvey would acknowledge any feeling let alone anything for me."

"Your feelings for me are just not the same. I understand." Mitchell rose from the table and bending over the plates and being sure he did not catch his tie on fire over the candelight kissed Donna on the forehead. He put a finger under her chin and said:

"If Harvey doesn't go through with marrying you now, you call me. I'll set him straight."

Donna smiled and bowed her head.

When Donna arrived back at the office, she found a note from Louis itemizing what he needed for the next day. He was out and about on consultations and seeing clients across a table. Luckily she had anticipated Louis' needs as she was the one who had arranged his schedule. The files were already in her staging area and all she needed to do was type the documents Louis had requested.

As Donna began to type fiercely and swiftly, she noticed a shadow come over the back of her causing her computer screen to darken. Swiftly two hands engulfed her waist and held her tightly. Already knowing who it was, she placed her hand on top of both of his and addressed her captor.

"Harvey, what are people going to say?"

"It's my firm. I don't care. If I want to squeeze my girl I will do it," Harvey emphasized by squeezing her ribs and kissing her neck traveling down until she squeaked and placed a gently restraining hand on the side of his face.

"I want you now..." Harvey growled deeply in his throat thinking of the incredible Christmas holiday where they had spent the majority rolling around in his big bed making love. Then quickly spotting the managing partner coming towards Louis' office, Harvey quickly released Donna, reluctantly, of course.

"Jessica," Donna said.

"Donna...Harvey," Jessica said raising an eyebrow but saying nothing as she had noticed how quickly Harvey had let go of Donna.

"Jessica," Harvey said.

"Well, now that we all know each other. Donna, what time will Louis be back? I need to consult with him on a client."

"He's not due back until after 5 today. He has consultations and client meetings all day," Donna answered sufficiently simultaneously feeling her complexion rise to the color of her hair.

Before Jessica walked away, she smiled at Harvey and said, "When you're done canoodling with your partner's secretary, stop by my office."

Harvey smirked at Donna and then said, "I will be there in five."

When Jessica turned and walked back towards her office, Donna said, "I suppose she's going to want an explanation."

"Maybe not. I'm name partner, too, you know."

"Harvey..."

"How did your lunch go with Mitchell?"

"Fine. He understood. He also issued you a warning," Donna said continuing to type as Harvey took a seat behind her on the edge of her desk.

"Warning? What for?"

"In case you decide to dump me," Donna answered a little smugly.

"Well, that's not gonna happen! You just tell Mitch that I don't play nicely with others or share."

"Ok, Harvey," Donna then turned around and laying her hand playfully on Harvey's thigh said, "You better go see Jessica and let me get back to work or Jessica won't be the only one you will have to placate." It was one of the first times at the firm where she touching him had become easy and natural. Just like him coming over to give her an affectionate squeeze.

Harvey rolled his eyes and pecked Donna's lips. "See you later."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Well, I rated this M because I am trying to write erotically and with a harsh subject matter. You will see why in the coming chapters. There's a little taste right here. The last part when Harvey and Donna are in the limo was inspired by that limo scene in No Way Out movie with Kevin Costner made in the 1980s. HOpe you enjoy this...let me know. Thank you to my followers and favers - carebearmaxi**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way Chapter 10

Donna finished typing and arranging Louis' schedule for the next day and since it was now five o'clock she thought she would see how much longer it would be before Harvey came to her place that night. She also could not wait to hear what Jessica had to say about what she saw earlier in the afternoon.

"Hey Gretchen," Donna said as she saw Gretchen sitting at her old desk typing away.

"Hey, Red. Looks like you and Harvey finally got it together...mmhmmm. I knew he had that smile on his face for a reason," Gretchen said eyeing Donna suspiciously.

"Well, how do you know it was me? I mean Harvey does get some now and again and sometimes it's good and sometimes it isn't. I could always tell."

"Nah, you're not dazzling me with that bullshit. There's only one woman that could put that smile on his face and I may not have been here long but I'm not dumb. Hell, everyone in the entire office knows how much you love one another."

Donna laughed and said, "Yes, it was me. We spent the whole weekend together."

"That's wonderful. What happened to the "other guy"? Gretchen asked.

Donna was surprised that Gretchen even knew about Mitchell.

"You mean Mitchell?"

"Was that his name? I thought it may have been spawn of Satan the way Harvey carried on when he saw him that time."

Donna laughed. "Well, let's just say. Mitchell broke up with me and Harvey stepped in and finally took care of business."

Gretchen smiled and said, "I suppose you want to know when he'll be free."

"Yes, of course, although I do like talking to you, Gretch," Donna said smiling.

"Of course, you do. He said to me about a half an hour because he had "plans"."

"Thank you, Gretchen. I'm going to go down the street to the liquor store and pick out something special. I'll be back in a few minutes."

With that Donna left the office determined to either drink with Harvey there or bringing him back to her place for a little unwinding.

After Mitchell left the restaurant leaving Donna to pay for their lunch, Mitchell did a little fuming. He was not a man given to forgiving and forgetting. He held grudges. Just ask his ex-wife. He was never giving that bitch the time of day let alone any type of alimony no matter how much she said she deserved it.

Mitchell had returned to his office at the ad agency and slammed the door to his office making his secretary jump a mile in her seat. He did not care what anyone thought of his behavior. He was a partner and did not need any one's permission to be mad and to react on it.

Unlike the offices at PSL, Hendrikson, Nibian, and Associates' offices were constructed of paneled walls over concrete. So whatever went on in Mitch's office was known only to him. Mitchell's awards and degrees shook when he slammed his office door and plopped himself in his custom made lumbar support chair.

"How dare she use me like that? She used me no matter what she said. She doesn't understand that Harvey will dump her now that he has had her again. He was just trying to comfort her after I dumped her on Christmas Eve. How could a man like that love her? He doesn't know what love is..." On and on he ranted aloud, throwing his phone and other lose objects in his office. Mitchell had anger management issues that far outweighed any that Harvey ever had.

Harvey may have had anger issues and issues with his mother, but he would never hit a woman. Unknown to Donna, Mitchell had anger issues which led him to beat up various women who had come into his life and made him miserable. It's a shame that Donna had never spoken to Mitchell's ex-wife. Then, of course, she couldn't. Mitchell's ex-wife had been left physically handicapped after he deliberately threw her from their fourth floor apartment which shattered her pelvis and severed a few of her vertebrae leaving her in a wheelchair the rest of her life.

Donna returned to the building and noticed that Ray was out front.

"Hey, Donna! Merry Christmas!"

Donna opened the car door and took a seat next to Ray in the front seat.

"Harvey call you?"

"Yep, said he was going to your place tonight. I am very happy for the boss and you."

"Thank you, Ray. We are happy for us, too. I hope you and your family had a great Christmas. All seven of you."

"Oh, yes, we had a great time. How did you know I have five kids?"

"Come on, you know, I'm Donna. I know everything."

"Yes, I guess you do."

There was a knock on the window and Ray was embarrassed because there was Harvey waiting for the door to be unlocked.

"Well, I thought for a moment I had the wrong car. Thank you for unlocking the door. Donna..come back here with me. Thanks for keeping her warm, Ray," Harvey joked.

Donna grabbed her bottle of wine and then waited while Harvey held the door open for her and then he entered the car on the other side. When he finally closed the door he rose the glass partition between the front and back seats, so Ray would not be able to spy on them.

The interior of the car was all black and the windows were tinted very dark, so no one could peer into the back of the car.

Getting into the car and closing the door, Harvey could feel Ray pulling away from the curb. Giving her an unbelievable sexy look, Harvey said, "Well, hello, Ms. Paulsen." He pulled her into his arms and they started kissing. Suddenly Harvey felt something between them.

"Is that a bottle or are you just happy to see me?"

Donna picked up the bottle of wine between them and said, "Sorry about that. I just thought we deserved something special tonight." Harvey examined the bottle and smirked. I guess this is special "Bottled 1986" . Thirty years ago. That's special all right. We were 6 years old when this was bottled."

Rolling her eyes at Harvey's comment she placed the bottle next to her on the floor.

Deciding to return the favor, Donna kissed Harvey back opening her mouth and allowing her tongue inside his mouth; simultaneously, Donna ran her hand down Harvey's suit, undoing his jacket button and then felt how glad he was to see her.

"Is that a roll of quarters in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" Donna asked in a deep voice filled with lust for her guy. She glanced again at the opaque glass separating Ray from them. Donna decided to take the initiative and removed her 4" Louboutins and then removed her thigh high hose from her garter belt. She then was able to remove her matching black lace thong that she had worn underneath. She then rose on her knees and sat on one of Harvey's thighs letting him feel how badly she needed him.

"I want you to fuck me right here," Donna said breathily into Harvey's ears which she felt gave him chills. Just the response she was looking for. His neck when she kissed him and gently suckled was covered in gooseflesh. She writhed on his thigh as she ran her hand down and unbuttoned Harvey's pants and ran her hand underneath the band of his boxers. She could feel his hardness and then with her whole hand she grasped his scrotum and gently massaged his testicles and Harvey signed heavily and moaned and maneuvered his pants to his ankles and then kicked them away. Donna pushed his boxers down finally freeing Harvey's pulsing erection.

Harvey removed his jacket, vest and tie, using the last as a rope and pulling Donna gently but fiercely toward him. As he slowly released the tie he bent Donna back and allowed his hands on a path to find Donna's garter belt. He pulled the lacy black garter belt down kissing and sucking her all the way until her bottom was no longer covered. With his hands and his lips he maneuvered her dress over her hips sliding her legs apart finding his mouth was close to her opening.

"You are so ready..." he murmured huskily wanting to just bury himself deep within her confines and feel her muscles enclose his shaft.

"I want your mouth first," Donna whispered as she rose and kissed Harvey on the mouth sucking on his bottom lip and then guiding his head with her hand down to her womanly core.

"Far be it from me not to do as the lady asks... however, I want to see all of you," Harvey said removing Donna's dress over her head and then seeing she was wearing a lacey black bra which luckily hooked in the front. Undoing the hooks, Donna's considerable breasts sprung free. Her nipples already erect, Harvey massaged and suckled her breasts as Donna and he moaned with anticipation. As he kissed and massaged her breasts, Harvey spread Donna's labia open further with his thumb and felt how warm and moist she was. He could no longer ignore her request. He lowered his head spreading her thighs apart began to suck and lick and thrust his tongue up and down her clitoris and into her. He knew she was already wet but now she was dripping.

"Oh,...shh...Harvey!" Donna sucked in a breath with the tantalizing things he was doing with just his mouth. She bit her bottom lip trying not to be loud in her shattering. Donna almost came once with just his tongue doing fantastic things, and now she felt Harvey's hand just massage along her clit and then his finger massaging her inside and then darting in and out.

"Harvey..."she moaned. " I want you inside me...fuck me!"

"I'm gonna fuck you right now," Harvey said simultaneously as he thrust deeply inside her. Both gasped and then groaning as Harvey slowly moved inside Donna. Donna could not get Harvey any deeper into her. Harvey could not get any deeper into her. He was balls deep and would have gone farther if the nature of their bodies had allowed it. Her legs were spread wide apart, giving him full access, and she loved holding his shapely ass as close to herself as possible. She wanted to control his thrusting and she was so close and could feel that he was, too. Suddenly, he stopped knowing that he was cumming and did not want to yet.

"Straddle me," Harvey instructed her, so she climbed on top of him moaning with pleasure as she took the full length of him into her and then rode him loving the feeling of his shaft up and down while the movement of the car added to the thrill. She held onto his shoulders and both continued to kiss and nip each other. She stopped for one moment so they could look into each others' eyes. Harvey's eyes were so warm with love for her and Harvey saw her eyes reflected all the ectasy they were sharing being together as one at this moment. Harvey sat back on the seat and intertwined Donna's fingers with his which allowed Donna some controlled of their rhythm with her leg muscles.

"Harvey...can you feel it...I'm cumming..." Heavy deep breaths coming from her. Her breasts were heaving and bouncing with the effort.

She threw her head back and moaned and while still joined they fell onto the floor reversing their positions. Harvey now lay on top feeling incredibly safe within the confines of her sugar walls. As for Donna, feeling the wheel vibration underneath her and Harvey on top inside her was an incredibly sensual sensation doubling Donna's soon coming orgasm.

Harvey felt her clenching his shaft and he knew she was close but then so was he. He whispered to her, "Baby I'm cumming...where do you want it?"

"Inside me..." Donna whispered back with one hand cradling Harvey's head and the other hand her nails digging into his backside. Her legs were wrapped around his hips and she cried out with Harvey's release.

With one last thrust, he emptied himself into her completely spent.

They collapsed together still joined and then Harvey looked down at Donna and she looked up into his incredible deep brown eyes. She lost herself in those eyes. Tenderly Harvey lowered himself on his elbows with his arms surrounding Donna's face.

"I love you, Donna. I will never let anything happen to you...ever."

"I love you, Harvey." Gently they kissed and then decided that the car ride probably ended a while ago and that Ray was just waiting until he felt the rocking stop.

Totally spent and reluctant to separate their conjoined bodies, Harvey rose and as he helped her up and they retrieved their clothing, Donna asked, "Do you mean to tell me I'm the first woman you've had sex with in here?"

Harvey kissed her as she helped him reclasp his belt. "You're the first woman I have ever wanted to have sex with in here."

The car was still moving and when Donna and he were finally dressed again she came to sit next to him. He stroked her face and kissed her again.

"You are also the first woman I have ever ejaculated into without a condom."

Donna was trying to think of that long ago "other time" and thought if that was what happened previously with him. No they made sure he had a condom last time even though Donna had been on the pill and they knew basically what type of people with whom they had been . Donna always knew Harvey was safe and so was she.

Donna smiled at Harvey and kissed him looking at him with a inquisitive look, "So what does that mean? Should I be flattered or scared?"

Harvey smiled and tilted his head as he did when he wanted her to figure out the answer.

"Ok, well, I am going to take that as a compliment. Don't worry, Harvey. I didn't sleep with Mitchell. I haven't had sex in a long while before the other day. Also I'm still on the pill, so I don't think I'll be getting pregnant from this either."

"I didn't not say anything for you to think of it that way. It is definitely a compliment. You are the only one from now on. I don't even care if you get pregnant,but please don't push it yet." Harvey cautioned and then pulled her close to him and kissed her long and slow.

The car had finally stopped and Ray had waited a discretionary time before knocking and opening the door. Ray was no dummy. Instinctively, he knew the boss was so much in love with Donna that they could not wait until they got to her place. When he did open the door Harvey's tie was missing and his shirt was unbuttoned and Donna's hair had become a rat's nest and her makeup had been mussed.

"Will you be needing me the rest of the night, Harvey?" Ray asked wondering if Harvey was going to spend the night.

"No, I'm good. Go home and make love to your wife," Harvey said smiling as he and Donna proceeded to her apartment.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hang in there. This chapter is just a fluffy filler. Stay tuned for Chapter 12 when action happens.**

 **Thank you for the reviews and following. You don't know how much I appreciate it. - carebearmaxi**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 11

Harvey awoke feeling the other side of the bed seeking her warmth. After that most incredible sex filled car ride over to her apartment, they just took the party upstairs to her place and finally spent collapsed in each other's arms in bed. Harvey eyed the alarm clock sitting on the other side of the bed on the nightstand. It read 7:00 A.M.

"Donna?"

"Get up, Specter, we have to be at work in an hour. Ray will be here in an half hour," Donna said crawling back in bed snuggling up to Harvey's naked body. Donna was already dressed and ready for work. She was always up early because most days she did her yoga workout before she would shower and be ready for work by 7:30 am.

Harvey opened his eyes and said, "What's the rush?"

"If we both don't show up until 9:00 am, the rumor mill will really start churning."

Harvey kissed her. "I don't care. I'm a name partner. I can do whatever the hell I want. What I want now is to ravish my girlfriend."

Donna put a restraining hand up to temporarily stop Harvey in his tracks. She lowered her head and looking into Harvey's beautiful deeply brown eyes and asked, "Am I?"

Harvey thought that line of questioning was weird considering how intimate they had been these last few days and how he told her of his feelings. "What do you mean?"

"I just want to be sure if this is a permanent thing between us now. I also do not want to be jealous if you decide you get the itch for someone else."

"Donna, it is way too early in the morning for me to have a serious emotional dicussion. Let me just say that I meant every word I have ever said to you from Christmas on. You are mine now and I don't want anyone or anything spoiling this. So, don't worry. I love you and nothing will change that. I'm not sure what path we will take but I'm not losing you again to anybody or anything."

"Ok, Harvey, I love you, too, so much. However, as much as I want to jump back in this bed with you and make love all day, we have to go to work." She handed him a cup off coffee which he did not see her bring in and then getting out of bed completely picked one of his suits from her closet.

"Where did that come from?" Harvey said still lying in bed just admiring her walking around the room.

"You don't think I didn't think ahead of time hoping you spend the night?" Donna said facing him lifting her one eyebrow with a _you've got to be kidding, right_ look.

"Of course. I should by now. That's why I love you. You get me."

He rose from the warmth of the bed and shuffled over to where she held his suit and kissed her cheek and then proceeded into her small bathroom to take a shower.

When they arrived at Pearson Specter Litt, Louis met Donna at the door of the building.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Then he saw Harvey closely following Donna through the revolving door.

In a calmer voice, Louis intensely told Donna, "Donna, I need to talk with you upstairs."

Harvey then kissed Donna on the lips in front of Louis. Harvey smiled his victory smile and could not help staring at Louis' shocked face.

"Uh...Harvey...Oh Shit!" Louis then quickly turned around and then looking like there was a rod up his ass proceeded to the bank of elevators.

"Harvey! You are such a dick! Now I will have to explain to Louis the meaning of that lovely, sweet kiss you just gave me . You know him. I'm going to have to lay it on the line that we are now "finally" I am glad to say in a relationship."

"So you enjoyed that little gesture," said smug Harvey. Donna rolled her eyes knowing full well that that's what he would notice in her sentence to him.

"Look, I don't give a shit about Louis. You are mine after 5:00 pm. So as long as you are still working for him why should he care?"

Donna gave him a withering look.

Harvey patted her hand and said, "I know. If you need help just let me know or I'll tell him myself."

Of course the shit hit the proverbial fan when Donna arrived at her desk. Harvey kissed her again and then began the walk to his own office.

"Donna!" Louis called loudly and sternly noticing she was finally at her desk. Donna plopped her things down and immediately and intrepidly walked into Louis' office. Donna did not really need not apologize for who she was or explain her relationship to Louis but he did deserve at least a reassurance that she was staying at his desk and not returning to Harvey's for work. When she came in she immediately sat at the chair across from his desk.

"Ok, I want to lay down some ground rules because it seems you are playing twiddly-winks with Harvey. I just want you to know that you still work for me and if you don't like something that's too bad. You can't run to Harvey."

"Louis, don't be a such a dick. Of course, I still work for you. Harvey and I finally found our way together on a personal basis. But that doesn't mean that he wants me back professionally. Besides I always had a rule that I don't get involved with men I work with. I am no longer his secretary, so the rule no longer applies."

Louis attained a smug look on his face. "Just give me my schedule."

Donna handed him his schedule by memory and showed him the location of the files for his schedule on his desk.

In the meantime Harvey found Jessica in his office. Jessica had one of those _you're late for class_ looks on her face. She sat comfortably on his couch with her legs crossed tapping an unheard rhythm on the arm.

"I always thought that if you and Donna ever got your shit together, her good habits would run off on you. I see it's the other way around."

"What's that supposed to mean? Donna and I happen to be on time."

"Well, yes, Harvey Specter time. She normally appears at 7:30 am sharp and both of you are here now at 8:30 am."

Harvey said, "Stop looking at me as if I was late for class. Donna and I finally become a couple so it spilled a little over into the workday. She's still going to work for Louis and I will continue to do my work. I don't understand this grilling. It is our firm, is it not?"

Jessica stood up and crossed her arms in front of her and eyed Harvey, "I couldn't be happier for you and she but just watch it. Louis will be more paranoid than ever and afraid that Donna will go back and work for you."

Harvey smiled. "Look, I don't give a shit about Louis, but I do care for Donna and if she decided to come back and work for me Louis can't do anything about it. Besides one of the reasons why we never became a couple before was because Donna had this staunch rule that I was dumb enough to follow. The rule is that she never becomes involved with men she works with. Don't worry about Louis. I'll take care of him if he gives anyone any trouble."

"Ok, Harvey, but if I am bothered by this situation on more than a superficial level, I will be back in this office and pull rank on you."

Harvey just rolled his eyes. "Thank you, mom. Donna is the best thing that ever happened to me and I know that now. So, I'm going to continue to date her."

Jessica murmured an "uh-huh" under her breath and strode out of Harvey's office on her five inch Jimmy Choo stilettos.

When lunch rolled around, Harvey came to Donna's desk to give her the bad news that they could not spend the night together again as he would be locked up in an imperative partner's meeting that was not to start until 7:00 pm.

"I don't want you to wait for me because you know how long these things can drag on. Just call Ray to take you home tonight. Then I will be with him tomorrow to come get you for work in the am."

"I wondered why Louis was pacing around like a palace guard. This meeting is probably about the rumored merger of the firm with an Arizona firm to help bolster our dwindling clientele and finances," Donna mentioned to Harvey.

Harvey smiled on one side of his mouth giving Donna that he could not believe how she knew what she knew. Then he spotted Louis and realized that Donna's present boss was one of the best financially legal minds in the country. He then kissed her lightly on the cheek and went back to his office.

Later in the day, Donna looked at her watch after she had stopped typing another large voluminus document for Louis. Her watch read 6:00 pm in beaming red digital numbers. Donna rubbed her eyes to wipe the weariness from them and then turned to take a gander from Louis' window. The late December evening was dark although the lights of the tall buildings pierced holes in the darkness like a canvas that had seen better days.

"Hey," Rachel said as she passed by Donna's desk. "How was your Christmas?" She asked although Donna's shining smile gave it all way. "It was that good?"

"Yes, it was. How about you?"

"Yes, indeed, we spent most of it alone in our apartment. My parents came over for the little bit on the holiday and we exchanged gifts and then they left early."

Waiting for a few minutes before she continued, "So, I hear you and Harvey are finally together."

"Who says?"

"Let's put it this way. He's smiling from ear to ear and he has made about a 100 trips to give you a peck on the cheek and you are smiling from ear to ear and look for him every time you see a shadow near your desk."

Donna pretended to be sternly upset and then she smiled and rivaled the fluorsecent lights in the office with its wattage.

"Yes, we are a couple now. Harvey has definitely grown up. At last we are together, taking one step at a time, and we are in love."

Rachel jumped up and down in her enthusiasm. "I'm so happy for you. Now I don't have to feel so bad when I talk about Mike and me. We'll have to double date sometime."

"I'm not sure about that yet, Rach."

"So are you going to be alone tonight since Harvey will be at the partners' meeting?"

"Isn't Mike in the meeting as well? He is a junior partner after all."

"Yep, so I'm going home alone, too. However, I have to stop at my mother's house first. We have the caterer bringing food choices for wedding reception."

"Oh, that sounds interesting. I am just going home, take a hot bath and watch a couple of TV shows I recorded. This will be the first night I will get some real rest since Harvey and I got together, you know what I mean?"

Rachel smiled conspiratorially with Donna. "Of course, I know what you mean. You must be making up for lost time. Well, I am happy for you and Harvey. I'll see you tomorrow."

When Rachel left, Donna finished cleaning her desk for the day and preparing for the morning. She put on her pink woolen coat and scarf and waited outside for a cab because she did not want to take advantage of Ray now that she was Harvey's girlfriend.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: This chapter is where action happens. This was another reason why I rated it M. Please review. I like to know if I am making sense. Thank you - carebearmaxi**.

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Ch 12

This time it seemed a short trip to her apartment and she could not stop thinking of the previous night's car ride in the town car with Harvey. She squeezed her thighs together relieving some of the feeling that emanated between her legs when she thought of Harvey and his skill as a lover and how wonderful she felt in the knowledge that he was finally all hers.

The cab stopped, paid the driver, and walked the two floors up to her apartment. Unlocking the door, she, at once, cursed herself for not remembering to leave a light on so it was not pitch dark when she arrived home. She tred carefully, so she would not trip, to the other side of the room to turn on a light. Turning around after the room became illuminated she saw a man standing on the other side of the closed door.

"Mitchell? How did you get in? I don't remember giving you a key."

"Your neighbor let me in. She had not forgotten that I had been here a couple of times. I told her I was your brother. Not too far from the truth since you never wanted to have sex with me although we were together for over two months. Now, I know why. You didn't want me. You used me to make him jealous."

Donna took off her pink overcoat and said, "Mitchell know that's not why we never slept together. I thought I had explained the reasons at lunch yesterday. I was not using you. I just thought I should sleep with you when all I thought of was you. Not when I still had Harvey in my head and heart. It just happened. I did explain my relationship with Harvey to you. You knew how much I loved him."

Donna noticed the strained harrowing look on Mitchell's face. She had never such a cruel look on anyone's face before let alone Mitchell who always seemed the gentle type. The look was almost ogre like: possessive and ominous as if he meant to do her harm. His jaw was clenched and his normally blue bedroom eyes were especially hooded and cold, icy, and unfeeling.

He moved toward her and she immediately backed up but fell onto her pristine white couch.

"Donna, just give me a chance. I can make you change your mind about Harvey. He's a no good son of a bitch and he will leave you wants he gets tired of you. He just hasn't had you for a good long time and he can't get anyone else right now so he wants to play on your feelings."

Mitchell sat down next to Donna and grabbed her arm gripping it tightly.

"Mitchell let go of my arm. You're hurting me. Harvey is a good man. Not like you think. I thought I had explained it to you. I love him and he loves me. I think we finally see a chance for happiness after all our years of longing," Donna argued all the while trying to break free from Mitchell's considerate grip.

Mitchell never let go of Donna and her last mention of her newfound happiness with Harvey Specter he crashed his mouth on top of hers in a cruel painful kiss. He tried to get her mouth open and give her his tongue, but she fought for air and said, "Mitchell, stop! If you don't...police!" She slapped him on his cheek and in retaliation he punched her in the face.

Donna saw stars and fought to get away to find something with which to hit him. She managed to get up from the couch and tried to escape from his reach but he grabbed her ankle and she hit the floor with a thud.

"You'll listen to me bitch! You're going to see what you're missing with Harvey fuckin' Specter. You will want me back."

Donna frightened backed up from Mitchell by scooting on her elbows, but Mitchell was too fast and undid his belt and unzipped his pants and pulling down his pants and boxers set his erection free. He was so turned on not only by the fact that he had never had Donna but that now she was fighting him. The sick bastard was turned by Donna's fighting him. It just made Mitchell more eager to reach his goal. He still maintained a grip on Donna. He had pinioned one thigh with both of his. He took his one hand and put it over Donna's mouth so she could not scream.

Donna had seen his erection and knew what his intentions were.

"Mmm, just what I like thigh highs and a garter belt," Mitchell pulled up Donna's full skirt giving him easy access to remove her underclothes and exposing her lower body. Donna had continued to back up although Mitchell still maintained a grip. She felt her head hit the wall and she knew she could go no further.

Mitchell then took his belt and whelped her lower body with it as if to spank her for misbehaving and not enjoying what he was doing. He again took his belt and whelped her across the other side of her body catching her cheek which drew blood.

Donna had inadvertently scooted herself next to one of her end tables. Noticing that, Mitchell took his belt and placed Donna's wrists together and bound them around the leg of the table with his belt.

"No...no...Mitchell...please. If Harvey finds out he will kill you!"

"Enough of Harvey, whore! No one will want you after I'm through with you. I should have known you were Harvey's bitch. That's why you stayed with him all those years. You were his whore and when you finally got tired of it you told him goodbye."

Mitchell punched her again as punishment for mentioning Harvey again. This time in the eye. Donna tried to kick him with her strong legs because her hands were so tightly bound.

Mitchell stopped her long flailing legs by grabbing one foot in each hand and fought to spread her legs wide apart. Donna fought Mitchell's grasp by tightening her thighs, but Mitchell was a strong man physically. He was bigger built than Harvey and Donna wondered why she never noticed that about him before. Donna was not giving up without a fight. She managed to get one foot free which only delayed the inevitable. She kicked him in the face which only infuriated Mitchell's addled brain.

"Stop it whore or I will have to knock you out completely and then you won't enjoy this at all."

He grabbed her feet again and was this time successful in spreading her knees apart and proceeded to thrush into her harshly. Donna tried to scream but to no avail. Tears were streaming down her face and stinging the cut to her cheek and her eye was swelling up so badly she could barely see.

"Oh...you feel so good... How's that baby?" Mitchell said lost in his own activity.

Donna managed to croak one last time, "Mitchell please get off me. Don't make me call the police on you."

"Oh, come on, Harvey can't service you like this."

Donna bit her lip and Mitchell thrust into her harder. Finishing up and sighing with contentment for himself and fondling one of Donna's breasts which had come free when he ripped her clothes. He tried to become hard again swiftly because he wanted it again.

Just when Donna thought he was finished he thrust hard into her again, but this time before he could attain another orgasm, Mitchell became soft and fell out of Donna's body. He blamed Donna for his stamina problem and pummeled her already bruised ribs and back with blows. Bending back on his knees trying to arouse himself by playing with his member, Donna took this opportunity to kick him in the forehead which knocked him out. She reached up and was able with shaking fingers to undo the belt finally freeing her hands. She was able to sit up and painfully holding her ribs came to her feet and pulled down her torn dress and stood over Mitchell who lay on the floor with his pants open and now flaccid penis just hanging there. She fought down her nausea, found her purse, and her cell phone and dialed 911. She then texted Rachel and Mike. Rachel texted that she would come right over. Donna so badly wanted to text Harvey but he was in that emergency partners' meeting, and she did not want him to get on Jessica's bad side again. Harvey may have been a name partner but Jessica carried the big guns that managed the firm.

A few minutes later, the police came just in time for Mitchell regained consciousness.

After she gave her statement to the police officer, he said she would have to go to the hospital for an exam and treatment of her cuts and bruises and submit to a rape exam. They offered to take her themselves but by then Rachel had arrived and said she would take Donna in her own car and follow them to St. Vincent's Hospital.

"First thing I'm doing is texting Harvey and pulling him out of that meeting," Rachel said to an almost catatonic Donna.

Donna's hand restrained Rachel's hand. "Please, Rache, don't do that," she managed from her swollen lip.

"I don't want him to know yet."

"Ok, I won't yet, but he loves you and would kill me if I don't tell him. When you get finished from the hospital, we're going back to your apartment and I'm staying with you and calling Harvey. You need him not only as your boyfriend but as your lawyer. He can help press charges."

"Ms. Paulsen, please lie back so we can start the pelvic exam for the rape kit," the nurse said trying to be gentle and kind.

Rachel took Donna's hand and helped her lie back and put her feet in the stirrups. The nurses and aids had examined her swollen eye, her bleeding cheek and taped her ribs. One rib had cracked making it painful for Donna to breathe. Her torso had just started to discolor with the punches that Mitchell had made to it while he assaulted her.

Donna sucked in a breath as it was painful as she was torn in her womanly regions and the scraping for evidence didn't help. She turned her tear stained bruised face to Rachel.

"Don't tell Harvey. I don't want him to know. He'll judge me and think I was cheating on Mitchell with him. You know how he has loyalty issues. I know he forgave me for going to Louis to work but this is different."

"No, honey, Harvey can't be that blind, I'm sure. Especially where you're concerned. He would defend you to the ends of the earth. He loves you very much. Remember what he did when he thought you would be going to prison? I know Harvey can be a lot of things, but you know who he is inside and we all know from you and Mike that hidden down deep is decent man who believes in justice and who would instinctively know that no woman deserves this...not even his mother."

Rachel wiped Donna's tears from her cheeks and tried to clean up her smeared makeup.

"All finished, Ms. Paulsen. I know that was not easy, but we got everything we needed. You may get up now," said the doctor. The doctor, a woman, observed Donna's body one more time and noted aloud.

"The bruises are starting to come out. I am getting you an icepack and see if the police will need anything else from you. If not, I will send the nurse back in here telling you can go home."


	13. Chapter 13

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 13

When Rachel got Donna home, they sat on her couch. At the hospital, they had to take Donna's clothes as evidence, so Rachel had made sure that Donna quickly changed from the spare clothes the hospital had given her.

"Throw them away. I don't ever want to see them again," Donna instructed. Rachel did as she was bid and put them in a bag away from Donna's sight.

Donna sat on her couch huddled in a blanket; to her disgust, all she could do was cry. Her one black eye was swollen and almost completely shut. Her other eye constantly teared, and it was red and swollen with crying. The cheek where Mitchell hit her with the belt was only a scrape and had not required stitches, so the emergency room nurse put a clear bandage on that. Donna's body bruises were just starting to emerge in colors of yellow, green and purple. Soon the bruises would turn black and the pain as one touched them would go away. Her cracked rib hurt as she breathed, and as she sobbed more thoroughly the deep intakes of air hurt her so badly that Donna had tried to hold her breath to no avail. One had to breathe.

She cried uncontrollably as a reaction to the shock she had experienced and her thoughts of how she let Mitchell take the upper hand and physically overtake her. Donna knew how to protect herself having not only taken yoga but a self defense class. She had done that so as to ward off what just happened. She had been ashamed that she had lost to Mitchell and wanted to now maintain some dignity as she felt she had lost it earlier in the evening. She was not sure if the internal bruises now affixed to her psyche would ever scar over and be forgotten.

Rachel looked at the clock on Donna's mantel. It was now 10:30 pm.

"Would you like to take a shower?" Rachel asked trying to be empathetic.

"Not yet. I just want to try to sleep," Donna said lying down on her side carefully.

"The doctor gave me a prescription for sedatives for you so you can rest. Would you like me to get it filled? I can call Mike to do it for you at the all night shouldn't be alone, right now. Harvey should be here," Rachel said coming over to her best friend and brushed the errant red hair away from her face and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Absolutely not! He'll know soon enough. Please, don't call him. Don't worry about the sedatives, right now. I'm ok, Rachel. You don't have to stay...well, can you stay until I'm asleep?" Donna said realizing the last thing she really wanted was to be alone.

"Sure. Do you want to get into bed?"

"Ok," Donna agreed.

Rachel helped Donna to carefully rise as to not exacerbate her cracked rib. Donna went into the bathroom to assess her damage and to wash her face. She did and then went right into bed.

It did not take long for Donna to fall asleep. As soon as Donna was asleep, Rachel called Harvey who said he would be over in a few short minutes. Rachel had not told him everything except that Donna really needed him. She said she would tell him more when he arrived.

In the meantime, Mitchell sat in a jail cell awaiting his lawyer to post him bail. Mitchell was immediately sorry that he had done this, but he was not that sorry. Just like his ex-wife he felt Donna deserved what she got. She had dated him for two months and kept flaunting her body in front of him, teasing him and sending him messages that she wanted him, too. Now she finally got her just desserts and she was crying "rape"? How absurd.

"Well, Mitch, you really did it this time. You do know that once Harvey Specter knows what happened to his girlfriend that you are looking at jail time. I think you just ought to plead guilty and take your punishment. With your ex it was a little easier and we were able to settle with her."

Mitchell ran his hair through his blonde locks and looked up at his lawyer who just happened to be his brother, Justin.

"What do you mean?

"Harvey Specter is smart and a bully. You don't think that this will have repercussions? She's pressing charges. The police arrested you, and pardon the expression "with your pants down". I'm sure you left evidence of yourself all over her and in her. Am I correct?"

Mitchell nodded. "She asked for it, though. Really, Justin."

Justin retorted, "That will be a very hard argument to win in 2015. If this were 1976, you might have gotten it to stick; but things like rape are not as arbitrary as they once were, and, if you think that Harvey Specter doesn't know that, you are more stupid than I thought."

Whereas Mitchell was a tall, blonde, broad shouldered and eloquent man, his brother, Justin, was the exact opposite. Justin was not as tall, thinly built and very dark. He also never lost his Brooklyn accent. People questioned if one of them had been adopted. Neither one was. Genetics was an odd thing from the physical factor to the mental factor as well. Justin was a patient man never acted impulsively. Unlike Mitchell who lived at the behest of his emotions and sometimes with arrogance and chauvinism. Like women, his skewed point of view was that they were all out for his money. No matter how nicely they treated him. The theory was that their mother had played favorites and Mitchell, although the better looking, had never been mom's favorite.

Justin pointed a finger emphatically at his brother and said, " I wouldn't be surprised if Specter didn't dig up Meredith from wherever home you put her in and make her testify to your anger management and jealousy issues.

"I don't care. I am not pleading guilty," Mitchell said.

"Ok, but it's your funeral."

After he had arrived at Donna's apartment he had noticed the jarred living room tables and the brownish red stain on her pristine white carpet.

"What happened, Rachel? Where is she?"

"Harvey, I want you to sit down first and I will explain things to you. Donna is sleeping right now, but she could wake up since she did not take any of the sedatives the doctor prescribed for her. Mike was here, gave me the pills, and then left."

"What happened, Rachel? Let me see her," Harvey said and not waiting for an explanation quickly jogged to Donna's bedroom to which Rachel warned.

"Do not wake her up! She needs her rest to heal."

Harvey softly trod into the lit bedroom. His shoes hardly making a click on the hardwood floor. Donna's back was to him, so he did not immediately see the cut or the black eye on her face. He crept over to the side where Donna faced.

"Oh my God, Donna!" Harvey exclaimed softly. Tears immediately came to Harvey's eyes as he was instantly furious that someone would treat someone as beautiful as Donna like this. No woman deserved this. Especially not Donna. She was not only beautiful on the outside, but funny, flirtatious and giving on the inside. All she ever wanted was to be loved. Harvey almost sobbed aloud as he realized if he had been straight with her a few months ago he would have insisted that they lived together and that she was always safe from predators. He had always promised that nothing would happen to her on his watch. Now something had.

He fiercely but quietly stomped out of Donna's bedroom afraid that she would awaken if he cried aloud as he wanted to when he had seen her face for the first time.

"Rachel," Harvey said intensely quiet as he noticed tears also standing in her dark brown eyes.

"Before you ask, yes, she was raped. She has a cracked rib and bruises from her chest to her buttocks," Rachel said tears escaping as she saw the horror on Harvey's face.

Harvey clenched his jaw. His hands were balled into fists and he started to draw in angry breaths as he fiercely tried to control his justified anger. He wanted to beat the shit out of that son of a bitch until he was dead. He wanted the son of a bitch to feel how it felt to be beaten so soundly that you could barely move. He could figure who it was. He just needed confirmation and then...what?

"Who did this? You had better tell me because I will make Donna tell me. Was it Mitchell? I know she probably swore you to secrecy and not even tell me at all, but I am glad you called me. Now you had better confirm if this was Mitchell's work or I will wake up Donna and force her to confirm it so I can go kill the bastard!"

Rachel knew that tone of voice. She had heard it enough through the last two years when they had all be in trouble. His tone brooked no argument or falsehoods.

"Yes, it was Mitchell," Rachel said softly standing there watching Harvey's fury boil over.

"Is the bastard in jail at least?"

"Yes. He was just being dragged out by the cops when I got here. Donna spoke with the police while she was at the hospital for the exam," Rachel hiccupped when she remembered the humiliation and fear on Donna's face and voice when she told Rachel that Harvey would blame her for this horrible incident.

"Good. I am going to make sure he doesn't post bail at his arraignment. Do you know if he's been arraigned yet?"

"No, Harvey, my first concern was Donna to make sure that she got home ok and settled. I was going to stay the night with her, if you feel you don't want to. She didn't want me to tell you. She said that you would blame her once you found out that she had been raped."

"Why would I blame her? Mitchell broke up with her and Donna had lunch with him yesterday to explain that she was with me now. With me, where she goddamn belongs!"

"I told her that you would never do any such thing. Harvey, she needs your strength and love now like she has never needed it before."

No need to tell him that. He would have moved heaven and earth to keep her safe and stand by her at this time. This time he had not run away from the depth of his love for her and what they both wanted from it. Harvey would make sure that Donna never thought of this moment after she healed. He would be sure to encourage that healing as she had always been able to heal him when he was down on himself.

Harvey took his cell from his suit jacket and phoned Ray.

"Ray, do me a favor, please? Come over to Donna's apartment. I need to go back over to my place and pick up a few things. I'm staying here a couple of nights Thank you very much, Ray. Sorry about the hour."

"Rachel, I will have Ray take me to my apartment. I will stay with Donna for at least a couple of days. I can have Ray take you home when I get back, if you want."

"No, I have my own car. I will go home when you get back, so she's not alone."

"Since Mike knows that's fine. However, tomorrow tell no one else at the office. I will call in for her for Louis and I will tell Jessica myself. Got it?"

"Of course. Thank you, Harvey. Donna will probably be upset when she sees you..."

"Don't worry about that. You did the right thing, Rachel. Thank you for being here."

Before Ray arrived, Rachel offered Harvey some coffee which he gladly accepted. When Ray called to say he was downstairs, Rachel gave Harvey a hug and smiled. Rachel felt, whether Donna knew it or not, Harvey's love and reassurance was all the care that she needed right now on the road to recovery.

"No, Mitchell, no!" Donna woke up and painfully shot up to a sitting position.

"Donna!"

"Harvey!" Donna turned her head to see he was sitting by her bed in her desk chair.

"What are you doing here?!" Donna exclaimed gathering her covers closer to her body trying to hide from Harvey.

Harvey came to sit gingerly on the foot of Donna's bed. He did not know if he should try to touch her or not. Donna may have become frightened by touching since what had happened to her the night before. Harvey decided to let Donna show him or tell him. He had begun to doze in the chair and realizing that full daylight was upon them noticed the bathroom light was still on. He had left it alight on purpose in the event she awoke, and he was away from her bedroom. He did not want her to suddenly awaken and feel herself alone in the dark.

"Rachel called me and told me what happened," Harvey said quietly.

"She had no right! I told her not to call you. I didn't want you to know, since we just..." Donna starting crying.

Harvey wanted desperately to take her in his arms, but he felt she would rebuff him or shrink away from him. He would not blame her if she had.

"She said you thought that I would blame you for what that lousy S.O.B. did," Harvey said trying to stifle a sob himself at seeing her distress. "I would never have blamed you."

Donna tried to turn away from Harvey's sight by lying down carefully on the cracked rib side and pulling the covers all the way to her face.

"Donna, I'm here for you. That lousy Mitchell is going to pay for this! You did the right thing and pressed charges. He's being arraigned today, Rachel discovered earlier."

Harvey looked at his watch. It read 9:30 am. Rachel had done the research at the court that Donna would have normally done if she had been working.

Donna was dangerously silent. After that outburst she had shut off. Harvey continued talking nonetheless of things he knew she would worry.

"I called Louis for you to tell him that you wouldn't be in for a couple of days. I told him you were attacked but not to the extent that you really were. He, of course, said take all the time you need. I have Gretchen covering for you. She's doing double time and has no problem doing it she said. I talked to Jessica and explained everything to her, and she is so sorry and sends her best wishes for you to hurry up and get well."

"Harvey, how many people did you tell about me?" Donna asked although her voice was muffled by the blankets covering her face.

"Just the immediate bunch," Harvey wiped a tear away from his face and sniffed. He tried very hard to hold it in, but looking at her was so hard for him because he prayed that this would not break her spirit or her nature. She was always a force with which to reckon and he loved her for it.

"Harvey?"

"Yes."

"I need to get out of this bed and get washed and change these sheets. Do you wanna help or is that beneath you?" Donna said cracking a joke about his arrogance.

Harvey smiled. That's his Donna. She was not going to let this get her down. He knew recovery may be a little long for what they had once planned but it would happen.

"Of course, it's beneath me, but for you I make an exception. Which do you want to do first?"

Harvey helped Donna sit up with difficulty. He sat back down on the bed and she said, "Take a bath."

The water felt so good on her body. It was difficult washing everywhere because her bruises were still a bit tender and swollen in places. Her face ached and she could barely see from her black eye, but it was getting a little better.

Before venturing into the bathroom, Donna examined herself in her full length mirror while Harvey busied himself in the kitchen cooking. Donna turned to the side and noticed the bruises along her ribcage and lower back. She turned back around and ran her hand along her breast where a huge black bruise was starting to emerge. Then she saw again the cuts and bruises on her face from Mitchell's punches and whelp with the belt. Everything was still so tender and raw. She began to cry again.

"Donna," Harvey stopped when he saw Donna's beautiful body reflected in the mirror.

"Harvey, get out! I don't want you to see me this way. I'm all banged up and ugly," Donna said trying to cover herself by swiping her discarded clothes from the bed.

Despite Donna's request, Harvey did not leave the room but came closer. He stood behind her and placed his hands gingerly on her hips and coerced her into looking at the mirror.

"Donna, do you know what I see in that mirror?"

"An old battered up woman whom no one will ever sleep with again?"

"No, I see the beautiful woman with whom I fell in love 12 years ago. I also see the woman I desire in my bed and the one who has never given up faith in me nor allowed me to wallow in self defeat or who has helped me before I made life threatening mistakes. Donna, I love you, no matter what."

Donna quietly cried at those touching, heartfelt words of Harvey's. Knowing as well as she did, those words must have taken Harvey a considerable amount of emotional courage. He deserved everything for that. She just was not sure if she could do that ever again, but she was going to try.

"Harvey?"

"What is it? I'd do anything for you, you know that," Harvey responded quietly.

"I am sore and everything aches. Could I ask you do to me a favor? Would you help me bathe?"

Harvey smiled and looked into her eyes through the mirror and said, "Of course I will."

Donna did not know why she asked him. Was it because of those beautiful words which he spoke with as much emotion as she had ever seen from him? She did not know. She had to acknowledge that Rachel was right. She did need him because he was her "go to" guy whenever she was in trouble. She could always count on him.

Having finally decided what temperature of bath she wanted, Donna added some lavendar scented bath oil beads. This would add moisture to the heat and perhaps penetrate her sore muscles and bring out the bruises.

"Donna, are you ok?" Harvey asked. "Do you want me to come in?"

Donna bit her lip deciding whether she should allow him in. Well, he did see her naked bruised body already; and he had not turned tail and run, so she figured it would do no more harm. If his desire for her had not cooled maybe it would now. Donna was not sure if she wanted it to or not. She loved Harvey and wanted nothing more to be his, but she was not sure if she could handle him knowing what he may expect from her now that they were together. She never wanted to retreat back to the sexual tension edged friendship they had had for the last 12 years. Harvey had said he did not want that and instinctively he knew she had not asked him to help her because she wanted him to wind up in bed with her but because she needed a friend who knew her inside and out. Also one who had strength for the both of them at this moment.

"Yes. I'm still shaky," Donna said.

Harvey opened the door slowly to her small bathroom.

"Give me your hand," Harvey said. She took it and managed to get herself into the tub standing.

The tub was filling as she stood there with hot, steaming water but also some lavendar scent that Harvey always thought of as hers.

"Ok. You're going to have to do this very carefully so your ribs stay isolated. Let me take you like this," Harvey said hoping he was doing the right thing. He didn't know any more about treating cracked ribs than your average Joe.

"Put your arms on my shoulders and then crouch down until you can get a firm seat. I will help lower you down as you hold on. This should work, ok?" Harvey said looking into Donna's eyes as her arms came around him.

"Ok, Specter, but I'm suing you if I slip and fall," Donna said. They both smiled and Harvey was grateful.

"There's my girl. Won't let me get away with anything."

It worked and now she was sitting in the tub. Taking a deep painful breath, she raised her head and looked at Harvey who took a seat on the toilet in front of the tub. He got a first class view of her entire body in the clear water and could see where all her bruises were.

"Ooo," Donna moaned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just a twinge of a sore muscle." She did not want to confess that the bath oil was burning her vagina which was still painfully sore from the rape. She could not douche because the motion of cleansing that area hurt her cracked rib. She thought the bath would help additionally cleanse her vaginal area. She had not been allowed to douche before the exam as this would probably destroy evidence; however, once the exam was completed she was allowed a Sitz bath to make her feel comfortable enough to return home.

"I made us some soup and rolls while you were preparing for your bath. Would you like some when you get out?"

Donna looked at Harvey and said, "I'm ok now. Harvey, you don't have to stay with me. I'm sure you're pretty busy and Gretchen must be going nuts covering for you and doing my job."

"She's fine. As she said when I asked her to do this she told me not to worry. She had been covering for lawyers for 24 years, so she knew all the ups and downs by now."

"Well, being I can't seem to get rid of you, can you help me wash my hair? I really can't move with this bad rib. I'm afraid I'll puncture a lung if I move too much."

Harvey rose from his seat and taking the cup of water Donna held in her hand poured the water over Donna's head gingerly. He saw a bruise on the top of her head and could only think that she must have hit a piece of furniture during the attack. When her hair was completely wet, he took the bottle of vanilla shampoo, poured some in his hand and started to lather it into her hair. The smell of vanilla took Harvey back to the first time Donna sat on her desk at the D.A's office and handed him his coffee. Back then he had noticed the vanilla but decided to tease her about its taste until he thought it was the most wonderful concoction since Scotch.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Harvey asked. Last time he washed her hair was the other day when they could not stand to be without each other. They had been laughing because Donna was not sure if she had gotten all the soap out of her hair since most of the shower they had spent with Harvey locked deep inside her against the shower wall.

Now it was so different. Harvey was not used to being around people who needed his physical help. He only hoped that once Donna was well they would return to that happy couple that they had just become.

"No, you are doing a great job. It feels good. I think you can rinse it now," Donna said as she leaned back and Harvey once again took the cup filled with water and rinsed the soap from her beautiful red hair. Harvey kissed her on the cheek to which Donna had not shrunk away. Much to his pleasant surprise.

Harvey was dressed in only a t-shirt and jeans found his t-shirt was completely soaked. He stripped it off.

"What are you doing?" Donna asked.

"Well, I assume you are going to need some help washing the rest of your bruises and bumps. Do you mind if I get in there with you? I know it's not as big as my tub, but I think we'll both fit. This way I can be sure I won't accidentally drop you or have you slip from my grasp and puncture a lung. Ok?"

Donna looked down and did not know what to think. Harvey being this gentle and kind was the Harvey she knew existed but had never completely seen. This was one of the reasons she knew he would be an excellent father when the time came.

 _Father? Where the hell did that thought come from?_ Donna thought.

She looked up and he could see tears glistening in her eyes. She noticed he had tears, too.

"Harvey..."

"I would not dare try anything when you've been hurt like this. I would never do anything like that until you give me a sign that you want me to. No, I just want to help make you feel better and I don't want to accidentally kill you in the process."

"Ok, Harvey," Donna said chuckling softly. She looked up at him and saw how much love lie behind those deep brown eyes and his words which for some reason had seemed to come easily.

He undressed in front of her and, unfortunately, he could not help his erection pop out. Donna looked away until he got into the tub behind her.

"Lean against me if it doesn't hurt you. Sit against me straight up if it's better... and sorry about "Mr. Happy". He gets that way whenever he sees the woman he loves," Harvey said again.

Donna smiled. "Well, I'm sorry, but I can't accommodate Mr. Happy right now. However, if Mr. Specter doesn't mind, could he please hold me?"

Encouraging her to lie back, Harvey smiled as Donna lay between his legs and in his arms. He held her against his chest as tightly as he dared.

Donna blew out a breath she had not realized that she had been holding and for the first time since this whole horrible event happened relaxed in knowing that once again Harvey had come through for her.

"Thank you, Harvey. I love you," Donna said quietly as she closed her eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Thank you for the followers and favorites. Please enjoy this next chapter. Thank you - Carebearmaxi

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 14

A couple of days later, Donna sat on her couch while Harvey sat at Donna's dining room table with his laptop open. Donna was still huddled in a blanket on her couch although not from the cold. For it being late December Donna's living room was quite warm. One simply did not feel drafts on the second floor even with old casement windows in the brick building. She huddled in the blanket because of her feelings of numbness and emptiness. The first full night that Harvey had stayed with Donna, she allowed him to crawl into bed beside her holding her fragile body as close to him as possible. It was only then that Donna would feel secure enough to sleep. Understanding that Harvey had work to do, she had insisted earlier that morning that she was fine and encouraged him to call Ray and go to work. The thought of him not being near her, close enough for him to hold her when she trembled and cried, was a loss she was not yet ready to face. Harvey had been her rock. Harvey knew her as well as she knew him. She could not fool him for a minute and that was why he did not leave but insisted that he stay with her.

Harvey looked over at Donna as she sat huddled in her grandmother's homemade afghan watching a mushy, hokey love story on Lifetime Movie Channel. In the last two nights he had spent with Donna, he could feel that Donna still felt a huge weight of guilt for Mitchell's brutal attack as if she was supposed to feel guilt for being with the man she really loved after Mitchell had the audacity to dump her on Christmas Eve. Harvey knew there was no reason for her to feel so guilty. Donna would never admit that guilt to Harvey as long as he point blank asked her. He wanted to make sure that she would recover, so he felt he had to coerce or persuade her into a behavior for which she may not be ready and may not ever forgive him. If she became angry with him then he knew they were going in the right direction.

"I'm pretty sure that Mitchell's attorney will have him take a plea bargain rather than take this to trial. The evidence is overwhelming in your favor as the victim. As a precaution the judge set the bail pretty high from what Rachel told me. I don't think he will find a bail bondsmen or has anyone who will pay it for him."

"Well, I hope he doesn't show his face around here if he gets out. I couldn't bear that," Donna responded shakily.

"Don't you worry. He comes here or anywhere near you I will kill him first and ask questions later. I will get a restraining order put out on him before the ink is dry on the bail papers if he even thinks of coming anywhere near you."

Harvey stretched and closed his eyes for a minute to rest them from the computer. "Not to change the subject. Are you getting hungry?"

Donna said, "No, I'm fine."

"Well, I'm famished. It's nearly 7:00 pm. Do you want to go out? We've been barricaded in here for the last couple of nights, and I think I'm getting cabin fever."

"No, Harvey, I don't want to go out. I'm not ready yet. My eye is still black and blue and is half closed. I don't think I have enough makeup to hide all the bruises. My rib is still bothering me."

Harvey detected a defeatist tone of Donna's voice, so he said, "Come on, Donna, is it just that you think you look bad? Because I think you're beautiful, bruises and all. I do, however, need a few things from home tonight. We could go together, Donna. We could eat dinner at one of our favorite places, go back to my place and you could spend a few days with me there until you feel ready to go back to work."

He let the invitation sink in for a few minutes. Then he ventured a different tactic which might urge an answer from Donna.

"By the way, Gretchen is getting a temp for Louis, so she can focus on my work. Have you spoken to Louis? Donna?"

"Yes, I spoke to Louis. However, he didn't say anything about a temp."

"Well, you know you can't tell Louis anything because he would take it out on Gretchen. Not that I'm afraid for Gretchen for not telling him off because she's put me in my place a couple of times and Travis Tanner, so I'm sure she could handle telling Louis off and still keep her job. I'm just getting very behind and uninformed if I don't get my secretary back soon."

Donna almost balked at the word "secretary" because that's all she used to be or _thought_ she used to be to Harvey. She now knew different and it almost sounded like a prophetic statement when Harvey asked.

"Do you think you would want to come back to work for me, if Louis' temperament ruins everything? I'm sure Gretchen wouldn't mind keep working for Louis as long as she had a job."

When Donna did not give him an answer, Harvey rose from the dining room table and crept over to the couch to see if Donna had fallen asleep. When he saw her she was staring straight ahead as if she were in a catatonic state. Harvey knew she was not even 50 percent back yet, but he needed her to want to come back to even 50 percent. He knew it was wrong to ask for a hundred percent return this early but she needed to come out of hiding soon. He needed her to not give in to despair. Mitchell would change his plea. If he did not, Harvey would assert pressure to make sure he did. Harvey knew that Mike and Rachel had discovered some disturbing skeletons in Mitchell's closet upon his assigning them this duty. Harvey, who still had a few ties left in the D.A's office, wanted to be in a position to help the prosecution if Mitchell decided not to change his plea to guilty.

He sat down on the couch beside Donna and took her into his arms. He massaged her sore upper arm rubbing up and down. She put her head on his shoulder and he could immediately feel wetness on his neck and down his shirt.

"Donna?"

"I'm sorry, Harvey," Donna reitereated wiping at a tear with frustration. "I'm sorry I'm not up to anything. I'm just not ready to face work yet. My face is still bruised..."

Harvey stopped and kissed her on the mouth. It was the first real kiss since the night before the rape. He could feel how much she was responding and then she broke the kiss abruptly.

"Harvey!"

"Donna, I'm sorry. I know you're not ready yet, but I need you and want you to know that I love you and for you not to feel as if what happened was your fault."

"No, Harvey, I'm sorry. It was just that I know it was you who were kissing me, but then for some stupid reason my mind went back to the attack and Mitchell appeared in my brain. His overwhelming strength holding me down and all I could feel was that I was being smothered. So if you feel the need to release pressure, I give you full permission to screw some bar whore..."

Harvey sprung from the couch and exclaimed, "Donna, that's not why I kissed you and why I need you! I know you are not ready yet for that and there is no pressure until you feel you're ready. I just wanted to take you out and see you smile again. Then, maybe if it helps, you could get away from here for a few days. You could stay at my place. You could have the guestroom to yourself. I would not bother you unless you really want me there. Maybe you could go to Connecticut and see your family, I don't know. I just want you to come back to me."

Donna looked up at Harvey with tears in her eyes, " You have been so kind, understanding and sweet to me these last couple of days, Harvey. Everything that I could have wanted or needed and I really love you... and want to respond as I should... and really yearn to... but I am nowhere near ready to go out in public yet. I still can't wipe what Mitchell did to me out of my mind."

"Donna, I am not one to beg for anything. However, I promise you that nothing will hurt you if you're with me. You need to get away from here for just a little while. If you still refuse me you won't get out of here until that SOB is carried off to prison and that could be weeks or months from now. Don't let Mitchell know that he stopped your life! That's what he wants! He wanted to stop your relationship with me because he was jealous! He was not unaware of what he did; he knew that it would stop you from living if he did what he did. So even if you don't ever want to touch me or talk to me after this night, just please let's go out and then I will bring you back here and we can then decide what to do, ok?"

Donna's tears were flowing freely now and they dripped onto her hands and her sweater. Then something snapped in her brain. Harvey was right! Mitchell had intended for her to stop living her life and apologize for who she was and what she wanted. She had never apologized to anybody for who she was, and she sure as hell was not going to start now! When he was attacking her she did remember fighting him tooth and nail to the best of her ability. Mitchell be damned for wanting her to feel guilty for his mental problems!

She wiped her tears away and sat up straight and said, "Ok, Harvey, let's go out and then we can go back to your condo."

Harvey smiled.

Earlier that day Harvey had assigned Mike a task to discover some particular details regarding Mitchell's ex-wife. The driver pulled up in front of a modest rancher home about 30 miles outside New York City. Rachel accompanied Mike so they could work together for their friend. Mike knocked on the door of the house. An older woman answered the door. She had white hair and dressed in a purple velour warm-up suit.

"Yes, may I help you?"

"Does Meredith O'Brien live here?" Mike asked politely.

"Yes, she does. She's my daughter. What can we do for you?"

"My name is Mike Ross. This is Rachel Zane. We are lawyers from Pearson Specter Litt. We think we can help your daughter in obtaining compensation for her injuries that she sustained at the hands of her ex-husband at the same time you will be helping putting this man away for he has also hurt someone we care about as well."

Meredith's mother, Hilary Sweeden, showed them in and offered them some coffee and seats in the living room.

"Give me just a minute. I'll get my daughter. I think she would be happy to help you."

Rachel and Mike shared a little discussion about Donna's condition and how wonderful and loving Harvey had been with her.

"Well, we have always known how much Donna and Harvey love one another. It is just a shame that this happened so early in their happiness. I am so thankful that nothing like that ever happened to you." Mike smiled and sneaked a kiss.

"Mr. Ross and Ms. Zane, this is my daughter, Meredith O'Brien," Hilary said introducing her daughter to her two guests.

Meredith O'Brien was a woman in her early forties paralyzed from the neck down which was the first item you noticed as her mother had to wheel her from another room. Although her neck was covered with a cervical collar, Meredith was capable of speech and her gray green eyes were vibrant and filled with sparkle. If she had not been trapped in that wheelchair one had the feeling that she would have jumped for joy that someone was willing to help her get compensation for her injuries. Knowing the story behind the injuries gave Rachel pause and she almost broke into tears in front of this woman whose struggles would break your heart.

"Mrs. O'Brien, pleased to meet you. My name is Mike Ross..."

"My name is Rachel Zane. We are lawyers with Pearson Specter Litt and we think we can help you if you are willing to help us."

When Ray drove Harvey and Donna back to Harvey's condo after dinner at another of their favorite restaurants, it was almost like old times. They laughed at each other and gossiped about the antics of some of the partners during the Christmas party. Harvey attended because he had to as he was a name partner. However, Donna stayed the whole time as she had brought Mitchell as her date. Harvey had gone home shortly after saying hello to Donna on Mitchell's arm. Trying to salve the loneliness and untoward jealousy after seeing Donna with Mitchell for the first time, Harvey had ventured alone to his favorite bar, tried hooking up with a very young brunette with intelligent eyes only to feel that she was young enough to be his daughter. They continued to flirt and talk but Harvey had changed his mind about some mindless sex and went home alone and watched some mindless TV instead and fell asleep on his couch.

Now that they were together, in spite of what had just happened with Donna, they made happy plans for New Years' Eve which was only a couple of days away. As they sat on the couch next to each other, Donna imparted something that she had always wanted to do since she came to live in New York.

"You want to watch the ball drop in Times Square!" Harvey exclaimed. He was surprised that that was something she had never done in person. "You mean you have lived in or near New York City for over a decade and you have never once ventured to Times Square and watch the ball drop?"

Donna backed away from him and turning her head looked him straight in the eye." Oh, and you haven't because you were too busy banging some chick you picked up at a client or a friend's New Year's Eve party?"

"No...well...yes most of the time. You know it's always easy to find someone to kiss at midnight at those parties. The real reason I never did it was because I never wanted to. Sure I've watched it on TV since I was a little boy. My dad used to play gigs on New Years' Eve so that's all I ever did except when I got old enough to see my dad playing at those places."

"Well then what do you say? I have a couple of contacts and people who owe me favors so I could book us a hotel room in the event you give Ray off or don't want to call a cab that late. What do you say?"

Harvey smirked at her. However, this was the first time he had seen her spirit back in her eyes and her beautiful face become ignorant of the pain of the bruises and cut still on it. He could not say "no" to her. He never ever wanted to say no to her desires ever again because her desires were always what was best for not only him but them.

Harvey smiled his Chesire Cat smile and took Donna into his arms carefully and kissed her on the lips. He stopped momentarily to see if the action would evoke a horrible memory for her...

"Harvey! Please you can kiss me again and lay with me, but I'm not ready to make love yet." Donna said as she put a hand up between them. She swallowed hard because she knew what this was doing to the both of them. It was putting them almost right back to the beginning when they were against touching each other. It was mindblowing how fast a situation could reverse.

"It's ok, Donna. I just wanted to kiss you. Sure if you want me to lie with you until you fall asleep in the guest room that's fine. There's no hurry. Also I do not have any false expectations on New Year's Eve. I just want to be with you and not alone. I just want to be with the woman I love on New Year's Eve for once in my life," Harvey said with love and desire churning deep in his heart. He made a promise and he was going to keep it although they both knew he was a man not known for patience.

"Thank you, Harvey," Donna said as she kissed him back very carefully and lightly on his lips. "This New Year's Eve will be special for me as well since I will also be spending it, for once, with the man I have loved for the last 12 almost 13 years."

They talked for a bit and then Harvey waited until Donna was in bed. He then took a shower and then carefully slipped in beside Donna in his own bed which was where she had desired because she still needed his warmth to feel secure.

"Good night, Harvey," Donna said carefully turning on her cracked rib side to face Harvey's back. She put an experimental arm around his waist to hold him for a change.

"Goodnight, Donna," Harvey said quietly and kissed her hand which had snaked around his waist. He closed his eyes and continued to hold Donna's hand close to his heart.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N I am so glad that there are readers who like this story. It is a difficult subject to write about; however, I was just using it as a plot line. Beware this is not the end yet...it just reads like it. Usual disclaimer: I don't own Suits or their characters but love playing with them. Please read and review if you want. Thank you.**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way- Chapter 15

New Year's Eve daylight shone through the drapes in Harvey's bedroom. Donna rose and looked at the clock that sat on the nightstand on Harvey's side of the bed. In big digital numbers it showed 9:00 AM. The night before she had insisted that Harvey return to work and she would return herself in the New Year. Her cracked rib was feeling better and she had two doctor's appointment to examine the physical healing of her body. Since her breakthrough the other day and with Harvey's unfailing perseverance and love, she began to feel like her old self. She and Harvey had settled into a pseudo-marriage routine in just the last couple of days; however, she was anxious to get back to work. She had not made the decision whether to return to Harvey's desk or not. Donna had spoken with Gretchen who said she was fine with either decision. It was really up to her and Harvey.

Donna pulled the voluminous blankets aside and rose out of bed. She tried to stretch a little to test her rib but at the uncomfortable feeling of pulling she decided she had better wait until the today's set of X-rays showed improvement. She ventured into Harvey's bathroom and turned on the light and looked at all her makeup and toiletries that were strewn all over his counter. Last night she had placed them neatly in a place where she thought they would not interefere with Harvey's things. Harvey was neat and fastidious, but today it looked as if he had had to leave in a hurry. His shaving gear was not put back neatly and his bathrobe was not hanging on the hook which is where he normally placed it when he was finished. It just slumped on the floor as was his laundry. Deciding she would pick up his laundry from the floor later, she stood looking at herself in the mirror to make a full examination.

As she began to examine herself, she could not help but feel excited about their "date" tonight. Donna had pulled some strings with a person who owed her a favor from The Chatwal and had reserved a very expensive suite. The Chatwal was not far from the ball drop. Last night, Harvey said for her to do whatever she wanted. So as she was anticipating tonight's events she smiled at herself her old "gotcha" smile.

Donna looked into her face and noticed that the cut on her cheek was still an angry red mark but not as extensive has it had been a few days ago. It was merely a little blemish. The bruises around her eye had finally started to fade and the swelling was dissipating as well. The only thing that was left of the injury was the blood clot on the inside of her eye. The red leatherburn marks on her wrists from being belted to the end table were fading and barely hurt anymore. She then gingerly lifted the black tank top of her pajamas. The bruises had all appeared completely in their angry colors of purple, black, green, and yellow, and, as such, a little less tender to the touch. She turned around completely struggling to get a glimpse of the bruises on her lower back where she had been whipped and punched. She grabbed the large hand mirror off the counter and examined the bruises which circled around on her abdomen and lower back. Even they had turned a horrible shade of purple black. She hoped that nothing was broken that would indicate that she could no longer bear children. Although now in her 40's she still wanted children and now that Harvey was hers she especially looked forward to having his child. They would have to talk about that first, though. She still was not sure about Harvey's outlook on children.

Donna sighed heavily putting down the mirror and resigning herself that she was feeling better. With a little smile to herself in the mirror and wonderful excitement about her and Harvey's plans for this very special evening, Donna stepped into the hot shower and let the water wash what was left of her anxiety away.

"He what!" Harvey shouted looking at his associate.

"He was arraigned at 8:00 am and he pleaded not guilty and then his lawyer arranged for the $50,000 bail," Mike said following Harvey around in his office while Harvey paced furiously back and forth.

"I suppose the DA didn't mention a thing that he had previous history of being abusive to women," Harvey said knowing that he was found "not guilty" would completely exonerate him from any prior charge.

"The judge didn't think anything of it since he was found not guilty," Mike said echoing Harvey's thoughts.

What a horrible occurrence for Donna! Once he told her, he would reinforce the need for her stay with him despite having placed a restraining order against him. Harvey never trusted those restraining orders. It worked most of the time as long as the restrained party was trustworthy and cared about the consequences of violating it; however, Harvey did not trust Mitchell as far as he could throw him.

"What are you going to do, Harvey?" Rachel asked. Having been with Donna moments after the cops had gotten there and witnessing Mitchell being hauled away with his genitals barely covered, it had been a horrible experience. Rachel could not imagine the hell that Donna had had to recount to the police and the doctors what had happened in graphic terms.

"Well, I'm going to guarantee that prick doesn't come anywhere near Donna and help the prosecution along with their case."

"Here's the file of what we recorded when we interviewed Mitchell's ex-wife, Meredith. She's prepared to say whatever we need her to say."

"Did you offer her the compensation for her injuries?" Harvey wondered. He knew that it was bribing a potential witness, but the minute Harvey had discovered in court records that Mitchell had been brought up on previous charges he knew he had to pursue justice for Donna and Meredith. How the jury returned a verdict of not guilty by reasons of insanity was beyond Harvey. The only thing he could reason was that the prosecution had not called the correct witnesses to testify to Mitchell's previous violent history.

"In the event that the prosecution doesn't call her has a witness, she is very happy to sue him with our help in a civil suit. I talked her into going for compensation from his company since she was married to him and worked with him at the time of his attempted murder."

"Good job, you two," Harvey said eyeing them and smiling at them both. Just like he and Donna, Mike and Rachel made a good team. "Ok, I am leaving early today as it is still New Years' Eve. Donna and I have plans."

"Really?" Mike said smiling lopsidedly. "Nice to see mom and dad together again."

"Mike..." Rachel said.

"That's ok, Rachel. He knows where his bread is buttered." Harvey said smiling at them. "Go back to work..."

Mike and Rachel left the room talking about what their own plans for New Year's Eve were to be.

Donna was just finished packing when she heard the knock on the door of her apartment. After her shower that morning, she had called Ray as Harvey had put him at her disposal and ventured back to her apartment to pack a few things for tonight's event. She had also needed some basic items as well like additional clothes and some DVD's that Harvey had said he would like to watch also to return some that she had inadvertently kept from many months ago before their falling out over her working for Louis.

Going to the door she thought that perhaps it was her neighbor to see if she had seen his little orange cat. Mr. Odobe was a very nice lonely widower with whom she talked some days and nights when she was not doing anything. There had not been so much of that lately since Mitchell had come into her life.

Donna opened the door saying, "Mr. Odobe, I'm sorry. I hadn't seen... Mitchell?" She closed the door quickly.

"Donna, I just want to apologize for what I did a few days ago. Open the door," Mitchell said apologetically.

Donna had shut the door and dialed 911 on her phone. She was sure that Harvey had obtained a restraining order.

"Don't call the police. I know there is a restraining order..." There was a crash outside the door. Donna quickly put down the phone before she could give the 911 operator all her information. She opened the door and saw Harvey standing over Mitchell. Mitchell lay on the ground with a bloodied lip and black eyes.

"Harvey!" Donna said seeing him and noting how Mitchell was lying on the ground writhing in pain.

"Get up, you bastard! I'm not finished with you. I want you to know how it feels to be on the receiving end of your abuse, you prick. When I'm done with you, you'll want to go back to jail. You should have taken the deal, prick," Harvey said as he pulled Mitchell up by his jacket lapels and smashed him in the face with another punch of which the momentum catapulted Mitchell down the first flight of eight steps.

Mitchell landed at the bottom of the first landing in a heap. He then squinted up at Harvey and then raised his arm as if acknowledging defeat. Perhaps feeling ashamed and caught in the act of trying to make up for an inconceivably horribe offense, Mitchell scurried down the steps and out the complex's doors.

Harvey trying to recover from the rush of anger turned to Donna and said too loudly and too worriedly, "Did he hurt you? I'm glad to see you didn't let him in."

"Come in here, Harvey," Donna said taking his hand and looking at his bruised bloodied knuckles. It was not the first time she had attended to his bloodied knuckles of his right hand.

"Of course, I wasn't going to let him in. I was dialing 911 when you showed up here fists blazing. Let me see this," Donna said taking him to her bathroom and having him sit on the toilet while she bathed his knuckles in warm water.

"Why did you even open the door without looking through your peephole?"

"I thought it was Mr. Odobe looking for his cat again. I had no idea it would be Mitchell. I thought he would have obeyed the restraining order."

"Well, now you know you can't just open the door assuming a friend is behind there."

Donna knew Harvey was right. She chalked up not thinking to how good she had feeling about their first New Year's Eve together as a couple. She also thanked Harvey for arriving so fortuitously.

"...five, four, three..." the crowd chorused as the ball was almost to the 2016 sign.

Harvey looked around the crowd expecting to see Mitchell or some other suspicious looking predator. However, he was trying to enjoy this through Donna's eyes. He noted her bright smile and her ebullience shining from her eyes in her joy to be here at this special time. She had told him she had never done this before and it was extremely special because she shared it with him. The man she had loved for almost 13 years. He, personally, was glad that he had waited all his life to share this with the woman he had unknowingly or unacknowledging loved for 13 years. However, Harvey was not one who like crowds pressing in from all sides. Heck, sometimes he preferred to be alone. However, he did swear to himself tonight, despite the horror of seeing Donna's rapist at her front door ready to enter, he would ignore those thoughts and just take joy that Donna was safe, leaning back in his arms with her head on his shoulder while they watched the year change, and knowing that she was slowly returning to herself.

"...two, one...Happy New Year! " the crowd cheered, confetti dropping from who knows where and everyone kissing anyone they could just to share the hope of another year. Harvey turned Donna around in his arms. He stared deeply into her dark hazel green eyes and put a gloved hand up to smooth away the hair from either side of her face. He then deliberately kissed her long and lovingly. He felt Donna pull him closer and slowly she wanted him to deepen their kiss. They separated but still holding each other close and again looking deep into each other's eyes and smiling.

They both said together simultaneously: "Happy New Year!"

As they walked back to the hotel, Donna scooped up some confetti and threw it at Harvey. Harvey who had enough of the shiny silver foil stuff stuck in his hair smiled and had surreptitously picked up a handful of the shiny stuff and when Donna came near him he removed her ski hat and placed it on top of her head where it spilled out and reflected the lights of the city making an ethereal glow to Donna's hair. Both laughing they came together again and walked arm in arm as best they could in the crowded, celebratory streets of January 1, 2016.


	16. Chapter 16

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 16

Harvey and Donna arrived back at their posh hotel covered in confetti and snow as the sky seemed to open up just before they stepped on the threshold of their hotel. It had been a wonderful evening and it pleased Harvey's heart to see the enjoyment on Donna's face. She had hidden some of the worst scarring with her makeup but Harvey could see that she was healing on the outside and hopefully the inside.

They kissed in the elevator on the way up to the most luxurious top floor apartments. They laughed as Donna handed Harvey the keycard to swipe them into their room.

Harvey swiped the key, and the door of their suite opened. As Donna passed in front of him entering the suite, he said, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Donna returned and giving Harvey a kiss said, "I bet you want me to come back to your desk."

Harvey shook his head in disbelief. _How does she know these things?_ _This woman I will never figure out. She's amazing._

"One because you never stop thinking about work and that you are anxious about the state of our relationship if I said I would love to come back to your desk," Donna volunteered as she took off her jacket and proceeded into the bathroom.

Harvey watched her and then spotted the bottle of champagne chilling in the bucket with two glasses and a note leaning on the bucket.

"Hey, what this?" Harvey asked walking over by the window to retrieve the bottle. He picked up the note and it read:

 _Compliments from The Chadwal. Happy New Year, Harvey and Donna..._

 _Love,_

 _Charlene_

"Who's Charlene?" Harvey called out.

Donna came to him slowly and whispered, "What a surprise! You can't remember the names of the women from the D.A's office you bedded."

"Oh, that Charlene..." Harvey said deeply as he watched Donna come to him in the dimmed light.

Donna, a sexy smile pasted on her face, sashayed to Harvey in a silky black spaghetti strap negligee. The straps barely kept the gown from exposing Donna's full breasts. It was long and it hugged Donna's body so fittingly that it framed her most feminine part as well as her long legs.

He was speechless. Harvey had slept with many a beautiful woman because she was supple and willing. However, of all the women, he realized not long ago that the only one he ever saw or try to erase the memory of was Donna and their one night so many years ago they had spent together. As he watched Donna slowly seducing him, his heart skipped a beat. He swallowed hard and smiled. This woman was _his_ woman and the feelings she rose in him made him uncomfortable as he was getting hard in the tight jeans he was wearing.

She slipped into his arms and he noticed not for the first time how much better she fit his body when she was not wearing her towering heels. His put his arms around her and she felt marvelously silky and slippery. He kissed her shoulder.

"Well, I can promise you are the only one I want now and for always. I don't want another. Only you."

He punctuated his speech with gentle kisses on both shoulders, her forehead, and her neck. Her arms snaked around him, she smiled, and closed her eyes feeling so safe, beautiful, and loved in his arms. Her nipples were hard against his still clothed torso, so she started to quickly unbutton his shirt to feel his bare torso against her silken wrapped breasts. He had kissed one of her straps down exposing a breast. Harvey dipped his head toward one erect nipple and she pushed into him to feel more of his warm mouth on her body.

Harvey tried to take this slowly in light of recent events. He stopped momentarily in his ministrations reluctantly.

"Donna, are you sure you're ready for this? You're not doing this because you think you'll lose me if I don't get to make love to you every living second?"

Donna covered Harvey's quivering lips with a delicious kiss inviting Harvey to open his mouth and share it.

He broke the kiss and held her upper arms in each hand and held her back a short distance from him so he could look into her beautiful eyes and see the truth. He had had a wonderful evening. He would be happy just lying next to her again holding her close as they had since she had been attacked.

Their relationship had always been more than just sex and it was more than friendship. That's why it had been so complicated for them for over 12 years. Truly, there was nothing more than Harvey wanted than to make love to Donna in this beautiful place. Now that he finally had acknowledged not only to himself but to everyone that he was totally and hopelessly in love with this woman he was insatiable for her, but if it meant sacrificing Donna's sanity or health he could wait.

"Harvey, do you honestly think that if I didn't want you take me to bed that I would be standing here with you in this negligee? The doctors told me I'm fine. My cracked rib is still not completely healed but it's doing much better than anticipated. I specifically asked them if having sex would hurt me and they left it up to me. Way to ruin a moment, Specter," Donna said walking away from him and pouring herself a glass of champagne.

Harvey lowered his eyes and walked over to the bed where Donna sat swiftly swigging a flute of champagne. As she reached for another, Harvey's hand shot out and stopped her.

"You know I only asked because I don't want to hurt you or make you remember bad things. After what you've gone through, you have made a very quick recovery."

"Because of you, Harvey. You lent me your strength and made me feel safe in my own house when I was very scared. You took care of things for me like you always do, and I just wanted to return the favor now that I feel I'm up to it."

Harvey swallowed hard and sat next to her on the bed.

"You never have to thank me. I would do anything for you. I love you. You don't have to have make love to me just to please me. Believe me I wouldn't mind and it would be great, but I don't want you doing anything you are not ready for," Harvey said laying his hand on her wrist.

"Well, I wasn't exactly going to thank you with sex. It was for me, too. I want you, Harvey. I'm not sure if I don't get back on the horse now that I will ever get on the horse again..so to speak. I don't want the...rape... become a wall between us just when we had taken down our walls. So I want you, yes. I have the medical clearance and, yes, I want to make love to you because I love you so much, Harvey," Donna whispered. She put down her flute of champagne. She framed Harvey's face in her hands and kissed him with all the need and want she had in her body. She was so happy when she felt Harvey respond deepening their kiss and his arms cradling her as he lay her down on the bed.

Harvey looked into her eyes and saw she had meant every word she had said. She was so beautiful despite the bruises that still spotted on her body. Her flame colored hair shown dark on the pillow as he lay above her. He quickly discarded the rest of his clothing and joined Donna on the bed. He placed himself between her thighs. He gently tested her readiness by laying his hand on her folds. She was wet and he fingered her for a minute and came away and licked his finger. Her nipples were so hard and aching. He labbed at her left nipple with his tongue and she took her hand from the bedboard to cradle his head. She took his other hand in hers which lie next to her hip and Harvey began to thrust very slowly into her.

"Ah..." Donna sighed and writhed with him as she encouraged him to thrust harder. He felt that response and thrust a little faster and a little harder into her. "Ohhh..." was all Harvey could render as he felt his length being hugged and warmed by Donna's vaginal walls.

Harvey kissed her again and Donna's eyes were open and looked into his and suddenly...

"No, no...!" Donna cried in panic. Suddenly a picture of Mitchell replaced Harvey in her mind remembering how Mitchell tore into her while she was bound to the end table. She felt she was being smothered. She tried to move from underneath Harvey not realizing it was Harvey and not Mitchell but Harvey held her in his grasp hoping to bring her back to the here and now. He was still deeply within her and he noticed the wild look suddenly appear in Donna's eyes and she started to fight him.

Harvey recognized that she was having the beginnings of a panic attack. Harvey was still hard within her and he knew if he could just calm her down that they would both be fine.

"No!"

"Donna, it's me, Harvey. Look into my eyes. Breathe...I would never hurt you. Look in my eyes. Breathe...see me."

"...oh...Harvey," Donna cried softly as her eyes shed tears. Harvey saw one tear escape from her eye and slip down the side of her face. He gently kissed it away.

"Shh..." Harvey comforted. "It's okay."

"No it's not. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

"Donna, there's nothing to forgive."

He kissed her forehead as he started to move off of her. She practically begged for him to stay inside her but his erection was softening laying almost completely outside of her. She couldn't lose him. Instinctively and as lovingly as he could, Harvey stopped moving altogether and just lay on top of her not wanting to insult her by moving away too quickly.

He placed a hand next to her cheek. He smiled a little and kissed her lips gently.

Donna held his hand to her cheek by placing her hand on top of his.

"I'm so sorry, Harvey. I guess I'm not ready yet after all."

Harvey smiled a little and said, "You know we didn't have sex for 12 years except for last weekend. There's no rush. I told you. I'm here for you in every way. Just because I'm not making love to you doesn't mean I'm rushing out of here to bang the first chick who smiles at me."

Harvey rose from between Donna's quivering legs and took her in his arms. He held her tight until she stopped trembling. Eventually, she lay with her head on his chest and her arm around his waist. Both of Harvey's arms encompassed her and he kissed her shining red hair on the top of her head.

"Hey, are you going to come back to my desk?" Harvey softly asked as he placed another kiss on the top of Donna's hair. Although he was disappointed that Donna was not ready, it still felt so right for them to be lying naked here in each other's arms. It was still one of the best finishes to New Year's Eve he had had in a very long time.

"From sex to work, talk about changing the subject, " Donna joked but was glad that he had not been enraged by her not being able to finish what she started.

"What about Gretchen?" Donna wondered looking up at his chin already starting to show a need to be shaved.

"Gretchen is fine working for Louis like I said before. Did you know that she knew Norma?"

"I actually did not know that," Donna admitted. At first, she only spoke a couple of words with Gretchen because Donna herself was unknowingly feeling resentment that Harvey had actually found a replacement for her. Gretchen had told Donna the story of how eventually her little girl would stop crying when she took her to school and that Gretchen was the one who had to realize it was time for her little girl to grow up. Gretchen used it as a methaphor for Donna's relationship with Harvey. Donna's transition to Louis' secretary had been so quick that Donna had not had time to realize what that really meant in terms of being intimate with Harvey and his affairs. Gretchen understood that and now she and Gretchen could grow their relationship from there. Norma probably told Gretchen all kinds of gossip from the office. No wonder why she applied for the job to be Harvey Specter's secretary although the advertisement did not say which partner needed a secretary.

"Donna, if you agree to come back to my desk, what happens to this?"

"You mean my rule?" Donna asked propping herself on one elbow and looking at Harvey straight in the eye.

"Yes, does this mean that we stop this?" Harvey smirked, waving his index finger between the two of them, hoping that she was as committed to _them_ as he was now.

Donna lay her head back on Harvey's chest and lightly traced his pecs with her finger.

"Well, we definitely can't go back to the way it was between us for 12 years after this. I couldn't take it. We can focus on work during the day and whatever else after, right?"

"Let's test it. You come back to me for a month and if it seems like I'm taking you for granted or not want your company except for sex then you have every reason to go back to Louis so the distance will make me appreciate you again."

"What the hell kind of test is that?" Donna asked rising and sitting up next to him. She could see his Chesire cat smile and saw the sarcasm in his eyes, so she would really let him know what she wanted. So many times in their banter did they actually say what they meant only for each other, but encased it in terms of relating to the others with whom they had been involved at the time.

"How about we take it one step at a time? I will come back to your desk and Gretchen, since you say she doesn't mind, will continue to work for Louis. We'll take it one day at a time." Donna said feeling sleepy from the champagne and exhaustion from earlier starting to feed into her.

"Harvey?" Donna inquired as she turned over with her back to him.

"What is it?" Harvey asked lying down spooning himself into her. He could feel her relax into him and he was becoming hard again much to his dismay as he did not want to scare her again. He was going to say something then he heard her silky voice.

"It's ok. I want you, too. Let's try again..."

Later on New Year's Day morning, Donna woke from having the absence of Harvey's warmth beside her. She felt behind her and could only feel the wet spot left from Harvey's orgasm a few hours ago. She smiled because she had been able to perform last night after all. She almost had another panic attack but Harvey had entered her from behind as they had lain side by side. He whispered his love for and he gently buried himself deeply inside her that she lie impaled by him. Eventually they changed position and she had become a little panicky but Harvey stayed with her gently commanding she look into his eyes. He breathed again with her and she allowed him to finish taking her with him in a very sweet coordinated way. They had ridden together into ecstasy and, later, both lie still cocooned together panting and waiting for their hearts to stop racing and then they calmly went to sleep.

However, where was Harvey now? Did he do his "old get up and leave in the middle of the night" and all that crap about being in it for the long haul was just lip service? Their lovemaking (it had become more than just sex between them) was so sweet she could not think he was faking it. She had hoped not.

She rose from the bed and put on her black negligee as cover. The clock on the bedstand read 10:00 am. It was little chilly in the room or after leaving the warm bed she noticed it more. She was not sure, but she needed to find Harvey. The bathroom door was shut and she could feel steam coming from the slit in the doorway. There was Harvey dressed in only a towel around his waist which accentuated the lovely round mounds of Harvey's ass. He was brushing his teeth and saw her in the mirror. He spit into the sink, rinsed his mouth, wiped his face on another towel, and then kissed Donna as he walked back into the room.

He stepped back noting her shock and pointing to it commanded, "Read it."

Donna looked at the writing in lipstick on the mirror. It was Harvey's handwriting all right. The mirror itself was very large and covered one entire wall of the large bathroom. The writing covered almost half of it.

"Harvey?" Donna called to him.

"Yes."

"You didn't use my favorite shade of lipstick, did you?"

"No, I had found one left in my bathroom, so I brought it with me just for this occasion."

Donna shook her head and then said to herself, "He was planning to write me a lipstick message. How strange...and wonderful."

 ** _Good Morning and Happy New Year, Donna_**

 ** _Waking up with you in my arms is all I ever need. Last night was wonderful. Better than ever...never be afraid to tell me what you want. You usually never did, so don't start now. I am looking forward to the next 100 years with you._**

 ** _I know this is long winded, but I'm a lawyer. What can I say?_**

 ** _Except...wait for it...Would you marry me?_**

 ** _Love_**

 ** _Harvey_**

Donna held her hand to her mouth and almost screamed from the shock. She didn't think he was ready for a committed relationship let alone marriage. As she looked down at the counter, next to her toothbrush was a little velvet box. With shaking hands, Donna picked it up and opened it. She put her hand to her mouth again and tears came unbidden to her eyes. "Holy shit!" she muttered as she gazed at the large tearshaped diamond set in a platinum.

"Was that a good holy shit or a bad holy shit?" Harvey wondered as he came back to the bathroom door to gauge her reaction. He had put on his jeans and a sweater. He stood there grinning from ear to ear.

Donna backed away speechless.

"Do you really mean it? Because I have always dreamt that one day you would come to your senses and grow up and ask me to really become your wife since it's like we have been married for the last 12 years anyway. I just really never thought I would live to see this day while I was still young enough to have a baby."

Harvey became serious again, walked to her, and took the ring from her and placed it on her finger. As he looked at her, his expression was intense and deadly serious.

"Yes, I meant every word of it. I love you, Donna Paulsen. I finally know that I do want someone constant in my life and I want a family and I want them with you." He then took her into his arms and held her tightly cradling her head against his chest. He was so happy that his eyes almost burst with tears.

"So what do you say?" Harvey asked allowing her to lay back in his embrace so he could see her answer.

Looking up at him, she smiled. She was so glad no one was filming this moment because she knew she looked horrible with mussed hair and smudged make up and still some bruising showing said, "Yes, I would love to _really_ be Mrs. Harvey Specter."


	17. Chapter 17

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 17

 _A few weeks later early March 2016..._

Donna sat at her new/old desk outside Harvey's office. After she had agreed to come back to his desk, she also decided to return to work the week after New Year's Eve. She estimated the bruises on her face would be almost gone and anything lingering could be cleverly disguised in makeup. She stopped in the middle of typing her document and put her hand to her stomach. She really should have eaten something this morning. Donna closed her eyes and then turned her chair around to see into Harvey's office although she could hear the whole conversation over the intercom. He was still with a new prospective client who had contacted the firm regarding IPO advice. He looked busy, so Donna rose from her chair to escape to the kitchen to grab a breakfast bar and another cup of coffee. It was only 10:00 am and she had had two cups already.

As she walked she smiled at the changes that had occurred in the last couple of months. After the wonderful New Years' Eve holiday, Harvey and Donna spent most days and nights together. Usually they spent the weekday nights at his place emulating the routine they used to share in his office late at night, but the weekends were usually spent at her place where they would stay home, curl up on the couch together, and take turns watching movies or watching basketball or hockey. Basketball games for Harvey and hockey games for Donna who had grown up a Hartford Whalers fan but since the team was now defunct changed her allegiance to the New York Rangers. Otherwise they were doing activities together: movies, official company cocktail parties, and a visit to Harvey's brother. Odd that last one but Marcus was happy to know that Harvey had finally gotten off his ass and was now where he should have been ever since he met Donna-engaged to be married to her.

"Hey, Gretchen," Donna lightly greeted as she encountered the older black woman in the kitchen grabbing herself a cup of coffee and one Donna assumed was for Louis.

"Hey, how are you red?" Gretchen asked using her nickname for Donna. Donna had thanked her profusely and had bought her a present for the prolonged additional duties as Louis' secretary as well as Harvey's while she recovered from the attack. Harvey as always generous to people who work hard and are loyal to him had given her a bonus as well in order to thank her more fully doing both jobs. Gretchen was happy to be of use and had said she did get a kick out of keeping Mr. Litt on his toes. He was everything that Norma had always said he was.

Donna, on the other hand, was relieved to be back with Harvey. Not that Donna could not handle Louis but she realized that Louis would never be influenced by her like Harvey unless she threatened to leave him for good. Louis, as much as he was disappointed in losing Donna, understood and let her know that there was no hard feelings. Of course in light of what had happened to her, he was only too glad that Harvey had acted like a man and was taking good care of her.

As it was in the last few weeks it was amazing the changes in her relationship with not only Louis but Harvey as well. Harvey had done a lot of growing up in the short interim. Their relationship had gone from complicated sexually charged friends/coworkers to resentful, disappointed friends/co-workers back to good friends/co-workers and now they were loving financees. Through all the issues with Mitchell and his "secret" therapy sessions with Dr. Agard, Harvey had become the "good" man that Donna had always known was just under the surface of his cold unemotional facade he liked to show the world.

Although she had said "yes" a few weeks ago, Harvey and she decided that they wanted to keep it quiet about being engaged. So, Donna did not wear her beautiful three carat diamond ring, but it sat quietly in Harvey's locked safe in his condo. Harvey had never pushed her, but she could see in his eyes how much he wanted to claim her publicly by wearing the beautiful ring. Donna, in light of the timing, she thought it was just a little too soon.

Donna, suddenly feeling like she was going to keel over and vomit, took a quick seat at one of the small tables.

"Hey, you look a little green around the gills. Can I get you anything?" Gretchen asked kindly placing a hand on Donna's arm which sat on the table.

"I was just coming in here to see if there was a breakfast bar or something. I forgot to eat breakfast this morning. Thank you, Gretchen, but I had better let you get back to Louis. He's not the most patient man in the world," Donna said.

Gretchen smiled back and handed Donna a Strawberry Nutri-Grain bar and a banana.

"Don't worry about him. I know how to handle him. Here, this should stop your nausea and give you both some nutrition until you can get a proper lunch. Tell me, does Harvey know or suspect anything?"

"I'm not pregnant. I just forgot to eat breakfast," Donna said vehemently but shyly looked up at the older woman.

"I've had three children. I know what morning sickness looks like, and I know for sure this isn't the first time you've come in sick," Gretchen said staring at her as Donna attempted to look away from the knowing stare in Gretchen's dark eyes.

"Well, I don't think I am in that way and Harvey is so oblivious to that kind of thing that I could parade around 9 months pregnant and wouldn't notice I had had the baby," Donna sarcastically quipped.

"You trying to convince yourself or me. Do yourself a favor and get a test...just to be sure."

Gretchen patted Donna's arm once more and picking up the two coffee cups proceeded to go back to Louis who was probably running around the office looking for her.

Donna sat at the table in the breakroom and finished her banana, breakfast bar, and started to rise from the table with coffee in hand when Harvey came in and asked where she had gone.

"Here's where you are! I need you to schedule another appointment with Clyde and unfortunately I couldn't find the right forms for him to fill out, so I need you to messenger them right away to him. Well, you have his address, I'm sure," Harvey said in a harsh tone of voice. He never had to say too much to her normally so this was unusual.

"I'm sorry, Harvey. I'm not feeling well this morning, so I just came in here for a minute. I was talking with Gretchen. I guess I was taking longer than I should."

Harvey suddenly feeling bad that he unnecessarily chastised not only his faithful assistant but the woman he loved said, "I knew I should have insisted making breakfast this morning. I heard you puking in the bathroom this morning. You didn't eat last night either. Are you ok?"

"It's probably just a 24 hour bug thing. I'll be ok now. I will go find the forms for you and get them out right away. You have Friday open at 2:00 pm., so I will schedule Mr. Lembeck for you then. Ok?"

"Ok. Listen you know I have trial coming up in about four minutes. We need to do it," Harvey said.

"No problem. How many thumbtacks do we want?" Donna asked knowing he referred to their pretrial ritual which they had resumed when she came back to his desk.

"Three," Harvey answered and looking around sneaked a kiss on Donna's lips.

"Ooo, feeling confident aren't we?"

"Of course, you do know who I am."

Donna sneaked a look around and putting her arm around Harvey's neck whispered with a pout, "How could I ever forget?"

As Donna walked away sashaying her hips, Harvey smiled knowingly and hurriedly followed.

After Harvey ventured to court, Donna went to the file room to finish discovery for the civil suit that Harvey promised Meredith O'Brien. However, he need not have to realize that favor now that Mitchell, wisely, took the advice of his lawyer brother to take the deal the District Attorney had offered him. Mitchell would not only serve ten years for the compulsive sexual assault against Donna Paulsen but would now be facing the loss of his engineering company to pay for compensation for the attempted murder of his ex-wife.

After the incident with Harvey wherein he punched the hell out of him and threw him down the stairs, Mitchell had contacted his brother, Justin, to sue Harvey Specter for assault. However, knowing that it was only retaliation for what Mitchell had done to Harvey's girlfriend and in violation of the restraining order, recommended fiercely that Mitchell take the deal. Mitchell realizing he really had done it this time took the deal and three days later reported to the federal penitentiary to serve his 10 years. Justin had told Mitchell that if it went to trial, the DA would probably have gotten the full 25 year sentence which this Class B Felony - Rape in the First Degree would carry.

When Harvey had visited Meredith to say he was going to fulfill his promise to her, Donna had insisted coming along to see what could have happened to her if circumstances had been just a tad different between her and Mitchell. When she was introduced to Meredith, it took all the strength Donna had not to burst into tears at seeing this paraplegic woman roughly the same age as herself trapped forever in a wheelchair knowing that she would never be able to walk again. It had been two years, Meredith had said, but she was hopeful that with therapy it would enable her to once again use her arms at least.

Donna looked at the side of Harvey's face and she could tell he was furious. His jaw clenched, his nostrils started to flair as he breathed, and his hands which had been folded in front of him sought one of hers to hold. She took his hand and squeezed it because she knew how much he hated injustice. He, then, shook Meredith's hand at the end of the visit as well as her mother's.

"I promise. There is no way he's getting away with the civil suit as he did with the criminal suit. He will be put away for a long time for what he did to Donna and you. Donna or I will let you know when the court date is. Sit tight."

Meredith's mother thanked Harvey profusely. She hugged Donna and mentioned her sorrow at what she had suffered at that man's hands.

Now, as she read some papers from the criminal case, Donna's stomach lurched again. It was now one p.m. and Donna had been feeling a little less nauseated since she had consumed a little bit of nourishment. Donna still did not think she could eat a full lunch, so she had just continued with her research. Suddenly, Donna had ran to the Ladies' Room. Unfortunately she ran right past Rachel who also had come into the file room.

"Are you ok?" Rachel asked as Donna flew by.

"Not now, Rache," Donna said putting a hand up to be sure Rachel did not try to follow her.

Of course, it did not work. Rachel ran quickly into the Ladies' Room and found her best friend sitting on the cushioned bench with her head in her lap.

"Donna, what's going on?"

Donna looked up at her best friend with mascara streaks down her cheeks and mussed lipstick from the strain of vomiting.

"I think I may be pregnant with Mitchell's baby."


	18. Chapter 18

**HI, sorry for the delay in updating! Thank you to all the followers, favoriters, and reviews. It keeps me going!**

It Doesnt' Have To Be That Way - Chapter 18

Harvey strode into the offices which housed not only Mitchell's engineering and advertisement firm but also the law offices of O'Brien, Callison and Hale which just happened to be the firm which was handling the case of Meredith O'Brien vs. Mitchell O'Brien.

The offices were nothing like the glass and chrome offices of Pearson, Specter, Litt as O'Brien, Callison, and Hale were on a much smaller scale and were designed with less glass and more wood lending a more classic law office motif. Harvey walked into the small reception area which was being attended by a pleasant faced petite brunette with big blue eyes. She looked up as the well dressed, handsome man walked toward her desk.

"Mr. Specter, is it?"

"Yes, I have an appointment with Justin O'Brien."

She smiled one more time and said, "I will let him know you are here. Have a seat sir, please. He should not be long."

Harvey smiled and nodded his head and said, "Thank you."

He took a seat and opened his brief case containing the files and evidence gathered in the case to help get some justice for Meredith. Harvey still felt like all the cards were on his side of the table and that this was just a formality as the settlement was fair to Meredith and should not bankrupt Mitchell's firm but it will make it uncomfortable for Mitchell to retake his position as senior partner in his firm once he has served his 10 year sentence. Mitchell, it seemed, had nothing else but his partnership in this firm where the pay in was not as much as PSL but the annual payout from his supposed earnings were over $98,000 per year. Harvey was suing on behalf of his client for the past two years' earnings and future earnings for the next five years which would amount to approximately $700,000 to be paid in annuities plus damages suffered as the insurance company refused to pay medical bills at the time of the accident which would amount to another $360,000. Harvey did not think they would go for this but he was not above negotiating. Negotiating was Harvey's forte. He wanted to negotiate for even a better deal...if he could.

"Mr. Specter, Mr. O'Brien will see you now," Clarice, Justin's pretty secretary, came out to escort Harvey into Justin's office.

They shook hands and made their greetings. Justin then cleared his throat.

"Let me say, Mr. Specter, I wish we could have met under better circumstances. I am very sorry for what my brother did to Ms. Paulsen. However, Meredith's case was settled already two years ago. I'm not sure what good it will do Mitchell's firm if you are manuevering to give his pay both past and present to an ex-wife for whom the court could not find my brother guilty of pushing her out a fourth floor window," Justin said wasting no time what Mitchell's position was because Justin knew Harvey's reputation and did not want to feel Harvey was bullying him into an untenable position.

"Well, let's say this. Thank God for double jeopardy because I would gladly try Meredith's case again in a criminal court just to get your brother another criminal sentence for attempted murder on top of the one he is serving for criminal sexual assault and battery," Harvey said staring at the smaller man incredulously.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Specter, but I am not about to settle this kind of sum on a woman who doesn't deserve one penny from my brother's firm."

Harvey shook his head.

"Don't insult my intelligence, Mr. O'Brien. I have spoken with Meredith and her previous lawyer who I am sorry to say was not as smart as I am. Meredith told me of the witness tampering. Plus she knew of the quickie divorce that Mitchell obtained two days before the start of the trial in order for Meredith or Meredith's family to not due what she is now doing: sueing your brother for over a million dollars."

"We did not witness tamper. We may have influenced who was to be picked for the jury, but as you know that is a privilege of defense and prosecuting counsel."

"I have copies of cancelled checks and travel arrangement itineraries saying different."

"How did you find those?"

"It doesn't matter how I found them only that I found them. So, Justin, you seem to be a much more decent man than your brother what do you say we sign this deal and neither you nor your brother will ever have to hear from Meredith ever again." Harvey smiled and handed the settlement papers for Justin's proxy signature.

"I must run these by my brother first. I do have his power of attorney but I think it's only fair what he will and will not have once he is released from prison," Justin said.

"You have 24 hrs. If you don't sign, I get $2000 added to the settlement costs." Harvey said and gathering his brief case stood up and said, "I look forward to hearing from you."

 _Meanwhile back in the ladies room at Pearson Specter Litt..._

Rachel's face showed the shock at Donna's comment as she came to sit next to her on the padded bench.

"Isn't there a chance it could be Harvey's and not Mitchell's?" Rachel asked hoping against hope that this baby was created from the love of her boss and her best friend.

Donna nodded. Her beautiful red hair falling forward in the process. She swung her head back up and brushed her hair away from her face and took a breath.

"Yes, it could be Harvey's, too. He won't believe me, though, if I tell him I might be pregnant."

Rachel shook her head now. "Why?"

"Because I lied to him and told him that I was on the pill. It was one of those afterglow moments you don't think about repercussions from unprotected sex."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm heading to the drug store for a pregnancy test and then see what I can do about a DNA test."

"I know they can be performed rather early in your pregnancy, but does that not risk miscarriage?"

Donna threw her hands up in the hair and violently shook her head back and forth.

"At this point, I don't have much choice."

"Donna, you're not thinking of...abortion if it's not Harvey's, are you?"

Donna just continued to shake her head and then started to weep.

"I want Harvey's baby, but I am not sure I could raise it if was conceived from the rape...Oh, Rachel, what I am going to do?"

Donna put an arm around Donna's shoulders and they put their heads together in comfort.

"Either way, we take it one day at a time and I think you should at least tell Harvey one way or the other."

Donna just remained silent and scared.

To be sure Donna darted to the drug store and picked up three pregnancy tests. She darted back to the 50th floor ladies' room at Pearson Specter Litt and peed on the stick of test #1 and then peed in a cup and dipped the stick in the pee for test #2 and then she peed on the stick of test #3 and inserted it into the little readout computer.

She gathered herself together and sat on the commode alone in the stall with all three tests resting on the toilet paper holder. _Ping!_ The alarm on Donna's phone sounded to let her know that five minutes had passed and it was time to read her results. As she lifted her head, she saw that test #1 the stick said "Pregnant" clear as day. The second test result also reflected the same answer having a little blue + sign in the corner. The third test Donna picked up the little flat plate and a big red + sign showed in the center of the answer circle.

Donna now confirmed her condition, but she was still going to her doctor to tell him about what happened to her. Also to say since the two incidences were so close together that she really and desperately needed a DNA test.

As she was leaving the stall with tests in hand, she looked up and there was Harvey scaring the bejesus out of her. Why he insisted on insinuating himself in the ladies' room was beyond her. Donna knew, of course, knew that he had needed something of her and needed it immediately.

"Harvey, need I remind you? This is the ladies' room," Donna said putting a hand to her heart still. The hand that held the pregnancy tests.

"I know. This is my firm and I can go anywhere I damn where please."

"What are you accosting strange women now? Because I'm pretty sure I'm more than you could handle," she bantered with him in her usual form.

"I handle you just fine. Look I really need you to do something for me in light of Meredith's case. My other case in court today was successful as usual." He tried to fist pump her, but Donna left him hanging giving him a _"What are you 5?"_ stare. He put his hand down and waited for a snappy rejoinder.

"Of course, you brought them down to earth, but what about Meredith's case?"

"I emailed some notes for the addendum to the settlement papers in the event that Mitchell's firm doesn't take the deal. "

"Why wouldn't they take the deal? It certainly bodes whatever the alternative may be," Donna mentioned to Harvey.

"Well, we'll see. By the way, what are those items you have behind your back?"

Donna had quickly put the test behind her back after Harvey had startled her.

"Nothing," she tried to say nonchalantly.

Harvey then tried to reach back for them, and she backed up. By this time when she backed up, she hit the bathroom wall and accidentally dropped all three tests and Harvey, never liking when anyone tried to keep secrets from him, rounded on Donna.

"Are those what I think they are? How long have you suspected you were pregnant, Donna? Were you ever going to tell me or were you going to avoid me for nine months until the kid goes to law school?!"

"Harvey, calm down. I do not want to discuss this now. We need to talk about this in a calm manner when we can be alone. Can you come over my place tonight?"

"No, you're coming home with me tonight and we will discuss this. Right now I need you to get back to work."

Donna looked back at Harvey for sympathy or an apology for his tone, but, of course, he did not lend any to her. Placing a disappointed scowl on her own face letting Harvey know that he was out of line at least with the woman he supposedly loves. She immediately left the bathroom and let him stew by himself and hopefully when they did leave together that night they could create a good plan of action against the unexpected development in her belly and still love one another.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi! I apologize for the long update on this but I started a new job and it really wears me out. So this is the first of two updates. I'm also working on three fics at once. My other Suits and one for BATB original. Please R & R. Love you - Carebearmaxi**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 19

At 7:30 pm that evening, Harvey finally told Donna that they were going home.

"Harvey, do you really think I should go back to your place tonight? You don't seem to be in the mood for company. I am very tired. I just want to go home and sleep," Donna said wearily knowing that Harvey would not be good company tonight if indicated by his self mounted emotionless wall he erected earlier in the day.

Harvey looking up at Donna and with a quiet ominous tone to his voice said, "There's no way you're not going home without me tonight, Donna. You know we have something to discuss and I am not putting it off!"

Harvey had been belligerent all day and Donna was afraid that if she told him she was pregnant he would definitely not think the child might be his. As it stood right now, Donna was not sure herself as she had not spoken to her doctor yet. She set an early appointment for tomorrow morning. Her doctor stated that he would rush her results since he had been her doctor for a very long time.

"Ok, Harvey," Donna said raising her arms in the air and the letting them drop to her sides. "However, could you please not be mad the entire night?" Donna asked.

In the two second silence that followed, Harvey smirked up at Donna sighed heavily and said, "I'm sorry. I should not have taken my fear out on you. You know how I am. I thought you might be keeping something from me when I saw the pregnancy tests. I panicked inside. I know we have a lot of things to discuss let alone the results."

Donna smiled. A few years ago, Harvey's wall would never have fallen that easily. He would have ridden roughshod all over her feelings until she forgot and went on without thinking. She knew he had grown and changed. In reward for making her feel better, she bent over his desk and kissed him on the lips to which Harvery smiled feeling loved instead of bitter toward the amazing woman who stood in front of his desk.

"Thank you, Harvey. Now I feel like we can discuss this like grownups."

Harvey gave a little laugh and then his phone text tone sounded. "Ray just text me. He's waiting at the curb. Let's get out of here!"

Harvey helped Donna with her overcoat and then he put on his. He slowly wound the scarf around his neck and stared at Donna as she tied the tie of her woolen coat and flipped her hair out from underneath. He thought in that moment that he could look at her forever and never tire of her beauty.

When they both looked like they were venturing into the tundra instead of a nice warm car, they departed the 50th floor together. Harvey accompanied Donna with his arm warm around her waist. He liked being able to show her affection. He felt he should apologize again for his behavior earlier in the day. Perhaps, he could make it up to her by cooking her a nice dinner or taking her out somewhere. He would think of something. One thing their new relationship did offer him was the freedom of expressing his love for her openly and his renewed sense of possessiveness he had always felt toward her.

They rode in silence to Harvey's condo which was swiftly becoming Donna's as well. She had been slowly moving her things over to his place, but with the revelation that she may be carrying another man's baby she really wanted to retreat to her place. She still paid the rent on her place; mainly, because Harvey had never mentioned anything about permanence. Donna did not really expect him, too, since the fact they were together was still new and scary for him. Once or twice he had mentioned she was "it" for him, Donna was not taking it seriously knowing that Harvey could feel betrayed all at once and cut her off without even thinking about it so hurt would he be.

"Are you hungry?" Harvey asked kindly.

"No, I can't really keep anything down right now."

"Donna, how long have you really been feeling this nauseated?" Harvey asked concerned. He took a good look at her in the dim light of his apartment. She seemed paler than usual and her beautiful green eyes had bags under them. Harvey knew it could not have been from staying up all night making love because they both had been too busy for that every night since Donna had returned to work a few weeks ago.

"About a couple of weeks now. I was able to surpress it or it went away by itself, but lately it's just getting worse and worse," Donna said with a sad smile.

"Ok, then dinner's out because I'm not really hungry now either. So I say let's talk about the elephant in the room."

Donna took a seat and Harvey offered her a glass of Scotch to which Donna refused.

"Oh, I see now. Those pregnancy tests were really yours. You're pregnant. Am I right?" Harvey said sourly sitting across from her in his chair.

Donna hesitated and then said, "I wasn't thinking of being pregnant until the other morning. I was violently ill that morning and vomited all the contents of my stomach. I thought I had caught a bug and then Gretchen saw me and she knew I had not been feeling well for some time, so she suspected I was pregnant."

"Did you miss your...you know... period, Donna?" Harvey asked uncomfortably. Coming from a family where there was only men, women's stuff was never mentioned.

Donna hung her head. She could not look at him now.

"Yes, it is two weeks overdue."

Harvey took a swig of his drink and let the scotch burn down through his esophagus. This was not he wanted to happen right now. He may want children someday with Donna but not right now. They were just newly together as a couple although they had acted like they had been a couple for years. Then it dawned on Harvey that the child may not be his but a result of the rape. The baby could be Mitchell's. _That SOB_! With a sudden adult revelation, Harvey realized that this baby may not be what _Donna_ had not wanted either at the moment since the baby could be a product of Mitchell's attack.

Harvey hooded his eyes and then asked Donna very seriously and quietly, "Donna, do you think the baby could be Mitchell's?"

A tear escaped Donna's eye. "I hope not. I want it to be ours. Conceived in love not from some heinous act."

"Would you or could you love a baby as a result of rape?" Harvey asked with difficulty. In order to remain objective, he reduced Donna in his mind to just another witness answering a difficult question. This was typically hard because the answerer was the woman he loved and the child in question may be his.

"Harvey, I don't even know how pregnant I am. It could be yours and it could be Mitchell's. You know we made love in the Lexus the day before I got raped."

"You never slept with Mitchell before he raped you?"

"No. Never. You know that. I told you that," Donna said squinting her eyes in disbelief that this man whom she loved consumedly could ask her that question. Then she realized what was happening. In order for Harvey to deal with this shit, he had to be the cold lawyer again not her boyfriend.

"I didn't want to sleep with him until I could bring him a full heart," Donna said. "Because for some reason I was still hoping that you would find the courage to tell me how you really loved me. You have been in my heart for so long. That's one reason why I left your desk for Louis'. I felt I needed to not be constantly involved with you because you did not seem to want me that way although you said you loved me. So that is one reason why I have not been able to find a lover and keep him because you always come to the forefront when I have _that_ decision to make. You were and are the only one stuck in my heart making any future decision difficult."

Harvey felt justly chastised for his part in Donna's change of heart earlier in the year when he had told her he loved her but now how. However, he was trying to make it up to her. Had he succeeded? He thought he had, so far at least. He could still muck it up especially now when Donna needed him most.

Harvey squinted his eyes and then said, "Wait, Donna. Did you not tell me you were on the pill? How would you get pregnant in the first place?"

"I lied a little white lie. I haven't been on the pill for a year. I, basically, had no sex life; so I didn't think it was no longer necessary for me to keep polluting my body with those synthetic hormone suppressants," Donna stated matter of factly.

Harvey sat there looking at the amber liquid swirling at the bottom of his tumbler. Donna, at the mention of their time in the car from only a few weeks ago allowed a smile to crease Harvey's face. That was the high point of his sex life. He had never had anything remotely that mind blowing with anyone else. Not even Scottie whom he thought he had loved like a prospective mate. The memory removed some additional residual anger from Harvey's mind as he dared to think that the baby may have been conceived from that rather hot steamy evening in the car as they rode through Manhattan. However, Harvey's lawyer's pragmatic brain suddenly returned to the fact that the child could well have been conceived from the next night.

Looking from the bottom of his glass up to Donna's worried face across from him, he honestly said, "I'm not sure I could raise another man's baby let alone if the child is mine. You know me, Donna."

"So you're saying I should just get an abortion regardless whether it's yours or Mitchell's. I may not discover the truth until it's too late to get an abortion. I could put the baby up for adoption if I don't think I could love it," Donna said defensively chafing her arms.

Although Harvey's fireplace was blazing and it was mid March, Donna felt cold. She felt he was almost blaming her for the baby. She wished Harvey would realize she was not crazy about these new turn of events and come over to her and hold her tight, but she knew he was still digesting his own shock to really care about what was happening with her right now. To be fair, with the exception of being nasty all day today in the office, he had been more caring and loving than she had ever expected from him.

"I have an appointment with my obgyn early tomorrow morning. I am going to explain the issue and see how fast I can have a DNA test."

Harvey took a last swig of his scotch and looked up as Donna uttered her next words.

"Would you be willing to submit a DNA sample they can use for comparison?" Donna asked hoping that something would break the wall which crumbling slowly but still existed between them.

Harvey looked at Donna and smiled, "Of course, I will. Once we get the results we'll know what to do."

Harvey then put down his now empty glass and joined Donna on the couch. He put his arms around her and she put her head on his shoulder. He relaxed back against the couch with Donna lying within the protective circle of his arms. He placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"No matter what. I'm with you. I don't want to lose you. Just remember how much I love you," Harvey said softly speaking with all his heart in his throat almost imperceptibly into her hair.

Donna had heard it, and a grateful tear escaped from her eye once again. _She really had to do something about these damn hormones!_ She then raised her head and placed a hand on Harvey's chest and felt his heartbeat. The sublime expression on his face and the feeling of his quickening heartbeat under her fingertips gave her comfort and she felt at ease for the first time that day.

The next day, Donna trod to her doctor's office and Harvey accompanied her. Although he was due in court, Donna was able to work her magic and obtain a continuance. Judge O'Leary loved Donna. She had him wrapped around her little finger. Judge O'Leary was not a Harvey fan, however. Judge O'Leary had been on the bench since Harvey had been a successful ADA. However, the Judge had always thought that Harvey's bullish style did more to intimidate people to do his will than to really stop criminals or win corporate cases. On the other hand, Judge O'Leary's admiration of Harvey's secretary was partially because he admired her way of handling Harvey and being able to suffer his bullshit could not be easy. So, the judge would probably walk to the ends of the earth on hot coals in bare feet if Donna requested it. Hence, the reason why both Harvey and Donna sat together in the Obgyn's office awaiting the results of her pregnancy test instead of Harvey calling up a witness in his present court battle.

"Ms. Paulsen," the nurse receptionist said. "The doctor has your results."

She and Harvey walked to the doctor's office door hand in hand. Harvey was convinced that the baby was his. He had not seriously considered the consequences if the child were not his or knew what to do next if that baby Donna carried turned out not to be his. Harvey reiterated many times to his clients and others when the situation was applicable that one doesn't get married just because they got knocked up. However, the same he felt did not apply to him in this situation. This was Donna. The one woman who had always owned his heart and the one who could exhilarate and thrill him and the same woman who could exasperate him and terrify him all at once. What would he do if the child is _not_ his? Donna was his whole world. Without her he would again crumble into that abyss where his vulnerability was shown to all the world.

"Well, you are about seven weeks along from what you told me. An ultrasound would be more conclusive. We could do that right now if you really want to know how far along you are," said the doctor kindly.

"Can we put it off until maybe next time? Here's the reason why I am not anxious to see my baby right now. The timing falls into place with what I suspected," Donna said.

Then, Donna asked, "Dr. Simpson, I need to ask you a question?"

"Yes, Donna, what is it?"

"Is it possible to do a DNA test on the baby this early? You see this baby may have been conceived from when I was raped a few weeks ago; however..."

"The child could be mine as well," Harvey interjected bravely. "Donna and I were together the day before she was raped."

Donna smiled at how Harvey had stood up and commanded the doctor's attention and his own part in their little scenario.

Dr. Simpson now fully understood the need. However he had his own moral standards before he could just consent to giving his patient a DNA test.

"Donna, Mr. Specter, it is possible to do a DNA test as early as eight weeks; however, you must understand that by doing that you do run the risk of a miscarriage. Donna, you are in your early 40's and this is your first pregnancy. You are already in the high risk category of having a routine pregnancy and uncomplicated birth. By saying this, I also want you to know where I stand on abortion. I will not perform an abortion if the DNA does not match Mr. Specter's. I can recommend someone who can perform this if you should choose not to want the baby if it was conceived in the rape. However, if the DNA tests should not decisively conclude that Mr. Specter is the father, I would prefer you to put your baby up for adoption. The child nor the prospective adoptive parents would never know how it was conceived, but if adopted it would have all the love it would need to be a successful and well developed person.

Dr. Simpson rose from his place behind the desk and sat in front on it immediately in front of Donna and Harvey.

"Please be sure to think about this carefully. Come back next week and I will have the appropriate test ready."

Harvey rose and shook Dr. Simpson's hand. "Thank you, doctor. That's all we can ask for."

Donna rose as well and smiled and murmured her thank you and after leaving the doctor's inner office made her appointment with the nurse for her test next week.

Harvey and Donna rode back to work in silence. Both he and Donna had to do some serious soul searching before the results from the following week's DNA tests ever came back. They both knew this and when Harvey and Donna arrived back at the office, he traveled with her to the fiftieth floor holding her hand tightly in his.

"Now, I am phoning Ray and telling him to be here at 5:00 pm on the button. You are to go home with him," Harvey commanded Donna.

"It's ok, Harvey. I can stay to help you," Donna protested. The last thing she wanted was to be away from him. She wanted to fall asleep in his arms again and feel his love encircling her. Now that she had had a taste of his affection and relished it she found it hard to be away from him. She had spent almost 13 years 10 feet away from him not being able to touch him or, he her, and it killed the both of them not to seek that affection every minute of the day.

"I'll be home as soon as I can. I need to see someone before I come home tonight. I promise I won't be too late."

When Donna left her cubicle to run an errand, Harvey who had literally stared at his computer screen for forty-five minutes dialed Dr. Paula Agard's phone.

"Harvey, how nice to hear your voice. How are you?"

"Could you be available for an emergency session? I need to run something by someone with an objective viewpoint."

"Well, will it cause you to have more panic attacks if I say I am not available?"

"No, I just really need to speak to an objective person about something happening in my life at the moment."

"Sure, Harvey, do you want to come by now?"

"Yes," Harvey said with obvious relief in his voice. "I'll be right there."

"You'd better bring a big fat check with you because this one is going to cost you extra," joked Dr. Agard.


	20. Chapter 20

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 20

Harvey knocked on Dr. Agard's door.

"Harvey, you know you did not have to knock. You were the only I was expecting to see come through the door."

Harvey came through the door holding a check. "I was just trying to be polite," Harvey said mock humbly.

Dr. Agard accepted the check and then said, "Take a seat Harvey."

Putting the check in her desk and saw that Harvey was settled in his usual seat, Paula came across to her seat and asked, "Ok, what is this pressing issue you needed my viewpoint on? Is it to do with the firm or personal?"

Harvey hesitated not sure because Donna and the firm were so closely entwined in his life.

"Both, actually," he answered. "I just need a little guidance."

"Ok, is it Donna again? Are you having panic attacks again?" Dr. Agard said trying to pull information from him. She knew she just had to be a little more patient and Harvery would eventually spill. He just needed a little warm probing.

"No, I'm not having panic attacks and, yes, it is about Donna," Harvey stated.

"I thought you and she were on better terms, now." Dr. Agard said squinting at him with a quizzical look hoping that Donna had not done something else which would upset Harvey's new found faith in himself to fight for what he wanted.

"We are. We're on the best of terms. As a matter of fact, I asked her to marry me on New Years' Day. She seems to have forgotten it, though, in the light of the latest developments," Harvey looked down and smiled out the side of his mouth remembering how much he loved her and glad that they were now "together" despite all the problems with the rape and the following pregnancy.

"I met her, you know," Dr. Agard interjected before Harvey could continue.

"When did that happen?"

"She came here looking for you after the session we had during the day of the firm vote."

"Did she? I didn't even know she knew about you. She never mentioned you."

"She's a beautiful woman and uncannily perceptive like you said. She also said that "you have no idea what you're missing." I'm assuming this has a lot to do with Donna and not the firm."

"Yes." Harvey said finding it hard to say what he came there to say.

"Ok, Harvey, I see there is really an issue here. Tell me first about you and Donna."

Harvey looked up and said, "Well, we're together...as a couple. I love her so much. We're happy. Like I said I even asked her to marry me. Gave her a ring. We've delayed telling anybody these last few weeks because of what happened. Although she wouldn't wear my ring right now, we were happy together until..."

"Congratulations on you and Donna. She loves you very much. It was so easy to see the night I met her. However, tell me the whole story because you said you were happy together until..."

"Let me start at the beginning since we've only been a couple for a few months."

Dr. Agard nodded.

Harvey went on: "It was Christmas Eve. Pearson, Specter, Litt allows employees a half day before the Christmas holiday. So, Donna came to my office to give me a gift and to wish me a Merry Christmas. I had asked her what her plans were and she said that Mitchell, her boyfriend, was picking her up and taking her to see his parents in New Jersey. I had no plans myself, so I had invited her for a drink to which she said she had not had the time. So we left and I wound up at my favorite bar looking around and just nursing a scotch. I caught the eye of a cute brunette half my age that I thought I could seduce, take home, and drown my loneliness in some empty minded sex."

"So I take it, that's not what happened."

"No, I heard a woman crying and a familiar voice speaking to the waiter across the room and here was Donna. She was sitting all alone and I can never bear to hear or see her cry, so I took myself over to her side of the room and be a friend to her and see if I could help. That's when she told me Mitchell broke up with her and she was not going to see him that night and she would have to go to Christmas dinner at her sister's new apartment without him. I asked her if she wanted to go home with me and I would cook her a meal and spend a few hours together like the good friends we are."

"I assume you went home together and you immediately fell into bed because Harvey I don't think that was such a good idea..."

Harvey got up and put a splayed hand in front of Dr. Agard's face to stave her off jumping to any more opinionated conclusions.

"Wait. We did not just go back to my place and fall into bed. I made her dinner and we talked and she told me about she and Mitchell. Then she told me she wanted me and I told her exactly how much I wanted to "make love" to her not just sex. We've been together pretty much since," Harvey said hoping that Dr. Agard still believed how much he loved his fiancee.

"So, then in a week you were engaged but Donna and you did not want to advertise it. Is that the issue, Harvey, because I would say..."

"Wait! No. That was totally agreeable to she and me, but that's not what is troubling me."

Dr. Agard slapped her crossed legs and then uncrossed her legs and threw her hands up in the air and stated, " Harvey I truly appreciate this picture you have painted, but please let me know what is the issue that you think I can help with."

"Well, we went back to work the Monday after Christmas having spent the entire weekend alone. Donna told her sister she was sick and we stayed in my condo the entire weekend. We went back to work and that Monday night I had Ray take us back to my condo where we just picked up where we left off. Then the night after that I had a partner's meeting. I had instructed Donna to call Ray when she wanted to go home and he would gladly take her back to her apartment because I knew she needed to go back to her place and pick up a few things," Harvey said starting to pace back and forth in front of the couch where he usually sat during sessions.

Dr. Agard followed him back and forth with her eyes anticipating that they were getting to the crux of the matter.

"Tell me, Harvey. What happened?"

Harvey resumed his seat and lowered his head. His hands were tightly clenched in front of his body. When he looked up to relay this information, tears threatened to fall from his deep brown eyes.

"Mitchell...well. Let me tell you this first. Sometime during the weekend Donna took a phone call from Mitchell wherein he was apologizing for not taking her with him to see his parents. Donna replied that she understood and told him not to worry and that she would have lunch with him after the holiday. She had lunch with him the Monday afternoon we returned to work," Harvey explained.

"Is she still working for Louis?"

"Then, she was. We had not discussed her coming back to work for me yet. During the lunch on Monday after Christmas, she told Mitchell about us."

"I gather he was not receptive to that. I'm sure he felt like he had been used."

"Yes, he did. However, Donna had never slept with him or promised him anything. She told him about us. She even said that she had explained our complicated relationship and how we always were in love with each other but never did anything...or I never did anything about it until recently."

"Do you believe Donna when she told you she had never slept with him?"

Harvey looked at Dr. Agard like she had grown four heads, "Of course, I do. Donna and I are always brutally honest with each other when it comes to former lovers or others."

"Which is probably why she has never been able to have a relationship without considering her love for you. She loves you consumedly." Dr. Agard said trying to foresee with what issue Harvey struggled.

"That Monday we went home together and everything was fine. The next night we went home together and everything was wonderful. That Wednesday, I had a partners' meeting so it was going to be a late night. So I told Donna to call Ray and have him take her back to her apartment because I knew she had wanted to pick up a few things before she would come back and be with me."

At this juncture, Harvey rose again and said, "Well, I find out that Donna never called Ray to take her back to her apartment but took a taxi instead. When she arrived back in her apartment she finds Mitchell there when she turns on the light in her living room. Donna wondered how he got in because she had said she never gave him a key. The next door neighbor let him in after he told her a story about being her brother. Donna has no brothers. She two sisters!"

Harvey became agitated as he went on. Through clenched teeth he told Paula Agard what happened next.

"Oh my God, Harvey. Is Donna ok?"

"She was so frightened, but she's a fighter and she's back for the most part until a couple of days ago."

"Is she still having nightmares, panic attacks or anything?"

"She still has nightmares every once in a while. She hasn't had a panic attack since the first time we made love after the rape. Now, I never pressured her to make love after the rape. I said I would wait for her no matter how long it took. She's a fighter like I said and she wanted to come back to herself as fast as she could. That's when I asked her to marry me. I asked her on New Year's Day and she said yes."

"So what happened a few days ago to put a damper on the engagement although I know you said you were both reticent in saying anything at this point."

"She's pregnant and the baby may not be mine. It might be Mitchell's when we calculated the timing. You see we made love the day before she was raped by Mitchell. My issue and hers is that we're not sure if we would be able to love a baby knowing it was conceived from rape."

"Oh, dear, Harvey. I'm so sorry. I suppose you have considered DNA tests?"

Harvey sat back down and said, "Yes, but Donna's doctor warned her that at this point it could cause a miscarriage. She's already high risk from her age."

"I see now what the problem is. You're not sure if you want to raise another man's child if the DNA doesn't match yours. Would you still marry Donna if she decides to keep a child that is not yours?"

"Donna has also indicated that she may not want a child knowing how it was conceived. She has said that she may want to give it up for adoption if she finds out too late to have an abortion."

"An abortion. How far along is she?"

"Seven weeks from what the doctor said. He said he could perform a test next week when she's eight weeks but even then the results may not be conclusive."

"Who's helping Donna with her decision? Has she told any of her family?"

"No. I'm the only one who knows she's pregnant beside her best friend and the other secretary. Although I'm sure Rachel told Mike by now."

"How would you feel if Donna decides to have the baby and keep it? Suppose you have a test done when the baby is born and you find out it isn't yours? What do you think you would do?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm here. I need you to help me find where I am on this."

"Well, Harvey, all I can tell you is that I know you love Donna very, very much. Is it worth losing her all over again if this baby is not yours and Donna decides to keep it? Remember she is the one who has to carry the child, feel it within her. If she grows to hate this child, she may not be the person with whom you thought she was and love."

"I would not blame her if she wanted to get rid of it knowing how it may have been conceived. I know, though, she wants the baby to be mine...I do, too. As a matter of fact, I almost convinced myself of it when I walked with her into the doctor's office."

"You're getting pretty good at these selfless acts, Harvey. I think you finally realized that the world does not revolve around the mighty Harvey Specter. I'm rather proud of you."

Harvey laughed a little and smiled. He almost said thank you but he realized that he was still troubled by "the issue".

"So what do I do, doc?" Harvey asked sitting down and hanging his head.

"I think you know what to do. Have the tests...and follow your heart and Donna's wishes. You have finally received for what you fought. Don't let that go. Whatever you do. When the tests results come, follow your hearts."

Despite what he had told Donna, Harvey arrived late home that evening. Before he went home, he decided to return to the office and do a little work. There was definitely some items that had to be completed before Donna was back in the office.

Suddenly Harvey's cell phone rang and without seeing who was calling automatically answered, "Donna, what are you doing up? I'll be home..."

"This is not Donna, Specter. You may have seduced Donna away from me but you are not taking my money to that other money grubbing bitch in a wheelchair. I'll find you if that happens and hurt you real bad..."

"Mitchell. You wanna extend your sentence to include harrassment and bad behavior. You could be put in solitary for that one. I think that would be great! Then no one would ever have to hear from you son of a bitch ever again!"

Then the phone went click. He was going to speak to the judge tomorrow about where they have Mitchell doing his time. It was obvious that Mitchell found Harvey's cell number from the papers with which Harvey had served Justin.

Harvey looked at his watch 9:30 pm. It was time he went home to see his fiancee.

Harvey had decided on the short drive home that he was not going to worry Donna with Mitchell's empty threats. Harvey never took to threats well and always made promises in return, so he was more than determined to keep his promise to Meredith and Donna.

When arrived home the condo was quiet and dark. He rounded the corner and noted that the only light came from the direction of the bedroom. He took off his coat and laid his keys on the kitchen counter. As he crept quietly into the bedroom he smiled when he spotted Donna sleeping peacefully. He went into the bathroom, removed his clothing and decided to take a short shower to remove the actual and imagined dirt from his body before joining Donna in bed.

He put his blue velour robe on after showering and decided to forego his pajamas and just slip into bed nude. He was too tired to care at the moment. He placed his head on one propped elbow and just watched her sleeping. She muzzled in her sleep a littl bit. He kissed her gently on the cheek and then burying himself in his blankets turned on his side facing Donna's back when he heard her voice.

"I hope that Dr. Agard was able to help you with your decision," Donna said quietly.

Harvey opened his eyes wide to see that Donna had felt him get into bed with her.

"How did you know I was with Dr. Agard and how do you know about her?"

Donna turned over to stare at Harvey in the dark.

"I'm Donna. Do you really need to ask me that question?"

"No, I suppose not," Harvey said propping his head back upon a bent elbow and smiling from ear to ear.

"Well, did she?"

"Yes, she was helpful. However, she told us to follow our hearts once the test results come back," Harvey stated quietly watching Donna's beautiful eyes closing sleepily.

"That's what I was thinking as well. Good night my love," Donna said as she drifted back to sleep.

Harvey responded by kissing her gently on the forehead as she had crawled into his arms.

He never wanted to let go.


	21. Chapter 21

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 21

Donna sat alone in the train car as it moved from Manhattan to Connecticut. She left without a word once she was told the DNA results. She was horrified. All the hope that she had for her and Harvey dashed in one fell swoop. Even the gorgeous engagement ring and joyous marriage proposal she said yes to forgotten after one detail left from the results. This baby was not Harvey's but a result of one horrific night.

She had promised Harvey that she would not receive the answer until he could be with her. Unfortunately, the day the appointment was confirmed was the day that Harvey had to be in court for the hearing of the civil suit between Mitchell's firm and Meredith. Not wanting to delay the answer any longer, Donna promised she would let Harvey know the results that day no matter what, but when Donna was told all she could do was write Harvey a quick note absolving Harvey of any responsibilty for her or the baby and telling Rachel to look after Harvey because she was not going to be there. She had not told Rachel what the results were because she would not be able to conceal them from her face as she took care of Harvey for her. Rachel was sworn to secrecy but somehow Donna knew that Rachel would tell Mike and Mike would let it slip to Harvey.

That night a month ago when she and Harvey promised that they would follow their hearts once the test results were in was cemented in Donna's heart but the shock of the actual knowledge that this baby was Mitchell's and not Harvey's drove an immediate wedge between them without Harvey's knowledge of anything. She knew it was ended after that. Not only would Harvey never forgive her for not being honest with him and letting him know the results but also leaving him high and dry was even worse than just leaving him to work for Louis.

Donna was almost certain that the baby would be Harvey's. How could such a wonderful momentous night of lovemaking not result in a baby? Donna knew that was the romantic side of her saying that but the more pragmatic side knew that great sex and a tremendous orgasm did not equal baby made whether wanted or not.

Now Donna had a real decision. She was just about twelve weeks along now and too late for an abortion for a first trimester abortion. She felt that was her doctor's mechanics at works. He knew she was thinking of an abortion if the child she carried was not Harvey's, so he delayed the test results until he knew it would be too late for a therapeutic abortion and not killing a baby. Donna, alone now, ( or maybe she was alway alone in this) had to decide to keep her baby and raise it herself or to give it up for adoption to some couple who longed for a baby and was unable to have one.

If Donna had been younger when this had happened, she thought perhaps her decision would have been easier because she would have had more time to have another child. Here, though, she was now in her early forties and did want to have at least one child, hopefully, with the man she loved. However, that was loathe to happen now. Harvey would cut her off forever and not come after her no matter what he felt. No matter how much Harvey had grown and was loving and wonderful, betrayal (as he would feel her departure) was his ultimate Achilles' heel. The last thing Donna ever wanted to do was break his heart although hers had been broken by him more times than she could count.

Donna waited sitting on a bench outside of the train station waiting for her mother to pick her up. She had not told her mother anything about anything. The only thing that Donna had let slip was that she needed to speak with her mother about Harvey.

Donna rose from sitting on the bench as she saw her mother's 2011 Hyundai Sonata pull up along the curb.

Donna swiftly got into the car throwing her backpack in the backseat of the car.

"Donna, honey, it's good to see you," Roberta Paulsen said as she hugged her daughter from the driver's seat.

"It's good to see you, too, mom. Hey do you think we could stop and have a little something. I'm starving and I haven't eaten for a while," Donna said because she really was hungry. Her morning sickness had just started to dissipate and her stomach was growling. Besides, she really was not ready to talk to her mother about Harvey, being raped, and the baby decision just yet.

Harvey returned from court with his head held high and that "I'm the best" smug look plastered on his face as he anxiously wanted to see Donna and share the news that the judge ruled in Meredith's favor and recieve the news from Donna that they had conceived a baby that night in the Lexus.

However, Rachel met him at the elevators so he knew something was definitely wrong.

"Rachel, I didn't expect to see you here," Harvey said frowning.

"Well, I skipped my last class because I did not want you to be surprised when you went back to your office," Rachel said trying to placate him. One of the worst tasks that Donna had ever asked her to do.

"Not surprised from what? Where's Donna, Rachel?"

Harvey stomped off silently making it difficult for Rachel to keep up in her stilettos. Once he arrived and saw her empty cubicle and he threw open the door to his office almost hitting Rachel with it. She luckily grabbed it and entered behind him.

"What is this?" Harvey demanded as he held the envelope Donna had apparently left for him front and center on his desk.

"It's a quick note, Donna left for you. She did not tell me why she left only that she wanted me to let you know."

"Did you know she was going for the results of the DNA tests today?" Harvey asked looking at Rachel like he was cross examining a perp.

"Yes, I knew. She did not tell me what they told her. I am sure that is what she left in the letter for you."

Harvey shook his head and delayed opening it until Rachel realized she should leave. She courteously asked if he needed anything and the only word that Harvey uttered was "Donna".

Donna laughed at what her mother had told her about her latest "man". Roberta Paulsen looked like an older version of Donna with beautiful red tresses and a figure which would stop a clock, but just a little more solid in all the right places which may have been expected after birthing three daughters.

"Ok, tell me about Harvey and what he has done now," Roberta said.

"It's not his fault, mom. It's mine now. I wouldn't be surprised if I never hear from him again professionally or personally," Donna said sorrowfully. "Can we go home now? I think I can tell you everything now."

Roberta drove back to the small brick house where Donna and her two sisters had been raised. It still looked the same with the same cement stoop and brickfront with the same screen door which would hit you in the behind if you were not fast enough getting through the door. That same door would be hard to leave having a latch that was not quite fitted correctly. Uncle Jake tried to fix it many a time, but unfortunately it always reverted back.

This time the screen door snapped shut and Roberta closed the inner door. It was April now but it was still cool in the evenings especially after the sun set in the sky. Donna took off her coat and hung it over the coat rack behind the door and placed her backpack at the foot of the stairs. She then sat in the overstuffed couch across from the front door. Donna loved coming home. It was something about the smell and the familiarity which helped her find the courage to finally relay to her mother everything that had happened since Christmas Eve.

"Well, Donna, I don't know why you didn't do as you promised with Harvey. I know he loves you so much. He never wanted to say out loud but the few times you were here with him he would never take his eyes off you. Many a time I think he wanted to say something to you, but as you know he was scared. Now all you've done is really piss him off," Roberta explained to Donna as her eyes filled with tears.

"Mom, I can't let him be a part of this. This isn't his fault. Even if he still wanted to marry me, how can I bring a child into the world where we would both remember how he came to be every time we looked at him. What if we were blessed with our own children? How would we not play favorites? After all the hell his mother put him through, I couldn't do this to him."

"Don't you think you should have left that up to Harvey? He's a grown man and he knows how the world works. Plus you promised each other you would make the decision together. You've broken your promise to Harvey. That more than anything is going to make him mad at you," Roberta said wisely.

"I know."

"Then why did you come home, Donna? I can't make this decision for you. In some states you can get rid of a baby after the first trimester, but it is horrible. Your sister, Carol, being a Obgyn nurse has seen many a horrible abortion. Have you seen the baby on an ultrasound yet?"

"No," Donna sobbed. She gulped and cleared her throat. "No, I put it off because I was praying that the baby would be Harvey's and it would something we could share together."

Roberta dried her daughter's tears with a handkerchief and told her. "Get some rest, Donna. Your bed is all ready. Does Harvey know you've come here?" Roberta wanted to be ready because she was almost one hundred percent certain that Harvey would either try to call Donna or come here to see her, so she wanted to be prepared.

"No, I didn't tell him, but he will probably surmise it."

"Regardless, go up to bed. I was glad to see you ate. Did you have rough morning sickness?"

"No, only a few mornings where I couldn't get my head out of the toilet. I had to replace my trash bin at work four times when I couldn't make it to the bathroom. Gretchen was very helpful with what to eat and when to eat to combat it."

"Who's Gretchen? She's new," Roberta asked.

"She was my replacement when I went to work for Louis," Donna said knowing now there would be a whole list of other questions about that since Donna had never told her mother about her short tenure as Louis' secretary after Norma's death.

"You left out that you worked for Louis Litt for a while. Is that part of the reason why Harvey was so attentive to you on Christmas Eve?"

Donna came up to where her mother stood next to the kitchen table.

She pursed her lips and said, "Look, mom, I promise I will fill you in about that later. If Harvey calls or should come, I will talk to him. I do, at least, owe him that I guess."

Roberta kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"Remember, God gives you babies. That child was given to your womb for a reason. Don't blame the child for how it was put there."

Donna nodded then mounted the stairs with her backpack to get some rest and forget about her predicament for a little while. She looked forward to being back home surrounded by her childhood memories.

It was six in the evening before Harvey found the nerve to open Donna's letter.

 **Dear Harvey:**

 **I am sorry that I have not kept my promsie to you about deciding together what to do depending upon the results of the DNA test. Let me just say that I love you and I wanted to spare you any additional heartache in light of the situation. I also apologize for not having the guts to tell you the results in person.**

 **The DNA tests conclusively suggest that the baby boy I carry is Mitchell's not yours. I wish it could have been different, but God did not happen to answer this prayer the way we wanted. So, saying that, I absolve you from any responsiblity for me or the baby. As you know the beautiful engagement ring I forebore to wear is still sitting in yoru safe in your condo. Now, it will be available for another woman to wear.**

 **As for my professional capacity, I still have a list of those other candidates that you never finished interviewing upon hiring Gretchen.**

 **You have been a wonderful lover and fiancee. I would never have fought the demons left from the experience of the rape if it weren't for your timely strength and love. I have loved you for 13 years and only once have I regretted it. That's now because I know now how you love me and how much you love me and I feel unworthy to love you in return. So I now leave you to find another. I still love you with all my heart. You deserve to be happy. You are a good, good man. Please find someone to share your life. My only regret is that it cannot be me.**

 **Love**

 **Donna**

Harvey was in tears as he read Donna's words. He crumpled the paper. Did she not realize he really wanted her to be with him? That they would make a decision whether to keep the baby or give him up. Harvey was almost certain that the child had been his, but now he knew that was but a dream. That damn son of a bitch Mitchell had hurt her and then left his seed within her to complicate things. Why did this have to happen? He was looking so forward to being with Donna finally.

He uncrumpled the letter. She did not indicate where she had gone and she did not tell Rachel on purpose because Donna knew that Rachel would capitulate to Harvey's probing questions. Rachel was not a good witness when it came to standing strong.

Well, Harvey was glad that Meredith's life would be a little easier. She was able to lift her hand up enough to shake his in gratitude for what he had done. He smiled and said that the only thing left was the paperwork to be signed and that soon the quarterly payments would be coming soon. He said that the office would call Meredith and her mother when the paperwork was finalized. He then had left the courthouse practically jumping for joy physically at how wonderfully that had turned in his favor.

Of course, that was work. Not necessarily his personal hopes except for the unfortunate being Mitchell O'Brien who would now be broke and penniless when he finished his ten year sentence for raping Donna. Only now, there was a little person who in Harvey and Donna's eyes would never understand why he would not be loved by parents albeit one biological. Harvey was sure that he could find no way to love a child that was not his and who had been born simply because of a horrible incident which was perpetrated by the boy's father. Harvey was fair, though, as he analyzed the situation that it was not fair at all to the child. He deserved love no matter what the circumstances. He did not ask to be conceived.

If Donna had kept her promise to him and asked him what he wanted to do, he would have said to put the baby up for adoption. Mitchell need never know that his heinous act produced a child. The baby would be loved by parents who when they looked at him would not see a black eye, cracked ribs, and bruises all over the body of his mother. Perhaps, then, Donna and he could be married and quickly conceive one of their own.

One person that would never know about the child would be his biological father who insisted upon threatening Harvey. Harvey had not told Donna of these empty threats fron prison, but Harvey did have an interview with the judge who could commute his sentence to another facility. The farther and more bound the better. It was not that Harvey was scared for himself, but Donna would live in fear that he could find a way to escape behind bars and now that she was carrying Mitchell's baby she would have been twice as scared. Harvey felt lost to her, but he still meant to keep his promise to her that he would never let anything happen to her while on his watch. No matter the distance between he and Donna.

Harvey smoothed Donna's letter out on his desk with his hand. Behind him the April sun was setting. He shivered and decided to pour himself a Scotch. He then decided to sit on his couch and think of where Donna might be. She may not want him to, but he was going to do the one thing that she was not expecting. He was fighting for her.

 _Damn it, Donna! You've done it again and ripped my heart out. Only this time I know what to do. I fought once and I will fight again. I have waited for you for this long and I'll be damned if I would be happy with anyone else. I'll be coming for you whether you like it or not. Whether you still love me or want me or not!_

Harvey put the cool glass to his forehead and felt a hand on his shoulder rub it in comfort. It was Rachel who had understood little but wanted to show she supported him. Then Mike walked in and he patted his other shoulder in support. Harvey's blanched face with tearstains looked up into both of theirs and smiled a little smile. Here were their two best friends and they would help him find her. He just knew it.


	22. Chapter 22

**Hi! I had to update this fic again in a short time. I loved writing this Chapter and I am debating where to take it next. I have introduced Mike's predicament into this, so we'll see what happens and how the events evolve a little differently especially for DARVEY. Please leave a review or comment if you wish. Thank you to all my followers. I really enjoy that you enjoy my work. Love-carebearmaxi.**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 22

 _Early June 2016_...

Donna looked down at the baby bump she now wore with mixed emotions. Today she was meeting another set of prospective parents. She really wanted to make sure that this set of parents did not want to know why she wanted to give the baby up for adoption. The social worker had promised that that was none of anyone's business. She also wanted the adoptive parents to know that she did not need their financial support either. She had made more than enough money while employed at Pearson Specter Litt, mainly because Harvey had been more than generous supplementing her normal salary. Then Louis, whom she knew did not really want to give her another 2% raise but did anyway because he could never say no to her. All she needed to tell the adoptive parents that as far as she knew the child had no genetic defects which could run in the family.

Donna rubbed her bump. She was now five months pregnant and there was no mistaking now that she was indeed pregnant. Donna found herself back in New York, but not in Brooklyn at her old apartment but in Rochester where she decided to settle until after the baby was born and gone. She had not spoken to her PSL family for a few months now. She had not spoken or heard from Harvey. She thought for sure that he felt as she thought he would. Since it was not his baby she carried, he could not bring himself to love her. Donna had reconciled it in her mind, but her heart had been taking a little longer.

Her apartment here in Rochester was even smaller than the one she had in Brooklyn. However, it was the one her older sister Carol chose for her so she could be near her when Donna went into labor. Carol had given birth to two children and suddenly found herself pregnant with a third. Donna was happy for her. Carol and Thomas were very happy and surprised. Donna thought that was how she and Harvey would have been had this child been theirs.

Donna had decided to give the baby up for adoption after watching a documentary on abused children. In it was one adult who had been arrested and in and out of prison and when they delved deep into his childhood it was found that he had been a result of a rape. His mother had never been able to love him. The only reason the mother had given birth to him was that it was too late for her to have an abortion. Funny, how similar the situation had been. All Donna knew was that although she could not love it, the baby deserved someone to love it and think it was the greatest child in the whole world.

Donna, who stood at the window looking at the beautiful warm June morning from her kitchen window, was startled by the knock on her door. She had been expecting the warmup visit from Mrs. Stockard who was handling the adoption of Donna's baby. She had visited with three other prospective adoptive parents but none of them seemed just right. This last couple that Mrs. Stockard was presenting would be the last one for a while. She still had four months for which to pick adoptive parents. She really did not want the baby to go from her womb to an orphanage. Donna thought it better if the baby was handed to loving parents.

Donna opened the door and was surprised to see the person standing on the other side.

"Harvey!"

"I gotta say. I didn't think you could get yourself lost that easily. I have been trying to find you since March."

"Harvey," Donna repeated.

Harvey looked relieved. He did not look upset with her. His deep brown eyes were red rimmed as if he had spent a lot of nights nursing Scotch or working too hard. His hair looked a little less spiky as if he had forgotten to gel it before he left the house. He was dressed in a blue cardigan sweater with a light blue dress shirt underneath. In lieu of suit slacks he wore dark blue jeans which fit him perfect in all the right places. Donna could not help realize how much she had missed him. He only had to look at her with those big brown puppy dog eyes and her legs went to jelly. Now was no exception.

When Donna seemed still in shock, Harvey asked, "Can I come in?"

Donna blinked herself back to the present and said, "Of course."

Harvey came forward and then risking everything he stepped forward and took her in his arms and held her tight. He could feel the baby bump at his stomach. So she decided to keep it, Harvey thought. She still felt so right in his arms. He had missed her so much. His panic attacks had returned which caused him sleepless nights, and his work was suffering once again. There was only so much for which the others in the firm could compensate. This time Jessica told him not to return until he found Donna and they worked through their shit. If he came back one minute short of that, she would fire him and make sure he would never work as a lawyer again. _The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away_ was the way Harvey viewed Jessica's command.

He stepped away from Donna and noticed she had completely broken down. Her tears were streaming down her cheeks and she turned to wipe one of his that had escaped from his deep brown eyes.

"You should never have come here," Donna said turning away from him taking a seat on the leather couch behind her.

"Why? You promised we would come to the decision about the baby together. Why did you run? Were you afraid that I would no longer want you? I thought I had changed enough and grew up enough for you to see that I love you no matter what and whether you wanted the baby or not." Harvey came to sit on the chair that sat on the left side of the couch.

"Harvey, why did you find me? I took pains for all my family not to tell you where I was. That if you asked I would be back in late September."

"Donna, I need you. Not just as my secretary again, but as the woman I love and want to be my wife."

"Harvey, I can't marry you when I am carrying another man's child. You told me you couldn't love it because of how it was conceived."

"You said you couldn't either. That's why we were going to decide together, but instead you didn't trust me enough to share this decision with me. I'm sure I don't need to tell you I feel rather betrayed."

"Betrayed? Well, I guess you would. I don't blame you, but it's not that I didn't trust you or love you enough to make a major decision like this with you. It's just that this child was not your fault and you were blameless, so why should you have to worry about what to do with it." Donna shook her head. Her red hair which had only grown more lush with the pregnancy hormones waving like an ocean of red. She looked away from Harvey who had risen from his seat to take a short pace around her small apartment.

Harvey swiftly came back to kneel in front of Donna. He took both her hands in his and said, "I know this child was not my fault, but you are my concern. I swore nothing would ever happen to you, and I know that I have done a pretty lousy job of protecting you, but I thought now that we were together that the job would be easier and that you could really count on me. I really thought you would never doubt me again."

Donna kissed Harvey's knuckles which were white from holding her hands so tightly.

"Well, I decided to give the baby up. My sister, Carol, lives down the street and found this place for me. She also contaced the social worker who is handling the adoption for me. As a matter of fact, I was expecting her when I opened the door and found you."

"Sorry," Harvey said pretending to pout with his big brown eyes that Donna had always found captivating. When Harvey's face showed no emotion, Donna was one of the few people that knew Harvey's eyes could always betray any other feature of his face. He supposedly had no "tells" which made him such an astute poker player, but Donna knew all his "tells".

"Who told you where to find me? I haven't spoken to anyone at the firm either because I knew it would get back to you and I really needed to do this on my own."

"Well, your mom caved rather easily once I was able to call her."

"What do you mean "able to call her"? What's happened?" Donna wanted to know.

"About a month ago, two Federal agents arrested Mike for fraud."

Donna's gasped audibly and her eyes immediately filled with new pools of swimming tears. She hugged Harvey knowing how hard this was going to be for him. Mike was like a little brother to him and herself as well.

"I'm so scared for him, Donna. I'm determined to get him out of this, but we both know that I'm as guilty as he is."

"Well, what's been happening? I gather everyone is on edge. Who is the US Attorney?" Donna asked glad to focus on other issues other than the one in her belly.

"Her name is Anita Gibbs and she is a barracuda determined to take us all down. I can't negotiate with her. She's out for blood. The firm is like a ship and all the rats are leaving as it sinks. Jessica is standing firm, Louis is waffling although in the end I know he'll stand by us, and I'm getting by."

"How's Rachel and Mike?" Donna needed to know. Normally Donna was the glue that kept them all together and remind the six of them that they were all family especially where Mike was concerned.

"Rachel is doing about as well as expected. I don't know how good she'll be if Mike goes off to jail. I have to keep him from doing this. It's my fault he's been arrested. My stupid little experiment has blown up in our faces. What the hell was I thinking?"

Donna felt the baby move and quickly put her hand on her stomach. Harvey who never missed a trick saw her do that and quickly asked.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, it's just the baby. He does that every now and then. He lets me know he's still in there...just a reminder," Donna said. She actually was starting to enjoy being pregnant but if it was not for the fact that Mitchell's snarling face came to mind every time she thought about the baby she may have decided to keep him and raise him all by herself.

Harvey suddenly curious laid his hand on Donna's bump.

"What are doing, Harvey?" Donna asked knowing full well what he was doing.

Suddenly the bubbles and a little pound from inside made it through to Harvey's hand. He smiled a huge smile which met his eyes and a tear escaped.

"That's incredible," Harvey whispered.

For just a minute, Donna smiled and her fantasy of them being a happy threesome took over. Then the doorbell rang and this time there would be no mistaking who was on the other side.

"Is that?" Harvey asked.

"Yes. You should leave," Donna said.

"No, I don't think so," Harvey said firmly as his eyes never left Donna as she walked the short distance to the door and opened it.

"Mrs. Stockard," Donna said as she opened the door and a petite woman with blonde hair in a bun in her early 50's walked through the door. She was dressed in a gray suit with a red button down shirt and two inch black heels. She carried a brief case and a sheaf of papers in her hand. Her purse which was very small was slung over her shoulder. Donna towered over this woman and when Harvey stood up to introduce himself he towered over both of them at his full six foot height.

When Mrs. Stockard turn around at the sound of a step behind her on the hardwood floor, she was very surprised to see a man there.

"Mrs. Stockard, this is Harvey Specter. Harvey this is Carolina Stockard. She is handling the adoption of the baby," Donna said with difficulty.

"I'm her lawyer. It's good to meet you," Harvey smiled his most disarming knee womanizing smile which no woman could usually withstand. Carolina Stockard was just another one. She became all feminine and smoothed her skirt down after shaking Harvey's hand.

"Let's sit at the couch, shall we?" Donna said keeping a serious eye on Harvey who insisted on staying no matter how Donna tried to signal to him to "get lost".

"Well, Donna never mentioned anything about a lawyer, but I assure you Mr. Specter that everything is aboveboard and the couples we interview are thoroughly investigated and found to be financially capable as well as loving people ready to be parents," Mrs. Stockard volunteered.

"That's good to know because I know Donna has wrestled with the decision to give up the child or to raise him herself. Has she discussed compensation?"

"Harvey!"

"Mrs. Stockard, don't listen to Harvey. He is my lawyer, but he is not in that capacity right now. As a matter of fact, he was just leaving," Donna said speaking through gritted teeth and raised eyebrows.

"No, I'm not. I forgot to tell you, Donna, but I drove up and my car is having a little bit of trouble," Harvey schmoozed his way to a lie and Donna knew it. Besides this was the most fun that Harvey had had for a long time. He also felt that Donna should not be alone and should ask for things like compensation. After all she was giving a couple her child. A part of her, Harvey thought seriously for a moment.

Harvey remained quiet as Carolina and Donna looked at prospective parents on her iPad and read some evaluations of them.

 _Part of her...mmmm. Part of her..._ Harvey's mind kept reverberating around that thought. The baby boy Donna carried was not only Mitchell's but Donna's as well. Had she even thought about that? It was hard for Harvey, now that he had seen her swelled belly and felt the baby move. _This baby could very well look just like Donna and nothing like Mitchell. If they raised him together, Harvey could see him teaching him baseball and basketball and when he was older how to get around women although he would have to respect them and not be disloyal like his mother..._

 _What am I thinking? Donna's made her decision without me but it was her decision as she had said._

"Have any of the prospective parents provided healthcare for when the baby is born? Donna does have good insurance with our company. She's my secretary by the way, but there are incidentals like the deductible that isn't paid by the firm's..."

"Harvey, please shut up," Donna interjected politely.

Carolina Stockard was taken aback by Harvey's sudden appearance and requests for compensation. It was not like Donna was a surrogate mother or had claimed she was giving up her baby because she could not afford it and wanted to start a new life somewhere else. As a matter of fact, Donna had indicated she was paid very well and would be returning to her job in September after the baby had been born and the adoptive parents took the baby home.

"Perhaps, I should return another time. One when you don't have a visitor," Mrs. Stockard said rising from her seat on the couch next to Donna.

"Ok, maybe in a couple of days, I can give you a call," Donna suggested and then saw Carolina to the door.

She slammed the door and stood in front of it and glared at the man she loved.

"What the hell, Harvey! What the hell are you doing? Undermining my decision? What have you got to do with it!"

"Have you really thought about this baby? It occurred to me that this little baby boy inside you is part of you not just Mitchell's. I saw your face when you felt him move. You were beaming. You do love this baby. How can you just give it away?"

"Because I can..."Donna said softly shaking her head as if she giving up a child was an every day uninvolved decision like changing your socks.

Donna walked past Harvey and into her kitchen and poured herself a glass of milk.

"Would you like to join me in a glass of chocolate milk? I realize you like stronger material, but I am not able to drink so I don't have anything stronger than club soda in the house," Donna said.

Harvey smiled. "Chocolate milk would be just fine. Can we please talk civilly now?"

"I guess since you scared away the social worker you have the floor," Donna said removing two glasses from her cabinet and preparing the chocolate milk. She had heated some water in her tea kettle and added a little to each of the glasses. She scooped two spoonfuls each of chocolate Ovaltine and poured it into the glasses. As she came to sit at the small kitchen table, Harvey joined her and she handed him a glass of the concoction.

"Mmmm...this is really good. I don't think I have had chocolate milk since I was entertaining my nieces at my house. I took a short cut and bought it in the carton," Harvey said smiling.

"The secret is the hot water. It dissolves all powder so you don't have a clump at the bottom of the glass. My grandmother used to serve it this way. She made the best chocolate milk," Donna said drinking the rest of her milk in one gulp and rising to make another.

"Donna, would you marry me?" Harvey said while Donna's back was turned. He saw her falter and stop what she was doing.

"Harvey why?" Donna asked turning around and in front of Harvey was the small velvet box opened to reveal the beautiful Tiffany set teardrop shaped diamond ring that she wore only once and that was on New Year's Day many months ago.

"Why? Because I love you that's why. I can't make it through the day without seeing you or knowing you are near enough for me to touch. Is that not enough?" Harvey reasoned.

"What about the baby? If I changed my mind and wanted to raise it, would you still be willing to marry me knowing that this child's biological father hurt me deeply and scarred me in ways that I may not yet be aware of?" Donna said as she sat back down at the table.

Harvey joined her by sitting back down again and looking her in the eye.

"I know you are going to think I'm giving you lip service here, but I thought about the baby. He never would need to know who his real father is or what he did. I can put it out of my mind. I pictured myself showing him how to throw a ball. I pictured us and maybe a younger brother or sister sitting with us in the stands as he received his high school diploma or when he graduates from Harvard Magna Cum Laude unlike his dad who barely graduated. The only thing I know now is that I know I could love that baby because he is part of you. Part of the woman I love very, very much," Harvey said as he placed the ring on Donna's finger.

"By the way, don't take it off or I'll have to shoot you," Harvey joked.

Donna smiled through her flood of tears. "Or Jessica will shoot us. I'm sure she gave you an ultimatum or you would not be here. You should be in the office helping Mike. Not worrying about me. I'm fine."

"Yes, you're so fine. You nearly gave up our child," Harvey said.

"You do mean this, right? You're not going to want to bail on me when my son calls you "daddy", right?"

"I can't wait to hear it," Harvey said surprised by his own excitement. "Besides as soon as he is born we can work on our own."

"Oh, brother," Donna said and then reaching over the table kissed him experimentally on his lips.

Immediately Harvey rose and took Donna into his arms.

"Where's your bed?"

Donna laughed. "By the way, Mr. Specter, I didn't agree yet to be your wife."

He smirked.

To which Donna said, "Of course, I, once again, am very happy to become Mrs. Harvey Reginald Specter."

"This time you're wearing that ring or I will glue it to your finger and we are setting a date."

They kissed deeply and then Harvey lifted Donna in his strong arms and carried her to the bed where they made love long and slow savoring each other like the lost lovers they had been for just a few months. Afterwards, Harvey watched Donna sleep and loved patting her little baby bump. Bending over her belly he began talking softly to the little guy.

"Hey, this is your dad. The only dad you are ever going to know. I just want to tell you that you have a wonderful mom and we're going to love you like no kid has been loved before," Harvey then kissed him through Donna's tummy.

Unbeknowst to Harvey, Donna had heard every word and smiled with her eyes tightly shut so as to absorb this side of the wonderful man she loved. This side was never seen by anyone other than her when she witnessed it once before when he babysat Marcus' children.

They awoke a few hours later and Harvey called the office to find how they were faring in his absence.

 _"So, Harvey, did you work through your shit with Donna?"_ Jessica asked in his ear.

"Yes, we did. She agreed to marry me and come back and have the baby," Harvey said as he watched Donna pack her few belongings she had taken with her when she left several months ago. He did notice that now her wardrobe had become mostly maternity tops and expandable jeans. She probably will need new designer clothes when she comes back to work.

 _"Good. Now get your asses back here and help me right this ship,"_ Jessica said.

"Be there soon. Jessica, thanks," Harvey said and hung up his phone.


	23. Chapter 23

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way – Chapter 23

Donna and Harvey arrived back at the firm around 7:30 pm. It was a Friday evening and usually the partners had all gone home for the weekend, but the associates' bullpen was normally buzzing like a hive since they always had the extra work which trickled from Louis and the other senior partners. Tonight, however, Harvey and Donna took a look around and the silence was deafening.

"See? What did I tell you? The rats have deserted the sinking ship."

"Oh, Harvey, I am so sorry."

The only other person they encountered was Louis. Louis with a haughty look on his face.

"So hotshot where have you been?

"Where do you think?" Harvey said returning the verbal volley dripping with sarcasm.

"Donna!" Louis said as he saw her turn around. "How are you feeling?"

His eyes were suddenly caught by Donna in all her pregnancy bloom.

"Oh, I can see how you are!" Louis then hugged Donna and said how happy he was that she was back. "Looks like the gang's all here"

Louis turned to Harvey and said, "So you think we can win against that shark in a skirt?"

Harvey turned to Louis and said, "Well when the trial starts I'm going to have Mike try the case. I can't do anything else for him. He's ready. He has to show the jury that he is a lawyer."

"Sounds like you're giving up because you can't win, Harvey. I don't want to go to prison!"

"Shh! Keep your voice down. Let Mike do this and he can win. I have faith in his abilities," Harvey said and stormed off toward his office. "Donna?"

"Coming, Harvey, I'll be there in just a minute," Donna said. She then turned the opposite way to catch up with Louis.

"Louis….Louis…stop!"

"I'm sorry, Donna," Louis said. "I just think Harvey is giving in because he thinks we can't win."

"Have you ever known Harvey to just throw up his hands and give up?" Donna said seriously staring at the smaller man.

"I don't know Donna. Harvey never gives up on any case. Now it seems he's giving up on us. If Mike goes down we are screwed and I don't think you'll want a raise a baby from prison," Louis said ominously.

"Harvey didn't give up on me especially when my life was on the line. I have faith in him now more than ever!"

Donna then departed for Harvey's office, but first she sauntered by Rachel's office to see if she, in fact, was there.

She was.

"Donna!" Rachel said bursting into tears at her best friend's return. She came over and hugged her tight.

"Is this him?" Rachel said as she pointed to the floral covered baby bump. Donna had put on her best maternity jeans and a pretty large sleeveless floral blouse and a pair of flats. Donna felt she had a little heater in her body, so she had to put on the dressiest blouse she had but had to make sure it was the coolest. _Never let'em see you sweat_ was one of Donna's credos out of the book of Donna. Not exactly original but we all steal material every now and then.

"Yes."

"Does this mean?" Rachel wondered knowing the dilemma of whether to keep Mitchell's baby or to give him up for adoption.

"Is Harvey going….?"

"Yes, we are," Donna said and then showed her the ring that she had only wore on New Year's Day after the first proposal.

"It's beautiful! Look at the size of that rock!" Rachel could not help saying. Although smaller, Rachel loved her engagement ring because it had belonged to Mike's grandmother whom Rachel had really liked. The ring had sentimental value to them both making their coming marriage contain its own specialness.

"When Harvey goes all out he goes all out," Donna said. "How you holding up, hon?" She rubbed a hand up and down Rachel's arm affectionately.

"Well, Mike is going crazy feeling he can't be convincing to the jury. I told him to play on their feelings and they will know that he is telling the truth."

"That one, yes, he is a lawyer, but two, no he never went to law school," Donna said taking a seat across Rachel's desk.

"I know that the jury will be sympathetic but it all comes down to how well Anita Gibbs pleads her case. She is a horribly cold, cruel woman. Speak of the devil," Rachel said whispering.

Anita Gibbs or the devil incarnate as she was being touted around the firm's doors approached Rachel's office door.

"Ms. Donna Paulsen," Ms. Gibbs said holding out her hand for a shake to which Donna refused.

"Something I can do for you?" Donna asked cool as a cucumber.

"Anita Gibbs…"

"I know who you are. You are the prosecuting attorney against my friend, Mike Ross."

"Yes. Bad news travels fast. I was just coming to ask you a few questions regarding your boss or former boss?" Anita said noting Donna's condition.

"Well, is there somewhere we can talk?"

"Not here."

"Then I will have to call you as a witness on the stand next week when the trial starts,"

"I'll look forward to it," Donna said as a smart ass which was the last thing she felt from watching that woman walk into Rachel's office.

"Why the hell was she here at this hour?" Donna asked.

"She haunts around here like a ghost at any hour. Since no one sees her coming, we have not been able to stop her," Rachel said.

"Where is Mike?" Donna asked. "I thought he would be here showing he has nothing to hide while he works on his case?"

"Well, Harvey thought it would be better for the firm if he stayed at home and easier for him to build his case. Harvey's been helping him as much as he can. Jessica has been pressuring Harvey to act as if there's nothing wrong...well you can see the effect that has had on the firm," Rachel pointed out taking a look around the room as if they were looking at the whole firm.

"I'm back now, so we'll see what we can do until the trial starts next week," Donna said to Rachel hopefully with faith that maybe there was a chance that those who left would regret it when Mike was exonerated.

She chatted with Rachel one more time about how Harvey came and finally found her. She then decided to pay a small visit to Gretchen who was happy to see her and was more than settled as Louis' secretary now.

Then she finally returned to Harvey. She looked at her watch and it was now 8:30 pm. She had been back at the firm for a whole hour and now she finally was able to sit at her desk just outside her fiance's office.

"Donna, you're finally back. Did you see everyone?" Harvey wondered as he came outside his office with a file.

"File this on Monday. We're going home. We both need rest," Harvey said and kissed Donna on the lips. When he rose back up, Jessica stood there.

"Well, I am glad you are back, Donna, blooming baby bump and all. Keep this guy in line. You know, again, he went to shit when you left," Jessica said. Then coming closer said to her quietly.

"When you go on maternity leave, take your work home with you. He can't deal with temps." Jessica smiled as she confided this to Donna.

Donna saluted and said, "Yes, ma'am. Duty will be done."

Harvey curled one eyebrow up and looked at both women and said, "Ok, I don't know what was said during that little exchange, but I am sure it was about me and it wasn't complimentary."

Donna looked up at Harvey raising one eyebrow and said, "You have no idea. Let's just go home now."

They did just that.


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note: I decided to entangle this with events of Season 6. Knowing this the discussion that Harvey and Donna have regarding he turn himself in would go a little differently if Harvey and Donna were in a different situation themselves. I tried to keep on the same level but the words are a little different. I appreciate any of you still hanging in. Thank you - Carebearmaxi**

It Doesn't Have to Be That Way – Chapter 24

The trial of Mike Ross' fraud scandal was almost a farce as the eye could see. Harvey had begun to doubt Mike being his own attorney when he saw how much of a barracuda Anita Gibbs had been in the preparation time leading up to the trial. She even tried to pit Donna against Harvey by insinuating that Harvey had embroiled her father into a bad business deal. Harvey, of course, being a master closer, took charge and her father was exonerated of any wrong doing.

Of course, this is when the proverbial shit hit the fan. Donna's father was furious that he had been kept out of the loop not only the knowledge of his daughter's condition but how she attained it. It was gruesome for Donna to live through it again and tell him that she thought her mother had already relayed the situation to him. Although her parents were divorced, she knew that they both kept close watch on their three girls. Donna was the middle child and like middle children had always possessed the biggest differences between her and her siblings and also the one who lived closest to the edge.

Anyhow, after Harvey promised to James that he had always loved his daughter; and although, he knew the child was not his, he and Donna were to marry. He could not explain enough to James Paulsen how much he loved his daughter and how much he would going to love that little baby boy she carried.

After James finally relenting on his resentfulness toward Harvey's relationship with his daughter, he shook Harvey's hand and maintained a watchful eye on him.

The last week of the trial was not going well. It seemed that the prosecution had done nothing than lay it bare that Michael Ross, Esq was really the fraud they were claiming him to be. After a heart-to-heart discussion, Harvey finally relented that perhaps it was better if Mike proved he was a lawyer by acting like it. Mike was taken by surprise and he was glad because he had his own ideas how to get a not guilty verdict. Harvey did not agree with some of his tactics, but Harvey helped him as much as he could until the realization that the jury with Mike's strategy could return a guilty verdict better than a not guilty one. This hit Harvey square in the eyes. Harvey's response was to cause a mistrial irrationally thinking that it would be the best thing for all of them…including Mike.

The mistrial did not happen. All at once Harvey was out of ideas except to take on the responsibility of going to prison himself. It was the last thing he wanted to do now considering the status of his relationship with Donna and her condition. Mike had absolutely told him no way, but the more Harvey thought about it the more logical it was. He hired the boy, so he should take responsibility. After all Harvey knew and still went forth with his little experiment anyway. It all came to a head when he was discussing his fears and his decision with his fiancée in the middle of the night before the verdict was to be revealed.

They sat at the round dining table in Donna's apartment. Harvey had been alternating between his place and hers as Donna's belongings had still not completely moved to his. Harvey did not mind.

"No, Harvey, it doesn't have to be that way! You were just as guilty as Mike. But I have faith in the jury to find you both innocent. I can't lose you now! We've only just begun our life together. Besides you promised to marry me and I am not letting you off the hook that easy. I have faith in you, Harvey, but you don't have to sacrifice yourself.

Harvey had stood up behind the chair on the opposite side of the table. He never realized how much he had grown to care for Mike. He was like his baby brother, a baby reflection of himself. If Mike were Marcus, would he have left Marcus go to prison? He had protected his biological brother from Charles Forstman's evil. It had given Marcus a second chance. That's was where Harvey's focus had been pulled from he and Donna. Mike would be given a second chance he deserved if Harvey turned himself in to Anita Gibss.

Sometimes in the last few weeks, Harvey had known he could survive prison, but he knew Mike was more a sensitive guy than he was and the thought of anyone hurting Mike tore Harvey apart. Besides Mike was going to marry Rachel in a couple of months and he had his whole life ahead of him. Although what Donna said was true about he and her and the promises he made, he knew Donna would eventually forgive him for what he wanted to do. It was the only way to save the firm and Mike.

"It's my fault that Mike is where is…it's my Goddamn fault.." Harvey said with tears welling in his large brown eyes.

"I told you. You are just to blame as he is. Have faith. Please don't fall on your sword again," Donna said.

"Why not?"

"Because you can't leave me and the baby. We love you. I can't face this alone without you," Donna said rising. Her belly was taking on a shape of its own now with just a little more than three months to go from the birth. She came to Harvey and put her arms around him and leaned her head into his. They breathed together for a few minutes and then Harvey wrapped his arms around her as best he could. He felt a kick from his son as their foreheads were together. They kissed.

"Let the jury make the decision. I have faith in you and remember how much I love you," Donna said softly running a hand over the side of his head behind his ear.

That tiny gesture calmed Harvey. He swallowed his tears and gave a half smile to Donna in agreement.

"All right. I will let the jury decide."

The next day Harvey walked into the courtroom and Rachel had informed him that the jury had returned but when asked where Mike was she had not known. Instinctively Harvey knew where he was.

"I have to go," was all he said to Rachel has he hurried from the courthouse.

 _Oh shit! I hope he hasn't cut a deal. Whom am I kidding he had the same feeling I did that he was going to found guilty which would lead to all kinds of ramifications. Breathe.._

Harvey said to himself as his feet could not run fast enough across the street and down the block to the US Attorney's office.

 _Damn! Come on! Open goddamn elevatordoors!_ Harvey said in his mind as he tried to push the doors open as they closed on him when he swiftly approached the elevator. He fiercely pushed the "up" button again and finally after a little time...too much time Harvey proceeded upstairs to Anita Gibbs' office.

 _I've got to get there before he does something stupid. I knew he'd pull something like this. I should be the one in the deal not the kid._ Harvey's thoughts kept reverberating around the idea that he should have given himself up which is exactly what Harvey was going to do. _Should never have let Donna talk me out of it!_ _There is no official deal until the judge ratifies it in the courtroom._ He still had time.

In the meantime, Donna got out of a cab and found Rachel walking down the street away from the courthouse.

"Rachel!" Donna cried as Rachel heard her friend's voice and turned around.

"Donna."

"Where are you going? The jury's coming back," Donna said.

"It doesn't seem to matter now," Rachel said looking up at her pregnant friend thinking how much she wanted to be in that condition with Mike's child.

"What do you mean?" Donna asked concerned.

"It seems he cut a deal with Anita Gibbs. Harvey rushed right over to the US Attorney's office when I told him that the jury was coming back and then I found the both of them right after Mike told him what was done was done. Harvey, of course, said "bullshit" but Mike apparently protected everyone."

"Rachel, last night Harvey and I talked about he taking Mike's place. I persuaded him to have faith in the jury, but I would forgive him if he decided to do it anyway."

"Well, Harvey loves you more than Mike loves me I guess because we had the same talk and look what his decision was."

They walked over to a bench so they both could sit. Donna's baby bump was beginning to get cumbersome although she was not wearing her sky high heels but little kitten heels. However, Donna knew her feet would still be swollen at the end of the day.

Donna turned to look at her friend sitting beside her. The summer day actually was breezy and it the air blew through Donna's locks accentuating the growing plumpness of her features as her pregnancy continued. Rachel's face showed pale considering that her face was always that lovely color of caramel coming from a mixed parentage. Her makeup had been smeared from crying and just thinking what her life would be like in three days when Mike had to report to Danbury Federal Prison in Connecticut.

"Mike loves you. He loves all of us. That's why he did it. To protect the firm and those he cares about. Just because I persuaded Harvey doesn't mean he isn't feeling guilty for having put Mike where he was. But they both did it. One gave and the other took," Donna said trying to have Rachel see what Mike did was for all of them.

"Well, if they are both so guilty then Harvey should be in there cutting a deal as well."

"I don't think you mean that. I just told you that Harvey was willing to turn himself in."

"But he listened to you about the jury, Mike didn't listen to me."

"Rachel, you can't dwell on his decision. What is done is done. Focus on the time you have left. It's only two years. You will have finished law school and this little guy will be running around waiting to meet Uncle Mike."

Rachel knew Donna was right. At the moment, though, she was feeling resentful toward Mike, Harvey, Louis, Jessica and right now Donna. All of them had known and had participated in keeping his secret, so in Rachel's mind everyone should pay because she is making a sacrifice as well. She did not think too well with her lawyer mind because she was just as culpable as the rest.

"Donna, please be quiet. I know you're trying to help. I just can't listen to anyone's platitudes to me. I'm sorry."

With that Rachel walked off and hailed a cab back to her apartment.

Donna sat for a few more minutes and then she walked in the opposite way toward the courthouse hoping she would catch Harvey before he returned to the office. The firm now held so few people. The Associates' bullpen especially looked thin. Many of them snatched up by other presitigious firms like Rachel's father's firm.

She finally caught up to him at the curb where he was just getting into his car.

"Harvey!" She called and started to jog to catch up with him so he would not leave without her.

"Donna!" Harvey exclaimed surprised to see her. "Ray hold on. We have another passenger."

Ray just saluted in understanding.

Harvey ran to catch up to Donna and caught her before she tripped on her small heels.

"Donna, honey, what are you doing running in your condition?"

"I'm fine. I just saw Rachel and she said that Mike cut a deal. What kind of two year deal?"

"Let's get you in the car and then I'll tell you," Harvey said putting his arm protectively around his soon to be wife.

Once they were situated in the back of the Lexus, Harvey told Donna what deal he had signed with Anita Gibbs.

"Two years and Gibbs can't go after anyone else?"

"Yes," Harvey confirmed uneasily. "I tried to stop him and it but he called me on it and said I couldn't stop anything. I really tried."

Donna could feel how distressed and even more guilt ridden Harvey had felt and silently she took his hand and squeezed it.

Harvey did not let go all the way back to the firm.

 _A month later in Danbury Prison..._

Mike was sitting in the library of the prison minding his own business reading a book when his eye caught the eye of another prisoner. Mike had only been there a month, but he knew just about all the library regulars. This one he was sure he had never seen before. Yet he looked familiar and at the moment Mike's mind was just not registering where had seen him previously. Mike went back to his book.

"Are you a friend of Harvey Specter's?"

"Who wants to know?" Mike answered the tall, blonde stranger who had come to stand before him as Mike sat in the chair.

The tall, blonde bully sat down across from Mike and said, "Mitchell O'Brien."

Mike's eyes immediately popped over the book he was reading to lay on the face of the man who raped Donna and almost caused her to be lost to not only all of us but to Harvey who it mattered to most.

"What do you want, Mitchell?" Mike asked neutrally without revealing that he would like to put this man through a plate glass window and beat him until dead. Mike had heard what Harvey had physically done to this man before he had been thrown in prison. He thought everyone should have had a hand in beating the shit out of this man.

"I'd like to know if he's fuckin' married my girl yet."

"Yes. They are married and very happy," Mike fibbed. They were not married yet because Donna wanted to be sexy or something for her wedding was what Rachel had told him on her visit the other day. Harvey and Donna had set November 20, 2017, to get married. Rachel said Donna was giving her body a few weeks to get back to normal before she and Harvey had their honeymoon.

"I heard Donna's pregnant," Mitchell said.

"Where did you learn that?" Mike said.

"None of your business how I know what I know. Do you know who's the father?"

"Look, I don't know what you want, Mitchell, but Donna is off the menu. She is married to the man she loves and who loves her and they are going to be parents very soon."

"Well, if I find out that that bastard Specter is raising my child, you can tell him that he will be having some very uncomfortable people come to his office."

"You can't threaten him Mitch!" Mike said standing to his full six foot height. Mitch was about an inch taller. " He'll get your sentence increased to fifteen years because I hear he already got it increased to twelve from the original 10 you were sentenced due to your harrassment. Now Harvey doesn't care about himself, but if you or your brother or your associates harrass Donna or that baby Harvey will see to have you killed in prison and not regret it one little bit. Don't think he can't do it. Chew on that and get out of my face, O'Brien."

"Well, I don't think Harvey would have you do it. You don't look the type."

"You don't know what I'm capable of. I'll repeat. Get out of my face, O'Brien."

Mitch grimaced one more time at Mike doubting that Harvey could have him killed if he wanted. Mitch was not above getting what he wanted. He wanted to be sure that that baby Donna was having with her "husband" was not his. He was still pissed at Harvey because the civil suit had actually been successful for Meredith and now Mitchell had nothing to return to once his sentence was up.

After Mitch trodded away from Mike's presence, Mike took a deep breath. He really hoped there would be no trouble, but Mike would do what he could to protect Donna, Harvey and the baby from the baby's real father as best he could.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note: Well, I thought I would have had this finished by now, but I was busy finishing Everything I Own. Here's a late update and please read & review. The ending should be coming soon. BTW I did not plan this chapter to coincide with the holiday. Total coincidence. Thank you to all followers and those who favorite me. It encourages me to write more. - Carebearmaxi**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way Chapter 25

On July 4, 2016, Harvey bereft of Donna traveled to Danbury prison to see Mike. He had only spoke to Mike a couple of times on the phone since he was imprisoned last month. However, something in their last conversation alarmed Harvey and he felt he should visit as soon as possible. On the way to Danbury, Harvey dropped Donna off at her father's for a visit. Harvey suspicioned that both parents would be there wanting to note the progress of Donna's baby bump and to see if Harvey was still committed to marrying her. Harvey also had a professional call as one of his clients resided in Connecticut and conducted all his business in New York City. Considering the rare client who wanted to remain with their firm after Mike's tragedy, Harvey felt he should be conciliatory and visit his client in his habitat.

Harvey kissed Donna and patted her belly before he got out of the car. He told her not to move so he could act the gentlemen and considerate father-to-be and help Donna get out of the car on the other side. When he opened the door on Donna's side, he could not help himself and kissed her again and told her to be a good girl.

"Come on, I'm seven months pregnant what trouble can I get into?" Donna asked with a glint in her eye.

"You could get into trouble if you were a nun, Donna. I know you, remember?" Harvey retorted.

"You sure as hell do," Donna answered and could not help but kiss Harvey again. "Do you want to come up and say hello to dad and Veronica?"

"Who's Veronica?"

"My dad's girlfriend. To tell you the truth, I think he's only going with her to make my mother jealous. Personally, I am not a big fan of hers."

"Why is that? Maybe I should check her out?" Harvey bantered and gave his fiancee a swaggering look.

"You just go see Mike, Specter," Donna said pushing him toward the car. "Give him my love, ok?"

"Sure will," Harvey said and kissed Donna one more time with a concerned look in his eyes.

"I love you," Donna said.

"Love you, too," Harvey said and guiding her to the door and making sure she was safe inside before he drove away.

Mike looked a little haggard Harvey observed as he drew near the table in the communal meeting room. Harvey leaned over the table and hugged Mike tight. He missed this man who felt more like a brother than Harvey's real brother.

"You look like hell," Harvey said.

"So do you," Mike quipped back.

"No, you look better than I thought you would. How is Sundance holding up?"

"Oh, so you finally admit your Butch Cassidy,"' Mike joked back. "I'm ok. I spend a lot of time in the library, of course. Reading a lot and minding my own business for the most part."

"What do you mean for the most part? I told you. You have to watch your back and don't be too palsy with anyone because even though this is a minimum security prison you could still be on the wrong side," Harvey warned.

"I know. But last week after I talked to you something happened."

"What?" Harvey asked wondering what could have happened to him in this place other than getting on a guard's wrong side or another prisoner's.

"Mitchell is here," Mike said straightly gauging Harvey's reaction.

"Mitchell is here?" Harvey questioned. "How the hell did Mitchell wind up in a minimum security prison!? He committed rape!"

The lines of concern on Harvey's forehead deepened. "He approached you?"

"Yes, he asked me all about you and Donna."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him you were married."

"Does he know she's pregnant?"

"Yes. He found out somehow."

"Probably his no good brother the lawyer." Harvey gritted his teeth and looked away as if to think what he could do quickly to get rid of Mitchell and his inquiries.

"He also threatened you if he found out that Donna was carrying his child."

"Well, you did the right thing and didn't let him know about the baby." Harvey had said and the realization hit Harvey again that he had decided to take the responsbility of being a father to another man's child out of his love for Donna. Because of his relationship with Mike, essentially an orphan, Harvey also had felt he could love a child not his own. Harvey prayed that all would continue to go well with Donna's pregnancy and the baby's birth. He fervently hoped that they would conceive their own child after a year or two.

"Of course I wouldn't tell him that the baby was his, but I couldn't deny she was pregnant. Mitchell did make it sound like he had outside influences that could hurt you or Donna if he finds out that the baby is his."

Harvey took a deep breath. He gave Mike the sternest expression he could.

"Stay away from him. You may find some of the stink rub off on you because you are our friend. Be even more aware of your back than you already are. You call me immediately if Mitchell gets in your face again. If he wants a fight, he's got one. Don't you get embroiled in this, Mike. Rachel has already started counting the days until you're home again. I'll take care of Mitchell. I don't who he knew to put him here. He was in Attica with an increased sentence. You might also get out early if you're a real good boy."

"It's ok, Harvey. I'm learning a lot more in the library. I am also hoping that if Gibbs doesn't object I can actually attend law school as myself and become a "real" lawyer."

"Louis was right about one thing," Harvey said smiling a little as he prepared to take leave of his friend.

"What was that?"

"You were a great lawyer. You just didn't happen to graduate from law school."

With that, Harvey rose and hugged him one more time.

Into Mike's shoulder, Harvey said, "Take care buddy. Donna sends her love. Rachel said she'll be by next week to see you."

When they were done embracing like the brothers they had become in five and half years, Harvey reiterated, "Watch your back."

Mike half smiled and said, "I will."

A few hours later after his meeting with Mike and with his client, he drove back the same roads he took to Donna's father's house. The original plan was that he and Donna were to spend the night at her father's house and drive back to Manhattan in the morning. In lieu of his meeting with Mike, Harvey thought it better if they did not stay at her father's house as he may overhear something of which Harvey did not wish to discuss with him.

As he pulled up in the driveway of the house which was similar to Donna's mother's house, he spotted Donna, James, and another woman with dark hair which looked to be around James' age. That was probably Veronica. Her father's girlfriend and someone whom Donna said she did not really like. Funny, he did not see Roberta, Donna's mom. That was too bad because Roberta was just like Donna and loved to flirt with him. When she knew they were to be married, Roberta threw her arms around Harvey and called him "son". James, on the other hand, warily shook Harvey's hand and told him not to hurt her any more than he already had after twelve years. Harvey decided maybe it was not a bad thing to stay the night here after all.

"Harvey!" James Paulsen called. "Take a load off. Do you want a beer?"

"No. Not right now. Thank you."

Harvey shook hands with James and then scooting by him on the porch kissed James' daughter hello. He held her hand just a minute too long and she looked into his deep brown eyes and knew that something was amiss. When she indicated that they needed to talk, he shook his head and mouthed "later".

Donna said, "Harvey. This is Veronica Smalls. She is a friend of my father's or really the family."

Harvey shook her hand and then she decided she liked the look of him and pulled him down into a hug. Harvey looked over at Donna for help and all she could do was laugh. Heaven help him! Harvey was caught off guard by his own charms.

"Thank you for that welcome, Veronica," Harvey said laughing and smiling.

"You can call me Ronnie. Most people do except Donna here. Now I never knew why. We've known each other for the majority of her life," Veronica said. She was a small dark haired woman with a slight build and looked younger than her 68 years.

"The reason I never called you Ronnie is because your own name fits you better and is prettier than Ronnie. Veronica rolls off the tongue," Donna said being a little dramatic.

Harvey looked at Donna and smirked. He thought _pouring it on a little thick, aren't we? She must really not like her._ Donna was always genuine with people and loved to banter but when she pulled sarcasm that's when Harvey knew she really did not like the person she was speaking with. Donna was a great actress even if she were trying to pretend that she liked a person. Donna was subtle and only a person who knew her as well as Harvey could tell when she was being sarcastic though trying to sound genuine.

James had grilled some burgers on the coals along with some corn on the cob in celebration of the holiday. The evening became dark and James suggested they all gather in the backyard where the could see the holiday firework display emanating from the high school football field down the road. James always had the best seat in the house and most of the time he spent the 4th alone. However, this time he was very happy to be celebrating with his daughter, her intended, and his own current squeeze.

As they watched the fireworks light up the sky, Harvey and Donna thoughts returned to the past January when they watched the ball come down to mark the new year. Now the year was almost over and so much had happened and events were still to happen. Donna and Harvey sat together on the backporch swing under the darkening eaves of the porch. Veronica and James sat on the backporch far enough away that Harvey and Donna could share an intimate conversation without anyone eavesdropping.

"So do you want to tell me what happened on your visit to Mike?" Donna asked squeezing Harvey's hand and urging him to look at her.

"Nothing happened," Harvey said and put his arm around Donna and kissed the top of her head when it fell onto his shoulder.

"Nothing? You told me you would tell me later unless I have lost my ability to read your lips."

Harvey was torn. After staying here for a few hours, he did not want to spoil their time. He would make sure that nothing hurt Donna. It's not that he was not going to tell her about Mitchell and the whole ordeal it was just that he wanted to delay it just a little longer.

"This reminds me of New Year's Eve when we watched the ball drop," Donna said. "That was such a magical night. Wasn't it?"

Harvey just kissed Donna on top of the head again and enjoyed her in his arms as they watched the fireworks display. He did not really want to broach the subject of Mitchell and his threats.

Back in the office on Tuesday, July 5, 2016, Harvey received a rather strange phone call again. This time it was not Mitchell, but someone whom Harvey presumed was a friend of his.

" _Harvey Specter"?_ The caller asked when Harvey retrieved the phone. Harvey was answering his phone this morning as Donna had a doctor appointment. Normally Harvey would have been with her but he had been due in court very early that morning.

"Yes, this is Harvey Specter. Who is this?" Harvey asked as he stopped rifling through the papers on his desk.

 _"None of your business. I just wanted to call to say that Mitchell knows you want to play daddy to his kid. He don't like it."_

"Well, if I am, what's he going to do about it from the prison cell?"

 _"Anything he wants to and it may not concern your little buddy in there with him. It might be directed to Donna or you. Just remember, Mitchell is watching."_

 _Click._

Harvey looked at his phone as if it had a grown a face. Suddenly Donna came into the office.

"I got a new picture of the baby!" She sang and practically danced in front of him.

"Let me see," Harvey said but not with any enthusiasm.

"Harvey, what happened?" Donna asked.

Trying to change the subject he said, "He's getting to look like a baby."

"Well, I should hope so. I don't think I conceived an alien," Donna said sarcastically. "What's wrong, Harvey?"

"Nothing. I just have a lot on my mind," Harvey said handing Donna back the ultrasound picture. "Hey, do you think now that you're back in the office I could get some work done?'

Donna looked at Harvey and felt like he was reprimanding her for playing hooky from the office for the hell of it not for going to a necessary doctor's appointment. She decided to not bate him and said softly.

"Sure, Harvey, I'll be outside rearranging your calendar for the fifth time."

Later that night as Donna lay in bed alone, for Harvey decided he needed some time alone to work on his cases, she knew something was amiss. It was not just because of how he behaved when she returned to the office after the doctor's appointment, and it was not just because he had been too quiet. There were other signs that something was amiss. Things only she knew signified him being thrown off course. He had had chosen to wear his blue pinstriped suit with his plain white shirt and his yellow origami designed tie. He hated that tie ever since Louis had gifted it being Harvey's Pollyanna for a Christmas Party a few years ago. Harvey had mentioned at the time to Donna alone that he would only wear that tie if he felt funereal. Also she knew Harvey only wore his blue pinstriped suit if he felt he had to fight a war. Between those two signs and his less than enthusiastic behavior since returning home last night, Donna knew that Mitchell had probably reared his ugly head to Harvey and he wanted to protect her from him.

Memories of Mitchell and how he had raped her still made Donna shudder. The fact that she was carrying a seed from that rape had somehow become absorbed in her love for Harvey and how much he wanted to marry her and raise her son as his own. Donna appreciated Harvey her knight in shining armor; however, she was stronger now because of him and because Donna Paulsen never gave in to adversity. He needed to see that so he would not face this battle alone.

She heavily pulled her seventh-month-pregnant body from the bed and placed her robe over her shoulders to guard against the air conditioned chill in the condo and plodded her way to the living room where Harvey was sitting with his jacket off, his shirt sleeves rolled up and the yellow origami designed tie loose around his neck. Donna knew better than to just start touching him although she deeply wanted to hold him and let him know that on top of everything else he did not need to protect her so much. Mike's plea bargain and showing himself into prison was almost more than Harvey could bear. Now with something that he knew about Mitchell, Donna felt she needed to relieve some of the pressure she knew he was feeling.

"Harvey, how long has Mitchell been threatening us?"

Harvey swiftly turned his neck around to see Donna standing in the doorway of the bedroom.

"What?" Harvey asked squinting at her trying to pretend she did not know. He knew he could not hide anything from her. She knew every nuance of his behavior that displayed his feelings and reflected his thoughts or behavior. It was tough being so transparent to his love. He wanted to protect her so badly from anything that would ruin her pregnancy and love for her child especially trudging up memories of how that child was conceived.

"You heard me," Donna said coming into the living room and taking a seat next to him on the leather bound couch.

"It was yesterday and today."

"Yesterday? When you went to see Mike, he heard something," Donna confirmed.

"Yes."

Sitting back on the couch and pulling Donna back with him, Harvey told her what Mike had said. He then also reiterated the gist of the mysterious telephone conversation he had had earlier in the day.

"Call your buddy at the D.A.'s office or the police. Mitchell cannot get away with harrassment from jail. How did he get placed in a minimum security prison? Rape is a pretty serious crime," Donna asked.

"His brother was able to get his security risk lowered in exchange for the longer sentence. Oh, I inquired and it seems that Mitchell will be eligible for parole in six years!"

Donna gasped and held Harvey tighter around the waist.

"So what are we going to do?" Donna asked gasping and taking a long slow deep breath as she felt the baby move within her.

"Don't you worry. No harm will come to the baby or you. This asshole wants to fight. He's gotta fight."

"That's my man," Donna said and settled closer to Harvey. "And Harvey don't you worry about me. I can fight with you, too."

Harvey pulled her closer to him and patted her tummy where he noted he could see their child move. He said, "I know you will."


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's note: I'm working on a new story while trying to update this one. Don't give up on me. Ending in site. - Carol**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 26

The month of July was scary and sad for the members of Pearson, Specter, Litt. Mike had been serving his sentence all of four months and they still had not accumulated more than a handful of new clients. Some of the partners returned and some of the staff but at either renegotiated contracts or salaries. Rachel was kept busy still concentrating on her associate work at the firm at Harvey's side and learning all she could study at Columbia.

The threatening calls had resumed in late July and heading into August with Donna in her advanced condition caused Harvey to worry even more. His panic attacks had resumed in light of all the pressure he was under. He was bound and determined to haul PSL out of the mire of mud he had, in fact, partially plunged them. Unknowingly to his wife-to-be, Harvey had resumed his sessions with Dr. Paula Agard. He had come to find that she was a good therapist and a good sounding board when he could not unburden himself to Donna. Donna, he thought, would have been very angry had she known. However, this was for her own protection.

As for Donna, she grew more and more heavy with the baby but remained working faithfully as PSL was slowly being restored to something like a law firm. Harvey had commanded her not to be alone at anytime. Especially if she went to lunch or traveled anywhere without him which keeping the hours Harvey had was becoming more and more. When Rachel was not busy with school or work, she would sometimes accompany Donna to and from lunch or work. Ray was insistent on driving Donna anywhere she needed to go. This was not only a command from the boss, but because Ray was concerned for a woman in the latter stages of pregnancy having been with his own wife on more than a couple occasions.

Rachel's life was totally upside down at first. However, the less time she spent at the office where Mike's presence pervaded her in every corner the better time she had. Up until August, Rachel had moved back with her parents despite having to listen to a lecture every now and then. Laura Zane, unlike Rachel's father, Robert, was a good nonjudgmental comfort to Rachel at this time and was now the reason why Rachel was able to support and help in the efforts to bring PSL to its once glorified presence.

Harvey had left the office early one mid August morning. He took a hasty leave of Donna saying he would be back when he was back but if there was a real emergency call him on his cell. Harvey also had had a fight with Louis before he left which caused a panic attack for Harvey so he ran from the office and had Ray drive him straight to Dr. Agard's.

Dr. Agard open the door and was not pleased to see a sweating and heavy breathing Harvey who was in mid-panic.

"Harvey! Come in. It's ok...you're here now. Come on," Paula gently pulled Harvey into the room. "Calm down. Breathe...breathe."

"I'm gonna throw up!" Harvey said between gasps of air.

"No, you're not. You are going to calm down and then tell me what the cause of this attack was. Then you will conquer the cause and you 'll be fine. Just like the last time," Dr. Agard soothed.

Harvey looked at her and they breathed slowly together. Harvey's heart rate went down and he was finally able to sit back on the couch. Dr. Agard had brought him a bottle of water and smiled when he responded.

"Got any Scotch?"

Paula smiled and resumed her seat on her matching plush chair.

"Now, what do you think caused this? What happened right before you came here?" Paula asked crossing her legs and sitting her hand against her chin with her eyes half lidded in analysis of Harvey's predicament.

"Well, you know I've been getting these calls for the last month from Mitchell or one of Mitchell's cronies threatening Mike, Donna, the baby or me. I don't care about myself. The asshole can come at me every which way and Sunday but not Mike, Donna or his baby...our baby."

"Does it still bother you when you realize sometimes that the baby who is due next month, if I remember correctly, is not yours?"

"Sometimes it still bothers me. I'm hoping that will change once he's born. I saw Mike last month and he was very tired and I spoke with him yesterday and he said he had been beaten up again. However, he didn't think it was anybody connected with Mitchell. Donna knows about the threats and she has tried to help fight them in her own way. I don't want her to worry about it. She has enough working 12-15 hours a day helping to re-establish the firm and carrying a soon coming baby."

"Your panic attacks were originally from abandonment issues stemming from your mother. Obviously you are under tremendous pressure. I think you think that if you don't keep all the balls in the air that one or two people will abandon you. I know you love Donna and Mike and all your family at the firm. Do you feel they will abandon you if you abandon or relieve one of the pressures?"

Harvey thought for a moment. "Yes. I know if I don't protect Donna that someone will hurt her or the baby. I could not bear that. I know that if I am not persistent in finding a way to get Mike out of jail he may not survive two years. If Mike doesn't survive, my current associate, may never become a lawyer. She has a great potential to be a kickass lawyer, so I do not want to Mike abandon me if I abandon her in anyway. I don't want to be kicked from my firm, although I did step down unofficially, and abandon Jessica and Louis. I already feel I let them down and caused this whole fiasco. No, I know I caused it."

"Mike accepted the offer before you made the call. He knew the risk you were taking. You can't blame yourself for all of that."

"That's what Donna said the night before Mike made the deal with Anita Gibbs," Harvey said bowing his head in the pit of his folded hands between his knees.

"You still feeling like you're going to throw up?"

"Yes," was all Harvey could muster.

"Well, it is no wonder. Anyone could fall with the pressure you have placed on your shoulders," Paula stated succinctly. "I give you credit for not medicating yourself."

"Don't talk to Donna. She thinks I've become an alcoholic. She doesn't say it, but I know she's thinking it." Harvey waved a pointed finger in the air.

"Donna loves you so much, Harvey. You've no idea. She'd love you even if you never got the firm back on its feet. You haven't given up on any of them. Donna knows you won't. Jessica knows you won't and even Louis knows you won't. That's why they will not give up on you."

"What do I do? I'm drowning and I don't want to burden Donna with this. This is my problem."

"Look, you work as hard as you can on the firm restoration for eight hours a day. Go home with your fiancee and look forward to the birth of the baby. Remember to all appearances he is yours and Donna's. Only a handful know the truth and they won't care once he is here. Your first priority is Donna and the baby and their safety. You know this, Harvey. You didn't need me to tell you." Paula rose and helped Harvey up.

"Thank you, doctor."

"You're welcome, Harvey. Call me anytime you need," Paula said as she accompanied him to the door.

Harvey went home with Donna at the end of the day much to Louis' protestations that Donna needed to rest in her condition but Harvey's ass needed to stay and continue to drag PSL out the quagmire of bad public opinion in which he immersed them.

"Enough, Louis," Jessica had said when Harvey had confessed that he needed to go home early at least one night with Donna.

Jessica knew in her infinite wisdom that Harvey had worked harder than anyone else had because of his tremendous guilt. There were a few signs of improvement and Jessica had known of Mitchell's threats so she could empathize with her partner on his immediate desire to just go home and regroup.

In the meantime her problem child, Louis, was being sent to a couple of law schools who had asked him to speak. In view of how many articles Louis had published in his career, Jessica felt that he could, hopefully, not blow this opportunity to induce prospective associates from coming to work at PSL. Hopefully, knowing Louis' pompous personality when it came to his position compared to an associate, Louis' speech would not drive prospective associates away.

As for Jessica, she had seen Jeff a couple of times for dinner. However, she felt her own loss of what could have been as Jeff still felt he could not trust her. He tried valiantly to be her friend and lend a sympathetic ear, but Jessica knew that he was not venturing any further...at least not this soon. Maybe, not at all.

In late August, the obstetrician told Donna and commanded Harvey to make sure that Donna stopped working at the office. Her ankles were very swollen, her hands were swollen, and the doctor was concerned about her blood pressure which had elevated significantly in the last few weeks. The doctor thought she may have preeclampsia and the only way to alleviate it was to give birth. The little guy was not quite old enough yet, so the best thing for Donna to do was to take it easy until her due date in mid-September.

Harvey was still not telling Donna about all the phone calls nor his visit to the D.A's office and the police station. Harvey had traveled with Donna this time to see Mike in early August. Mike's reunion with Donna was everything he hoped it would be. They bantered back and forth and joked about Harvey's "ineptitude" and why Mike had to take the fall for them both. They were careful not to joke too much at Harvey's expense because Donna knew he still suffered a panic attack once in a while. She also knew he had resumed his appointments with Dr. Agard. He seemed to be restored to a mental health balance after these meetings, so Donna allowed Harvey his supposed secrecy about these appointments.

Mike had explicitly told them both that the threats he had encountered in here had almost stopped completely. The ones from Mitchell's party anyway. Mitchell had been transferred earlier in the month back to Attica much to Donna's relief because the last thing she needed was for him to see how far along her pregnancy actually was. Harvey had all but admitted that Donna was carrying Mitchell's son, so Harvey was prepared for the volatile situation which would ensue if Mitchell should get a glimpse of how big Donna's baby bump now was.

Before seeing Mike, Harvey had perhaps found an attempt to cut another deal with Anita Gibbs and Judge Ralls. It was to no avail as Anita Gibbs had reiterated the terms of the deal which Mike Ross had agreed. Harvey left the office bound and determined to get the leverage he needed to free his friend.

Harvey, also disgusted with the "empty" threats from Mitchell, traveled to not only the police but to his friend Jackson White in the D. A.'s office. Jackson had been a Harvard law buddy of Harvey's when they attended and knew of Harvey's firm's plight. Jackson originally thought that Harvey wanted to offer him a senior partnership, but Harvey said not exactly but if he were willing he could offer him many advantages. To somewhat disappointment, Harvey's friend said no.

"Ok, Harvey, what is it you want me to do?" Jackson, a man similarly built to Harvey, with blonde hair and bright blue eyes asked.

"Well, it's about some threats that my fiancee and I have been receiving. We know who is responsible. He is prison for raping her. She is pregnant with his child from that rape, but he only surmises it. No one really knows the true paternity of the child Donna is carrying except for our few friends and her parents. The baby is due in a few weeks and Donna will be spending plenty of time at home. I have already asked her mother to stay with us, I want to ensure that these threats stop. I don't think that Mitchell will have anyone act on them, but I can't be sure and I am rather afraid for her and the baby once he is born."

"Have you gone to the police?" Jackson asked making a face at his friend's difficult situation.

"Yes, I was there before I came here. They told me since the calls were on my cell phone I should get rid of my cell phone."

"Did you?"

"I not only changed my cell phone number, Donna's cell phone number, and my home landline number. Then I got rid of the equipment altogether. I just received another phone call yesterday on a new piece of equipment and a new number!" Harvey was vehement in his voice. "This has to stop!"

"Well, I can't promise anything, but I will pull the records from his rape trial. You also pursued a civil suit for his first wife, was it?"

"Yes, she's a paraplegic because of him and she was railroaded by the then D.A. who prosecuted the case. Not Terence he had one of his ADA's take first chair"

"Can I see the files on those case proceedings as well? I may recognize something you may have missed." Jackson said hoping Harvey would not take offence for having said he may have made a mistake.

To Jackson's surprise, Harvey said, "No, I'm hoping you would. Here are the files." Harvey pulled out several brown covered flapped legal files from his briefcase and handed them to Jackson who took them in his two hands.

"I gave the police a description of the voices. Donna's was much the same. I intercepted the last call that was on her cell and I did not tell her about it. The voices all seem to be older men with Brooklyn accents and one from North Jersey whose voice was rather raspy as if the voice was attached to a heavy smoker."

"Thank you, Harvey. That should be enough. Let me know if you receive any other calls. Do me a favor, can you try to record the call if it comes in on your land line?"

"I'll try. Thank you, Jackson. You just took a load of my mind," Harvey said rising and shaking his friend's hand.

_ After that visit, Harvey felt much better than he had in weeks. He went back to the office and decided he and Donna were going home now! They would both be back later that day.

As they rode home in the Lexus, Ray had closed the window between the front and back portions of the car as to give him and the future Mrs. a few private moments.

"Do you want to tell me what put you in the best mood I have seen you since Mike went to prison?" Donna asked looking at the side of her beloved's head and catching a corner of his wide mischievous smile.

Harvey turned to Donna to face her completely. He reached over and kissed her on the lips and let his lips linger. He sat back then and just smiled.

When they arrived home, Harvey told Ray to come back about five. He then handed Donna carefully out of the car and they strolled up to the penthouse. Donna preceded Harvey into the apartment and kicked off her shoes which were much smaller heels than Donna had worn in a long time. Not exactly flats for Donna would never succumb to that but kitten heels with a little rise.

Harvey smirked and laughed and then he chased Donna from behind and kept chasing her until she fell onto their bed where he carefully enclosed her in his arms and kissed her.

"Sex? You want sex now? It's the middle of the afternoon..." Donna stared at her love's handsome face and could not believe the sexy smile he was giving her. She had not seen his eyes light up and his "I'm hot for you" smile for weeks. She was not sure she was up to making love. One thing about the last trimester in pregnancy, Donna found, that it could be as exhausting as the first trimester. However, she had not had Harvey's undivided attention for so long she was not about to discourage it.

"Yes, I want you," Harvey said not believing how turned on he was by this beautifully voluptuous vixen of a pregnant woman. He kissed her deeply tasting the coffee she had had earlier and the sweetness of the vanilla extract she always placed in both of their coffees.

"Harvey, this may bring on labor, you know," Donna warned. She drew him to her. He had his arms around her but he was slanted as her belly was tricky this big.

"Get on top," he commanded.

"Ok, first undress me," Donna said challenging Harvey. She wanted to see if his desire dimmed as he looked at her protruding belly.

Donna stood up and Harvey did the same as he kissed her he unzipped the back of her green maternity dress. It tantalizingly plunged to a V-neck which allowed her enlarged bosoms to pop. He pulled the dress down to pool around Donna's feet. She, in turn, had untied his tie and threw it to the ground growling the whole time she deeply mouthed his chest as he opened his shirt.

"Baby you gotta fever... do you want momma to bring it down?" Donna purred biting Harvey's earlobe.

"My God, woman, you are..." Harvey kissed her and undid Donna's bra while he did. Her breasts were so large now and lay on her belly. Harvey never thought a woman so beautiful as his Donna with child.

Now fully undressed, Harvey went to his knees and found her womanly place. He kissed it and they both knew at this advanced stage of pregnancy it may not be a good time for oral sex; however, that did not stop Harvey from placing Donna in a sitting position on the bed and lick her womanly place making it swell with desire. Donna tasted sweeter to Harvey's tongue and he liked to think of it as part of the pregnancy just like her beautiful round baby belly and enlarged breasts. Donna came to lie on the bed propped on pillows as she moaned and grabbed at the backboard as Harvey's mouth suckled and his tongue constantly bringing her up and down.

Harvey finished with his foreplay lie on the bed and helped Donna to mount him.

"Oh baby..." she moaned as she carefully mounted his erection. She was slick from desire and Harvey's ministrations. She was so open and when she impaled herself on Harvey's hardness, a low erotic moan escaped her lips. She did not think she would be so turned on at eight months' pregnant but he filled her so well and comfortably. She slowly started to grind herself into his pelvis. Her large breasts hung in Harvey 's face and he lapped at them as if she were his Goddess of Water and he was thirsty as he drank from her.

Their natural rhythm overcame their fear of sex in the third trimester and they tried a side by side position next which Harvey found deeply satisfying and Donna found very restful and enjoyable.

Finally succumbing after the third time, Harvey just looked at Donna. His arm was around her belly and a few times he thought he felt the little guy in there kick against the pressue of his hand. Donna moaned in her sleep and gathered Harvey's hand closer to her breasts. He lay behind her and sighed as fell asleep spooned behind her.

At five o'clock the alarm rang and both Harvey and Donna could not believe how deeply and peacefully they had slept. Donna slammed the alarm on her side of the bed.

"I don't know want to go back to work," Harvey said sleepily bringing Donna back down to his level. "You are so beautiful."

"Thank you," Donna said spooning herself back to Harvey. She could feel his erection behind her and figured that maybe he was just waking up and not really desirous of more sex. She was exhausted and hoped that Harvey would bow out, too. They had not had a peaceful evening since Mike had gone to jail and the threats from Mitchell had begun.

Harvey rose on his bent elbow and turned Donna to his view. Then remembering that Donna should not lie flat on her back, he propped himself up on the strewn pillows and invited Donna into his arms. She took the sheet with her.

"No, not yet. I want to look at you," Harvey said softly.

Donna looked up into his face and although a little chilly she acquiesced to his soft request.

Harvey engulfed her in his arms and he looked at her beautiful cherubic face. Her fair skin with the light freckles was flushed. Her green eyes shone brilliantly reflecting the late afternoon sunshine shining from the windows. Her whole body was flushed. He bent down and encased her now enlarged breast in his hand and then bending over her suckled gently loving the full feeling of her in his mouth. He gently carressed her large protuding belly and loved how soft it still was though taut with the pregnancy. _My woman is so beautiful in this state (gravid) I believe was the latin word for it._

"Harvey, what is it?" Donna asked holding onto his arm which enveloped her belly. He laid his head on her stomach and swallowed hard.

"Nothing. I will not let anything ever happen to you again," Harvey said over come with love for her and the child she carried.

"I know. I believe you," Donna said carressing his face as his head had risen from her belly and she kissed him.

"I know." Then Donna kissed him deeply and they began again and forgot all about returning to the firm.


	27. Chapter 27

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way - Chapter 27

Donna went into labor in early September. Luckily her mother had been at the condo while Harvey had gone to the office. At first Donna was not sure if she were in real labor or false labor. She had woken Harvey very early one mid August morning thinking the baby was early. The obstetrician did say that due dates were only estimates, after all. It turned out a false alarm. However, after sitting on the couch, trying to concentrate on a talk show with her mother, Donna's water broke (all over Harvey's couch). Her contractions became harder and Donna tried the breathing exercises she had learned in her birthing classes. She tried but either her powers of concentration were off or the pain was a little worse than she expected.

"Harvey," Roberta said into her cell phone before taking Donna to the hospital.

"Yes, Roberta," Harvey responded thinking it was just a simple request.

"It's time."

Now Harvey was not the kind of guy who panicked normally except late last year when Donna's leaving had reaped all types of panic on him drudging up his abandonment issues and later when Mike was being tried for fraud. Harvey had decided this time that he was strong now and that Donna really needed him. Just like she did when this whole business began and he came through for her. Just like he would again. He rose from his chair and went to Rachel's office and told her what was happening. Luckily Gretchen was able to do double duty again for a little while until a temp could be found. Finally, Harvey made it to Jessica's door where he also found Louis.

"Harvey, I was just about to call..." Jessica said wanting to give some good news about their firm's stabilization plan to her third partner.

"Donna's gone into labor. I gotta go!"

"By all means, what are still doing here?" Louis interrupted before Jessica could say the same.

"We're saying a prayer for her," Jessica said as she watched Harvey run from the office to the elevator.

By the time Harvey had arrived at the hospital, Donna was six centimeters and they had learned they did not have long to go before Donna could start pushing.

"Harvey! You made it!," Donna said gratefully as he approached the bed and gave her a kiss. Roberta had given him a hug and a kiss as well. She maneuvered her way around to the other side of the small room and sat in the other chair placed there. The other part of the birthing room contained the warming table for when the baby was born.

"What? You thought I would wuss out? We're going to have a baby!" Harvey said with true realization in his eyes. Briefly it had dawned on him that this was not his biological son being born but to the man who raped her. Donna seemed to have placed that horrible experience in the back of her mind as she lay there in pain preparing to raise a child she had never expected. Her focus was having a healthy baby. Harvey's focus was on his fiancee and her health as well as the new life she brought into the world.

During the contractions Harvey coached her to breathe as he had learned reluctantly in the birthing classes Donna had insisted they attend.

After she had taken a cleansing breath after a particularly hard contraction to which the only telltale sign was a tear escaping from Donna's eye, Harvey noticed that her contractions were probably getting stronger let alone the beeping machine to which Donna was tethered.

"Do these exercises really help you, Donna?" Harvey asked curious.

"They were great when I wasn't in pain, however, when the real labor began I started having my doubts."

Then Donna smiled at him. Her face brightened with such a sudden and brief serenity that Harvey wondered from where it derived. She laid her head down wearily and said to him: "Do you know what really helps me?"

Harvey said, "What? I'll do anything to help you, you know that."

"Just you're being here and holding my hand and entering a new world that you never thought you wanted to enter...or was worthy of."

"You're just saying that because the drugs are kicking in," he joked and chuckled.

"Could be. They are really good drugs," Donna said and they both shared a laugh.

An hour later a nurse came into examine how far she had been dilating.

"Ok. Are you ready to see your son?"

"Yes," they both said.

"Where's Grandma?" The nurse asked them.

"She left to call and wait for my father," Donna said while the nurse started to change the bed from a bed to a delivery table and turned on the warming table for the baby and called the doctor to let them know that all hands on deck for the birth of a new baby in Room 304.

"You must really like your job," Harvey mentioned as he watched the nurse fly enthusiastically around the room doing what was to her a routine but strange to he and Donna.

"It's the best job in the world. Nothing like seeing a new life being born. Would you like the mirror so you can see the birth?"

Harvey swallowed hard at first and then he looked at Donna who admonished him without words and smiled when he said, "Of course, I wouldn't miss this for the world." Harvey had to breathe through a coming panic attack for which he was not sure where that came from at all.

Harvey started to really sweat then with Donna. He had long since abandoned his tie and jacket and unbuttoned the top buttons of his ivory shirt. The nurse offered him a gown in the event he wanted to "catch the baby". Harvey joked and said he would leave that to the professionals. He wiped Donna's brow with a cloth of cold water and asked her how she was doing. He himself was feeling like he was in pain, but he chalked that up to sympathy pains which the teacher at the birthing classes said might happen if he was really in tune with his partner. _Sympathy pains, him?_ Definitely new ground for him and this was no time to be sick. By the time Donna was on her third push he had recovered and was excited as he saw the head of the baby reflected in the mirror.

"Donna," the doctor said."Hold off pushing for just a minute. He's got a giant head of red hair it looks like, so it's going to be tight. I don't want you to tear, so I'm going to alleviate the pressure a bit. You're going to feel a sting later on so don't worry, it's ok."

He performed an episiotomy which made the baby's head a little easier coming through as he was born.

Soon the doctor said, "Are you watching? Here he comes! One more push oughta do it."

Donna pushed. Donna felt an immense release and looked down between her legs and then up at the mirror. Her little baby slipped through and the doctor caught him. He was a beautiful red haired bouncing baby boy. He cried healthily and was placed on Donna's chest for a minute before they would clean him up.

"Oh, aren't you the sweetest...my baby," Donna cried and kissed his little forehead. The baby clung to his mommy and was a little jerky and new. Harvey was paralyzed for a moment before he decided he should take a picture and send it to the office. He did not realize it was six in the morning. Donna had gone into early labor around 10:00 am the previous morning and now after almost 24 hours they had their little guy in the world.

"Ok, we're going to weigh him now as the doctor cleans you up. Would daddy like to come over here while we weigh him and then you can hold him?"

"I guess so." Harvey could not help but smile when the nurse called him "daddy".

He kissed Donna and said, "You did real good today, Red."

While Donna was busy delivering the placenta and being stitched, Harvey went over to the warming table and took a good look at this little boy whom Harvey had been prepared to call his son. Harvey's heart melted. How could anyone not love a child?

"Hey little man how are we?" Harvey murmured to him when the newborn was finally cleaned; fitted with a bracelet as was Harvey and footprinted. He carried his son over to Donna who was now cleaned and resettled in the bed comfortably.

"Hey we never came to an agreement about his name, did we?" Donna asked.

"Well, I say looking at him, he looks more like a Colin James than a Harvey Paul," Harvey said as the baby held onto his finger as Donna held him.

"I agree. Welcome to the world Colin James Specter". Donna kissed his little forehead again and Harvey kissed his little hand waving around out of the swaddling in which the nurses had placed him.

_ Little Colin James Specter weighed in at 9 lbs even. When he was brought into the office to be shown off about a month later, the baby they saw had a shock of red hair and a cherubic face. Everyone said he looked just like Donna. That included her parents and Harvey's brother when he saw all the changes that had come into his brother's life in less than a year.

Donna and Harvey actually married a few months later. They both did not want to wait any longer and slipped away one weekend to Las Vegas with Colin staying with her parents and Donna and Harvey being accompanied by Donna's younger sister, Julia and her boyfriend. Harvey and Donna returned with promises of a big splashy wedding when Donna felt ready to resume high heels and tight gowns.

As baby Colin grew, he resembled Donna more and more (fortunately) and even took on some of his adoptive father's characteristics. Donna became pregnant one year later and had another boy. This one they named,Gordon Ross, after Harvey 's father and Mike who was doing better in prison and looking forward to being released soon. Two years after Gordon's birth when Donna and Harvey were almost into their 50's, they had another surprise of a daughter whom they named Jessica Michelle.

After the birth of Colin, Harvey and Donna purchased a house in the suburbs. It is assumed they all lived happy ever after.

 _Ten years after Colin's birth..._

It was Saturday and the children had their recreational activities to attend. Donna prepared the children in their uniforms while Harvey loaded the equipment into the back of the SUV.

"Come on, guys, you're going to be late for the first pitch, Gordon," called Harvey.

After calling for his son, he expected to see him in full baseball uniform with his head hung low in concentration. At eight years old, Gordon Ross Specter was his father's son. However, instead of seeing his eight-year-old son, he watched his wife carrying their daughter's pink softball equipment bag with a reluctant six-year-old Jessica living up to the roots of her red hair.

"I don't want to play, mom!"

"You'll play and you'll like it young lady," Harvey admonished hearing his daughter's protests. She was really more of a girly-girl, but Harvey insisted on making an athlete out of her. One had to have a break from dancing and singing after all, he thought.

Eventually all the Specters drove to the park and one parent decided to go to Gordon's game and the other decided to attend Jessica's game across the park.

Donna decided it was her turn to watch Gordon, so she sat on the bleachers and passed some time with the other mothers and lamented about different items. In the middle of the conversation with a mother, Donna's focus strayed to a large blonde haired man who stood up against the first base side fence. Donna was sitting on the third base side so she was able to spot him in a minute. She never thought that she would ever see this man again. For years that night and the thought of his hands punching her and his belt whipping her would seep into her thoughts and dreams making her shrink all over again. She scrambled for her cell phone and called her husband who was on the other side of the park coaching their daughter's team.

"Harvey," Donna said.

"Yes, how's Gordo doing?" Harvey asked trying to be a first base coach while listening to what his wife was saying.

"He's here," Donna said tremulously.

"Who's here? Donna, you don't sound well. Who's here?"

"Mitchell."

"I'll be right there," Harvey said. He hung up his phone and told the coach there was an emergency with his son and to keep an eye on Jessica. Pamela, Jessica's coach, said no problem and to call her if Jessica would need a ride home or a place to stay. Harvey thanked her and then ran off to the other side of the park to deal with the situation.

Donna had taken refuge at their vehicle. Harvey was hard pressed to find her at first and waved to Gordon who had called out to him. He told him he would be right back.

"Donna, where is he?"

"He's over by the first base fence. I don't think he saw me. I didn't want him to see me."

"Understandably. I'll take care of it. Stay here."

Donna trembled and Harvey squeezed her arm briefly and told her not to worry.

Harvey saw Gordon up to bat and gave him the thumbs up. Gordon was an advanced player for his age and that was why he was on the ten-year-old's team and able to pitch. Harvey had nicknamed him a "baseball prodigy". He knew he exaggerated but this was his son and he was proud of him.

Harvey walked up to Mitchell and said loudly, "When the hell did they let you out and why the hell are you here?"

"I came to see my son," Mitchell said and retreated from the side of the fence as he did not want to cause a disturbance.

"You never had a son, Mitchell. The child Donna carried after you raped her was mine," Harvey lied.

"No he wasn't. Remember those phone calls and the crap I gave your buddy before I was moved a third time?"

Harvey just stood there and waited for Mitchell to continue his tale.

"Those people kept tabs on you and Donna. I had a contact in the hospital that definitely knew that that boy born on September 9, 2016 was mine and not yours."

"Well, you know what, Mitchell, I guess your people were stopped from keeping tabs on us in the last few years because your son is no longer here."

"What do you mean?"

Harvey gulped and with tears in his large brown eyes, he said, "He died, Mitchell. In my arms and Donna's." Harvey wiped his tears away in his own grief which he thought had dissipated but somehow still felt as fresh as when it happened. Harvey was very glad that he had confronted Mitchell and not Donna. She fell completely apart after Colin's death.

Harvey signaled to Mitchell and told him to walk a few feet away. He waved to Donna who knew at once why it was taking so long for Harvey to get Mitchell to go away. She knew he was telling him about Colin's death which had devastated the both of them.

"Tell me, Harvey, please. I have thought of my behavior toward you and Donna while I was in prison and I was not happy. I have gotten help and I was just coming to see if I could pick him out of a crowd. I did not want to cause any trouble. I just wanted to see him. I knew you would be a good father to him. Believe me. I didn't come here to cause trouble," Mitchell said taking a seat on a swing which was where Harvey had led him.

"He _died?_ " Mitchell said and shed his own tears and swiped a hand down his face and stopped at his mouth somehow trapping his own grievous cry inside.

"How?"

At that point, Donna had come up behind Harvey. She decided that dealing with Mitchell and their lost child was not all on Harvey. She had to face it again as well.

"He had a congenital heart defect that no one detected. Apparently in your family because I know my family history there is someone with a heart valve problem. Except in Colin's case no one detected it and it became worse until the day it took his life," Donna explained.

Mitchell knew at once whose heart problem his son would have inherited. "My Uncle Bob died young of a heart defect but he wasn't a child. He was a young adult."

Harvey took up the story from there. "He had developed pneumonia about a year and half ago and that's how they found out about the heart valve problem. We were able to cure him of the pneumonia but then he got a cold and... so he basically...drown," Harvey haltingly explained turning away so no one could see him cry.

"So he died...last year?"

Donna nodded quietly and tried to keep tears from sliding down her cheeks, "Yes. He died peacefully, though. Harvey and I both held him just like we did when he was born." Donna began to really weep new tears for her lost baby boy.

"So the other two children are yours?" Mitchell said.

"Yes, our son Gordon is on the mound at the moment. He's eight and suffered when he lost his brother. Colin was his best friend. Jessica our daughter is on first over in the softball field. She misses him, too. She always called him...big brofer," Harvey explained and smiled at the childish immidation he did of his daughter.

Suddenly, Gordon came off the field and asked his parents who it was they were speaking with and why everyone was crying.

"Mitchell is my name. I just wanted to say I knew your brother, Colin. Was he a good big brother?"

"Yes, he was my brother and my best friend. Dad taught us both how to pitch. I always thought that Colin was a better pitcher. I miss him. I feel an empty place here," Gordon said point to where his heart would be.

"We all do, sweetie" said Donna and hugged Gordon tightly in her arms.

Mitchell bowed his head while Harvey returned Gordon to the game.

"Are you all right?" Harvey asked Donna.

Donna feeling that Mitchell was no longer a threat to her after all these years, said "Yes, I'm fine."

"I'll be right back and then we can check on Jessie's game," Harvey said giving her a sad smile.

After Harvey left her and Mitchell alone, Mitchell asked, "Donna, can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Can you take me to Colin's grave? I would like to go to pay my respects."

Donna began to weep silently. She bowed her head and when she looked up she smiled, "Of course."

Donna then said she would talk to Harvey and all of them would go to Colin's gravesite. So Mitchell would not have to grieve alone for the son that he never knew.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: This story took on a different life than the one I originally outlined. I hope you enjoyed it and please don't be mad at me for the ending as the way I intended was that something good came from something horrible if it was only temporary. Please R & R - Love - Carebearmaxi**

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way – FIN

All four Specters and Mitchell stood in front of the lost child's grave. Jessica put a small bouquet of flowers on a small tuft of dirt; Gordon began to cry all over again because the pain was still fresh. Harvey had one arm around Donna and one hand splayed hand over both children's shoulders.

The man who was Colin's biological father but a stranger knelt on one knee in front of the small headstone and examined the name:

COLIN JAMES SPECTER

SEPT 9, 2016 – JUNE 20, 2025

BELOVED SON AND BROTHER

 _We will see you in heaven-_

Mitchell had wanted to speak with Donna alone, so he asked Harvey and her if it would be ok.

"Are you sure you're ok with this, honey?" Harvey said examining Donna's body language. Donna had had to convince Harvey that Mitchell seeing Colin's grave would be fine with her. She thought Mitchell had an abstract right, so Harvey looked at the situation if the roles were reversed and said he was fine with it as long as she was.

"Yes. Take the children to the car. I think they have had enough," Donna said. She wanted to make it a family outing. One that they had been procrastinating for quite some time. Colin had been gone for almost a year now. However, to Mitchell, the pain of never knowing but losing nonetheless was fresh and hurtful.

"Donna, I want to apologize to you most of all for that night. That horrible night. I had no right to do what I did. You had told me about you and Harvey. I was a different person back then. Being in prison changed me."

"Mitchell. It's done and over with. It was a horrible act you did to me, but I did have a beautiful son because of it. What's more is Colin had a great father in Harvey. He loved him like he was his own. He even wanted him to go to law school."

She stopped talking and pulled a photograph out of her purse.

"I thought you would be curious to know what he looked like, so I pulled one of his last school pictures. This was from first grade," Donna said handing Mitchell the picture.

"Oh he had your hair and freckles…"

"He had your blue eyes. Anyone who noticed know that I have dark green and Harvey has deep brown. We would tell anyone that we chalked it up to a mutant genetic happening. I knew, however, whose eyes they were. Funny, I thought they would haunt me because of what happened but actually I found life in those eyes. Keep the picture. It's yours."

"Thank you. It seems you and Harvey have built a wonderful life."

"Yes, we have. Colin was the beginnings of that life. Harvey was as heartbroken as a father could be when Colin died. I just wanted you to know that Colin was a very special boy. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. However, thank you for this and for letting me come here. Also.." Mitchell's voice became soft with grief.

"For what?"

"For forgiving me."

Donna's smile was brittle and then she hugged Mitchell and said, "God Bless You."

Mitchell released Donna from his embrace and knew he would never see her again.

Donna watched him walk past her and onto where his car was parked. When he drove away in the distance, Donna walked back to where her family…her living family waited for her. Before walking completely back to them, she turned and returned to Colin's grave and laid a mother's kiss on the gravestone as if her little boy were still in her arms. She then looked up and the sun suddenly shone brighter almost as if it were on cue and a sent a message from Colin that all was well and mommy didn't need to cry anymore.

THE END


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